[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@Shylover  
its not a big deal though. life sucks then we get over it. you should get over it to.

@Background Pony #6048  
And have myself a future of wastelands and a meaningless life? No thank you.

@Shylover  
i mean if you just sit around and complain about stuff, then nothing changes.  
if you want change then go out there and change stuff.
 
you already said multiple times you give up, so you’re contradicting yourself.

@Background Pony #6048  
I’m not trying to contradict myself. I’m sorry if it does felt like it. But this pandemic has severely destroyed everything. I’m just not ready for anything anymore. And I fear the future completely. I think it’s best to accept the fact that there is no hope. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to argue. And I never meant to.

Yeah, maybe I don’t deserve a future

@Flutter_Lover  
So why even think about the future? Live for the present. Practice art. Train hard. Play harder.

We are all being lied to, the truth will set us free and they want slaves.

@tehwatever  
I don’t want to this to be my whole life. I don’t want to spend my existence living with both of my parents and live in a place where there’s no ounce of diversity and worry about my skin color being a hindrance to people with my color. And I only have one friend who I live around with, and I’m the only person available because no one else is trustworthy but me.

@Flutter_Lover  
I’m sorry to hear that.
 
Then I suppose you should start making a getaway plan. But in the meanwhile you gotta grind. Practice art. Train hard. Play harder.
 
I promise you. A good training and play session puts your mind at ease and makes your body relaxed.
 
Hope you can get out sooner than later.

@tehwatever  
What getaway plan? Moving out? That won’t happen until this pandemic ends.

@ᏰᎯᎠᎻᎬᎯᏒᎿ  
That’s the problem. We are all slaves. Every dreamers and hope believers are all slaves. Slaves to a pandemic that is going to last forever. Slaves to our own comfort zones while we’re abandoning the things that we love to do or go to or even support to. Our whole lives are at the brink of the collapse. Just like our country. Just like the whole world. And all we do is nothing but fear. Fearing each other. Fearing about our own colors (which is bullshit, because we all human beings, no matter what color we have). Fear from the real world. Fear like our lives don’t matter. Fear on our own homes. That is all I see. Fear. Fear. And fear. Nothing good is happening. And the future……….. No. Our future is dead. All I see is family and friends breaking apart. All I see are careless people not supporting the things we love and recover them. All I see is hate. All I see is fear. All I see is racism. All I see is anger. I see no hope. I see no love. I see no unity. I see no road to recovery. I don’t see it. I see nothing but “not given a shit” in this world. That’s all I see. I cannot believe that I am alone on this. I can’t believe it. I just can’t…….
 
I no longer trust my home nor my planet anymore. I am so alone. I can’t believe this. There’s just no hope anymore. Let the whole world rot for all I care. I have nothing left. This pandemic can go to hell for everything it has done.

I used to believe in hope…..

idk, its pretty interesting to wait and see society collapses. no fear here. i bet life would be full of excitement once everything crumbles.

@Background Pony #6048  
…..  
_{Like I said. No hope. No future.}

@Shylover  
a future exists regardless if its the way someone wants it or not.  
my future probably involves being homeless, but that doesn’t bother me all that much. just going with what life gives me.

I only say this with the greatest reservation: But sometimes I wish I was just something, instead of having to endure the thousand impressions that flood my mind every day, and that just make a mess in my head. Apart from the daily moments of clarity, in which I can taste the individual paths of existence and understand how everything is interwoven. Again and again I feel torn between the mouths of Scylla and the depths of Charybdis and I don’t know how to escape this maelstrom. A constant suffering that not even Sisyphus could understand.

@DarkObsidian  
You make me cringe, but I have a deep respect for you.
 
I’ll never be much in life. I’m an abused mixed-race who was born outside of marriage. Very few can see past the superficial, who I could’ve been. I see no future for myself.
 
You don’t scare me, I don’t care. I don’t care if I die.
 
I live my life for pleasure and to be happy.
 
I’m always drunk but that’s who I am, and I choose death by alcohol.
 
We were friends during my shortened time in this world. And to have someone who would bother being my friend? That makes my entire life worth being here.

I’ll often put the gun to my head and practice pulling the trigger.
 
I need to remember something…
 
The gun is loaded with magnums

Felt like coming here, but when you’re someone on twitter constantly seeing certain people (including a well known popular derpibooru commentator) blocking you despite having once ever wronged them but they are willing to see you as the bad guy really can make you feel like a shitty person.

I feel like the meds I took today after I suffered withdrawal from after my last supply of prozac that was empty 3 days ago made my depression worse today….or it could be just me not handling life the way I should.

I snuck back to this website bearing gifts and apologies for my narcissistic, victim complex behavior.
 
If I speak to them again I’m going to get turned into the police.
 
I love them so much, but I did a shit job of showing it, so the better me is just going to let it be. I can’t have whatever I want, even if it’s just closure.

What did I do to deserve this?

My personality is a textbook case of executive function disorder, paired with narcissism and victim complex almost as if to ensure nobody has empathy.  
I’m completely unemployable. Having never had meaningful employment.  
I’m transsexual. Been all my life and came out pretty late (well for a whIle I just wanted to be a girl, I didn’t know how to be trans )  
My school record is filled with classes that are marked zero from me freaking out and abandoning.  
I have seperation anxiety from the only website that loved me after I freaked out on them.  
I will only ever be the person that knows an uncomfortable amount about drug physiology for someone who isn’t a doctor.  
I can’t stop drinking my sorrows away.
 
I want to die, I want to show the world it hurt me. Real rope moments, I’m in most of the risk groups. Alcoholic, trans, ostracized, previous attempt
 
There is these sweet, vulnerable people I want to live for though, and I don’t know how. They have so much love and empathy. I’ll find a way. This broken body is a beautiful gift, but they are more so.
 
 
@Shylover  
Deserve what?