My Little Pony No-No's

@Ore-O  

 
But I will get her a Harley Quinn costume.
 
I will not use a love potion on Big Mac and A picture of the other pony on a fishing rod to create a unstoppable form of transport.
 
I will not chew on every pony to figure out what flavour they are

I will not give Scootaloo a red bull.

I will not tell Rarity that the new shampoo she loves is made with bird poop.

I will not tell Sweetie belle that unicorns shed their horns.

I will not have a NUMBER SIX WITH CURLY FRIES AND AN OREO COOKIE SHAKE!

I will not try to convince the CMC that ponies reproduce via Budding  
-Unless it is true, then I can’t suggest Mitosis
 
I will not try to introduce Discord to the Auditors of Reality
 
I will not ask discord if he’s still mad the other Four Horsemen kicked him out of the group
 
I will not convince Luna to re-enact the imperishable night
 
I will not argue with Luna that the moon is made of cheese and America now owns it due to the Lunar landing  
-Also not allowed to invade the moon to fix the world cheese crisis
 
I will not piss into the vats at the Rainbow factory  
-I will also not shove ponies into the vats to see what’d happen  
-Any other bodily fluids are obviously not allowed either
 
I will not attempt to summon Mara. I just won’t. No, don’t google that.

@Thegug  
WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN?!
 
Actually introducing Discord to the Auditors sounds like might make for a really good fic.

I will not pour red bull in the punch bowl.

I will not steal Twilight’s spells in order to make fetish magic. That’s Celestia’s job.

I will not mix laxatives into Flutterhy’s bird food.

I will not stuff my limbs…“into” ponies to turn into a Human-Pony Voltron

@Thegug  
I have to ask out of perverse fascination, who would form the head?

Twilights scalp and ‘big crowny thing’

@gasmaskangel  
Depending on how far you wanna take it… gummy swallowing yours

I will not tell Fluttershy that a recent ordinance requires all pets to be spayed or neutered by their owners, personally.  
If I manage to actually befriend anypony, I will not keep dropping hints about all the “benefits” of friendship in the human world.  
I will not hide stuff in Pinkie Pie’s mane.  
I will not claim the my name is Cunty McShitballs just because I want to hear ponies swear.  
I will not claim that singing “Sit on my face and tell me that you love me” outside of Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, or Princess Celestia’s windows at three AM is a sacred human religious obligation.  
I will not abuse the spontaneously musical nature of Equestria to get ponies to sing the really dark Oingo Boingo songs.  
I will not claim that “fuck off and die” is just how humans greet every body.  
I will not start conversations with “so, are you legal?”  
I will not start conversations with “are you holding?” either.  
And I definitely will not start conversations with “wanna fuck?”  
I will not build a still on anypony’s property without express written permission.  
-This permission does not count if I got them drunk first.  
I will not tattoo anything on anypony.

@gasmaskangel  
“Ey girl, want sum fuk?”

I will not give Sweetie Belle espresso.

I will not excuse any of my actions with “Its a form of human modern art”
 
I will not tell Octavia that the way humans play a cello, the correct way, is with their tongue
 
I will not rub my bottom on Octavia’s cello unless its some elaborate suicide.
 
I will not replace Vinyl’s…. vinyls with German and British comedy songs.  
-Especially before her sets
 
I will not attempt to breed a manticore via forced mating of a scorpion, lion and bat  
-Not allowed to new breed Manticores through forced mating of any kind
 
I will not kill Bon bon to recreate the story of Orpheus with Lyra.
 
I will not attempt to gain “Discord-sempai’s” attention by throwing an apple with “Only to the fairest” into a wedding
 
If my plan, when explained to Discord, stuns him into silence, I will not take it as a reason to go through with it
 
I will not crush Gilda with a door so I can go “50 points for Gryffindor”!
 
Just because I am technically a primate, I will not throw my feces as an expression of anything
 
I will not tell admirers that Princess Luna only accepts vows of marriage after completion of five impossible tasks.

@Thegug  

 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOiCj8wX7KA#t=127

@Solitude  
That was a good find

I will not ask Luna’s batpony guard where the robinponies are.

I will not send Twilight a fake Royal Birth Announcement ‘from’ Shining and Cadence.

I will not send Pinkie plans for a trampoline made from jell-o

I will not ‘accidently’ switch hat Rarity ordered with edible panties.
 
I will not give the Pink One a can of whipped cream.

I will not convince the CMC to retry some of their past attempts because “maybe they were unlucky”  
-All at the same time
 
I will not ask if Discord can “set fire to the rain”
 
I will not ask Discord for some tentacle seeds “to liven up the bedroom”
 
I will refrain from any innuendo in the presence of Pinkie or Discord