In my opinion, the people, the world and the bureaucratic authorities would first have to change. If it’s up to me, I wouldn’t have any contact with any other person at all if it couldn’t be totally avoided right now. Maybe apart from your own family and a few friends.
But I was probably born at the wrong time. And yes, I thought differently. But nowadays, mankind only reveals to me its ugly, unfriendly face. And I don’t need that. I’ve had enough trouble shopping these days. That’s why I’m so happy about the Covid masks. I don’t want to show my face or talk to anyone else unless it’s online and/or takes into account basic formal standard questions and answers. But I’m certainly an extreme case, too. I’ve had 40 years of social interaction. Slowly but surely it’s enough for me.
I like other people. I even love my family. But I only wish for as little personal contact as possible. Nowadays, I think everyone could be supplied with drones, we could work at home, and the state would allocate the apartments to us like in Singapore. I don’t want parties, I don’t want a woman who keeps telling me what I have to do or have to do. I just want my peace and quiet, and if it were financially possible for me, I would just keep working on my novel or other stories every day.
I do not want to be misunderstood. Of course, I’d like to meet other people. But then on my terms, and not because I have to have a visa and unbearable checks done on me at the airport. Or because everyone thinks I’m a terrorist just because I want to go to another country.
I hate the current bureaucracy. I hate everything that has to do with it. I hate the letters, the emails, I hate the fact that it’s a legitimate reason for the state to just see me as a taxpayer, without recognizing the individual behind it. I’m scared, not because I’m insecure about myself. I know I’m neither perfect nor omnipotent. But I hate the idea of being just a productive wheel in a machine that only benefits the state on its own.
I have these bad thoughts because everything that happens in the world right now only serves others, but not myself. I am supposed to submit to a system that was built with lies and falsehood, just so that I feel like a part of the semi-secure middle class, which itself is always afraid? I condemn, hate and reject this system from the bottom of my heart.
I would love to be an anarchist, if only there was an alternative green way of life. I've had enough of this life that tries to suggest to me through everyday advertising that maybe everything would be better sometime. I may not have given up hope for humanity. But I have already given up believing that personal freedom can still be experienced between all this lying and deceit.
Nowadays you get a bad reputation just looking at the wrong artwork. All this hate and the false agenda behind it just pisses me off. And I'm sorry if it hurts you to hear me say all this right now. I hope you understand it's nothing personal. I'm just so disappointed in this system. I am deeply disappointed in all mankind.