I will not play games of RISK or Shogun against Celestia or Luna.
I will not play games of Boggle, Scrabble, Clue, or Chess against Twilight.
I will not play Candy Land with Pinkie.
I will not play any game at all against Discord.
I will not introduce any form of energizing or caffeinated beverage to Pinkie.
I will not quote any pop-culture references in earshot of Pinkie or Discord.
I will not ask Celestia about her relationship with Discord and report back what she says to Discord.
I will not ask Discord about his relationship with Celestia and report back what he says to Celestia.
I will not ask Discord about the multiverse.
I will not ask Discord about God.
I will not ask Discord about Q.
I will not ask Discord anything.
I will not speak directly to Discord for any reason.
I will not introduce Cheerilee to Cheerio’s.
I will not introduce Applejack to Applejacks.
I will not introduce Pinkie to any sugar-coated cereal of any kind.
I will not conduct scientific tests with the EoH to see if:
They change or banish any item or being that is even slightly nonconforming with Harmony.
Are a usable source of electricity or any other form of power.
They have any effect on completely good and Harmonized objects or individuals.
I will not use the EoH as a measure for how good individual ponies are.
I will not speculate if crystal element trees can be used for firewood.
I will not use Starswirl’s Destiny-Changing Spell on the princesses.
I will not go back in time to a few days before Luna’s banishment and use Starswirl’s Destiny-Changing Spell on the princesses.
I will not use any form of manipulation to get ponies (and other species) to pair up in my or general fandom ships.
I will not bribe, blackmail, or manipulate in any other fashion Cadance to pair up others into my or general fandom ships.
I will not convince or coerce Luna into turning the moon into a fully-functional space station with a giant planet-busting laser attached to it.
I will not start a secret villain-support-group and mentor the villains on methods that they could be more successful in their schemes in the future.
I will not ask for an in-depth explanation of the universe from Celestia, Luna, or Twilight. Or Discord I WILL NOT ASK DISCORD ANYTHING EVER EVER EVER.
I will not show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to anyone and claim (if the events are entirely factual) that Earth has been spying on ponies for a very long time.
I will not call Celestia, Luna, Cadance, or Twilight “Sunbutt,” “Moonbutt,” “Heartbutt,” or “Starbutt” respectively to their faces.
I will not call any pony by a shorthand of their cutiemark, followed by “butt”.
I will not make a ridiculously long series of comics with Discord and/or Anon doing each and every one of these points that we all have said we will not do.