Crazy Headcanons

Angel is a changeling who saps Fluttershy’s huge supply of love.

@PonyPon  

 
To add, they are very good at not being seen.  
But every now and again, the Watchers find themselves….watched.

@PonyPon  

 
And then the Angel taught Fluttershy how to do “The Stare”, right? Well, that’s my headcanon, and I’m sticking to it.

@YetAnotherBrony  
You should. It’s a good one.
 
Few more before bed:  
-Celestia was an simple earth pony who grew the most wonderful, tallest sunflowers in Equestria. She suffers from a very rare gigantism defect that has absolutely nothing to do with her alicorny-ness. She misses the days when she was just the tall mare who grew the tall flowers.  
-Gilda tracked down Rd because she was sure she was The One, which is a very big deal in griffin culture. They’re like an entire race of Ted Mosbys.  
-Time Turner was an actor in Equestria’s version of Doctor Who.  
-Scootaloo’s dad was a guard who went MIA, but his wife, Screwloose, set out to find him. What she found literally drove her mad.

@PonyPon  

 
Adding to this, the only reason that they haven’t escaped yet is because that would require leaving some of their number behind.

@PonyPon
 
-Screwball doesn’t exist. She’s just Twilight’s imaginary friend when she was little who became real when Discord came. When he was defeated, Screwball is just a few of Discord’s powers that kept on existing.  
-Celestia actually hates cake. She eats it to reduce depression only.  
-Before dying, Startswirl the Bearded cast a spell that ripped his soul into 7 pieces and gave it to 7 other ponies. The ponies who received his soul gained some of his personality and skills. The souls kept on jumping from one body to another after the death of the previous bearer.  
-Though the Mane 6 can use the Elements of Harmony, those relics can be taken away from its bearer: either willingly of forcibly. It then can be given to someone else to use.  
-Fluttershy’s dead was a famous wrestler. When he was killed by a thug, Fluttershy used her skills to beat up the thug.

@HJSDGCE  
So… Starswirl is the pony equivalent of Voldemort? Flutttershy is pony Spiderman?  
… I am fine with this. No, I am more than fine with this. This headcanon is FREAKING AWESOME.

Cadence is Equestria’s greatest warrior.

Iron Will used to be a door to door salesman until he injured somepony.
 
Rainbow Dash’s Dad worked in the rainbow factory and fell in the rainbow. thus making his mane and tail of the rainbow and somehow became Rainbow’s mane and tail when her dad worked in the Rainbow Factory he accidentally put her in the machine.

Filthy Rich, Iron Will, Ms. Cheerilee and Vinyl Scratch have all done time.
 
9 years before the events of FiM, there was a war between Equestria and Gryphonia. The ponies had a slight prevalence due to their magic, but the griffons were technologically more advanced. Many young stallions were recruited by Celestia to fight against Gryphonia, including the fathers of the Mane 6, who all coincidentally were in the same batallion, led by Clyde Pie. Applejack’s father, Boskop, tragically lost his life in combat, but not before slaying five griffons with his bare hooves.  
Finally, the griffon army lost due to the ponies’ magical advantage.  
To this day, large amounts of the griffon population are very racist towards unicorns.
 
@igotnopicks  
The rainbow waste altered his genetic code to turn him into a pony-rainbow-hybrid. That’s why he was able to pass this genetic trait on to Rainbow Dash.  
It’s also the reason why RD’s able to do the Sonic Rainboom.

Rainbow Dash is the last survivor of a once powerful Pegasus clan, the Spectrum Clan. They themselves were the descendant of a Pegasus Queen who rule the pegasus race before Hurricane.

-Trixe has a proficiency in magical items that actually made her resistant to the Amulet’s corruption. Had another pony wore it as long as her, they would be training a militia of wolverines to combat the forces of the jellybean kingdom.  
-Luna was born a Pegasus that had a strong affinity for night flying. Back when the idea was suicide.  
-Pony heaven is referred to as, “The Eternal Fields”.

@PonyPon  

 
That sounds nice, thought I remember one fanfic long ago calling “pony heaven” the Summer Fields. Though maybe they should be called the Elysian Fields. I mean, we already have a Tartarus, so it’d only make sense to include its counterpart, right?
 
And this leads right to my next headcanon: the Isles of the Blessed, the birthplace of Celestia and Luna.
 
And I also like the idea that Trixie is just as skilled in magic as Twilight, just in a totally different way/form. Twilight has literally spent the first, what, 16-17 years of her life in Canterlot, namely, the libraries in Canterlot. She may be well-read and very intelligent, but Trixie has been all over the nation, maybe even the world. Trixie may not have the book-smarts that Twilight has, but she certainly has much more “street-smarts”, even if it was clouded by revenge and jealousy that led her to buying and wearing the Alicorn Amulet in the first place.

Twilight Sparkle has some slight PTSD about Sombra’s neverending staircase. whenever she thinks of The Crystal Empire event or the palace one the first things she remembers is “those fucking stairs”

Equestria is indeed built on the bones of human civilization. It’s why they have so many things that make no sense for a race of quadropeds. But what killed the humans then? Good question! It was Cthulhu.
 
Eons ago the stars came right and the old ones returned. Humanity fought back and managed to cripple the old ones, but in the end we were destroyed. There weren’t enough people left for a sustainable breeding pool, and the earth itself was left a broken wasteland.
 
Some of the last few remaining humans, those who knew magic and were relatively sane, those who knew the workings of genetic engineering, and those who had best been able to fight back against the infinite darkness from beyond came together and began a program to create new races, the children of humanity, who would not only one day inhabit the world when the time came that the planet was livable again, but would be able to keep it.
 
In time, these creations were released into the world, humanity having long since passed into extinction, and the old ones saw them from their prisons and hated. They raged against ponies, griphons, and the other creatures born of our imperfect science and stolen magic, but they were powerless to destroy them directly till the stars came right again. But they could send their influence against the new races.
 
They shattered the eco system, severing the sun and moon from their orbit, but the ponies adapted. They created the wendigos, but again the ponies adapted, then in a masterstroke they created Discord, who nearly saw the old ones goal of a premature return completed.
 
Then the unthinkable happened. To ponies were born with the power of the old ones, but no loyalty to them. The two sisters over threw Discord by wielding the elements of harmony against him.
 
The old ones tried again and again to reclaim the world, to stamp out humanities final insult. They granted power to Sombra, only for him to fall, they managed even to enthrall the heart and soul of Princess Luna, but Celestia was able to banish her.
 
And so they waited.
 
Then the stars came right again, and Nightmare Moon, their herald, the one who would prepare the world for their return was unleashed, only to be beaten, and worse cleansed of the old one’s taint.
 
Now Celestia is moving to bolster her power, grabbing every weapon available to her. That is why she had Discord reformed, made Twilight an Alicorn, and ensured that the Crystal Empire was restored to its former glory.
 
Make no mistake, soon the old ones will return to Equestria. Now they swim through gulfs of space, and stir in subterranean tombs and the question that remains to be answered is can the ponies stand where their creators fell?
 
Oh, and the changelings are creations of the Mi Goh. They made them in order to neutralize earths new population so they can resume mining operations, the Diamond Dogs having decided that the fungi from Yuggoth are actually quite tasty and hunting down their mining parties anytime they land on earth.

@gasmaskangel  
That’s nice.
 
Anyway:  
-Dark magic allows one to weaponize their own tears, like in Binding of Isaac.  
-Every pegasus has their own “sonic rainboom”, accessed by their own specific speed and possessing their own effects.  
-Peachbottom owns a large flock of free range chickens, protected by her rather skittish pet cockatrice.  
-There exists a animate suit of humanoid armor that is diametrically opposed to Discord, who lives to make order. His power can bring a bleak, emotionless blight to the world, and cancels out magic entirely. His “discording” effect looks like reducing ponies their artistic bases and simplifing their cutie marks.  
He currently lives in the heart of Griffin Territory.

Cthulhu is Pinkie’s uncle, and Sue Pie is Shub Niggurath. They just don’t touch Equestria cause they like the place. And cause Cthulhu likes Celestia’s ass.

@Princess♠Molestia  
Pinkie Pie is the physical manifestation of Azathoth.  
You know it makes sense.

@PonyPon  

 
If a dark-magic user drinks chocolate milk, can they charge their shots? If they pluck out and use one of Celestia’s feathers, can they call down beams of sunlight to burn others?
 
Is the suit of armor imprisoned in some way? Discord was imprisoned in stone, which is stiff, brittle, and unyielding. So would this suit be encased in water? A gel of some sort?

The six Elements of Harmony that everyone knows are not the only ones, they’re just the strongest (and most well-known). There are others, like Trixie being the Element of Forgiveness.
 
She’s done some horrible things, and has suffered herself as well. Is she worthy of Ponyville’s forgiveness? Can she find it in her heart to forgive Snips and Snails for ruining her life? (the Ursa Minor smashed her cart, which was probably most of her worldly possessions)

@YetAnotherBrony  
Element of Mercy, Justice, Equality, Courage, Growth, Hatred, Jealousy, Greed, etc.

@Princess♠Molestia  
You forgot Pinkie’s granny Loki. That’s one messed up family tree.

@The_Mungoman  
I don’t know man, Pinkie doesn’t seem stupid enough for Azathoth, and I’ve never seen her playing the flute. Maybe Nyarlathotep.

Twilight has a slight power of future-sight, it is how she knew that Nightmare Moon was that year and she had to stop it.

@YetAnotherBrony  
Good question. Maybe it has its pieces trapped in a never-ending whirlpool, unable to pull itself together? And maybe it should have a feline form, to really get the duality to discord across.