My Little Pony No-No's

I will not enact the ministry of silly walks and claim that that is how we normally walk
 
I will not stick a flag on Luna claiming it in the name of Earth
 
I will not mount(mind outta the gutter, guys) Celestia to be the “first person on the sun”
 
I will not test to see if Celestia is fire proof
 
I will not “moon” Luna
 
I will not keep saying “Oh no, I’m turning into a werewolf!” everytime I see Luna’s flank
 
I will not attempt to get Chrysalis to fall in love with her reflection to see if she can feed herself
 
I will not ask Chrysalis if masturbation is auto-cannibalism for Changelings

I will not suggest to Chysalis that the should changelings open a brothel.
 
I will not send Twilight a royal proclamation telling her she has to get laid.
 
I will not dump 1000 bouquets with poison joke in them over Canterlot
 
I will not try to breed AJ’s dog and Rarity’s cat- to each other.

I will not tell Twilight what the human world thinks of her new wings in order to see her go insanely paranoid

oops wrong topic

I ill not set Spike on a date with Cassie.

@Shadow Star  

 
I will not set Spike up on a date with Ember or Cynder

I will not photocopy my plot and staple copies up all over town.

I will not send Derpy or Pinkie nuclear weapons and say it’s good for parties, getting muffins, or playing pranks.

I will not show Pinkie slasher films and claim they’re examples of human pranks.  
I will not taunt anypony with show inaccurate merch.  
I will not attempt to make merch show accurate by altering the source material, eg, no dying Celestia’s coat pink.  
I will not spend more than ten minutes searching for constellations in Luna’s mane.  
I will not ask Luna if she ever got frisky with any astronauts while stranded on the moon.  
I will not claim that any of Luna’s mannerisms are the result of her really needing to get laid.  
I will not volunteer to “help” Luna with the above problem unless I want to explore the magical world of reconstructive dentistry.  
I will not attempt to introduce any illicit markets that don’t exist in Equestria (such as booze or pornography, dear god I hope those exist in Equestria.)  
I will not ask Rarity to design an outfit for me, and then lie about human fashion just to see how much I can get away with.  
I will not defend any bizarre or immoral behavior on my part by claiming its cultural.  
I will not spike the punch at fancy parties with laxatives just because I’m bored.  
Or for any other reason.  
I will not ask Applejack if she lives up to her name sake, then lick her to see if it gets me drunk, or alternatively to see if she doesn’t taste like Apples.

I will not use a time spell, then go to the moon and to get frisky with Luna.

@gasmaskangel  

 
With regards to booze,I believe word of Faust said that Equestria is under Prohibition… or something. That said, I imagine Equestrian pornography to just be really adorable and not explicit at all.
 

 
I will not drink from the paw print of a diamond dog to see if I turn into a werewolf
 
I will not use the above excuse to disguise my diamond dog foot fetishm
 
I will not show them really strange Japanese pornography and claim that is how we reproduce
 
I will not search explicit material on Derpibooru to use in Cheerilee’s Sexual education class  
-I will not flash the foals and fillies during Sex Ed  
-In fact, I will not convince cheerilees to let me teach Sex Ed  
-In fact, I will not come within 3km of Cheerilee’s school
 
I will not use a sex change spell on Big Mac unless I want to be murdered by the entire female population(of both worlds)  
-With Braeburn, it’d make no difference
 
I will not look Celestia and Luna in the mouth to guess their age unless I’m not particularly attached to my fingers
 
I will not attempt to get my hand on gingers for any reason whatsoever

I will not show any pony Jersey Shore and say that’s how all humans behave.

I will not create and sell ‘Go Team Evil’ shirts in Ponyville.

I will not wear my ‘Go Meat’ shirt to a Canterlot dinner party

Backfire edition
 
I will not walk around in a fursuit in an attempt to “blend in with the natives”  
-especially if it isn’t one of a horse  
-if it works, well, we can make guesses to their intelligence.
 
I will not attempt to drink a pony under the table. Horses have high tolerance for alcohol, blue-eyes. Hope you brought a stomach pump.
 
I will not try and convince ponies that some weird food is human cuisine. Not because it’s a lie, humans will eat anything. Its because then ponies will offer nothing but, in order to make you comfortable.

@Thegug  
I’m not sure about ponies holding their liquor better than us, body mass is a big factor in getting good and snockered, and we might well be big enough to drink them under the table.

@gasmaskangel  
Hmm, that might be true. Not being an expert in equestrian intoxication, that was mostly hearsay.  
That said, if the pony you’re trying to outdrink’s name is Berry Punch.  
Have ambulance on call.

I will not write fanfictions.
 
Ever.

I will not attempt to take over Equestria with modern human weaponry  
-I will not convince America to come on board by saying there are unused reserves of oil  
-Neither will I tell the Uk there are reserves of Tea

I will not watch Fluttershy as she sleeps, alone, isolated and extremely vulnerable in her cottage in the woods, nope sir-e.

I will not go America on everyone’s asses

I will not tell Fluttershy the truth about her new ‘save the boobies’ shirt

If they don’t already, I will not inform the Griffin Kingdom that in our world, they were known for eating horse

I will not use the phrase  
“I LIKE this chick! She’s almost as crazy as I am!”

@Shadow Star  
If there is an Equestria version of PeTA, I will not get Gilda to eat meat in front of them. Slowly and noisily.  
I will not use Big Macintosh as a meat shield in case of food fights.  
I will not show Pinkie the Joker and say that is a professional comedian.