Alkie the henpecked reindeer
Likes to get drunk a lot
If you tell him to do stuff
He’ll probably just smoke some pot
He has a wife named Gloria
Who is a real mean witch
If you confront him about it
He’ll probably start to cry like a bitch
All of the other reindeer
Used to compete with full throttle
Except for poor old Alkie
He would rather get blotto
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Foggy cause he was drunk
Santa came up in a wheeze
Saying “Alkie, the Mrs gave me VD”
So Alkie started to sober
He was out of his funk
As for poor old Santa
He’ll have spots on his winkly junk