I shouldn't have said some things on the happy venting thread. I shouldn't have made that pessimistic response to Count Adramélekh Sear in that thread. It was wrong. And I really shouldn't do that again. I am completely scared for what these dark times have done to me for over the past 13 months. I'm gonna go take a break after my rage quit of episode 4 from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, cause that one ending scene speaks the truth of how cruel and broken the world has been. I'll be right back. I need to calm down. I never should've done that on the happy venting thread.
I want to commit suicide becuase my brain is has been obsessed with pornography. I have been actually binging it for 11 straight years now and my recent dream is that I fucked my own mother which is deathly wrong in multidimensional ways possibly in my taboo.
@Count Adramélekh Sear No. Dude, committing suicide is not the answer. And besides, and I understand that it sounds wrong, but just remember that it's only just a nightmare. Please understand. You might need to take a break from that stuff for a while. And also, I'm sorry about my pessimistic response back there on the happy venting thread. It was wrong for me to do that.
i dont know im so tired i dont think im a human being anymore i dont know who i am how can i think about whats wrong with me if i dont know who am i thinking about i feel like a stupid and inconvenient illusion that disappears one evening with a minor inconvenience to everyone else
I went for about 22 months without ejaculting once, not counting wet dreams. I also went on a "absolutely no porn on purpose" binge, after a while; it excluded if I was re-directed from a site I didn't want to be re-directed from, though I wouldn't stay at the site. It was difficult to stop jerking off, and most of the difficulty was in the first 6 months. I felt I had to continue. It was because I felt tons of self hate, and large enough thoughts of suicide to be of concern. I went through with it from Jan 2nd 2016 — November something 2017. It can be done.
Here's a link to a thread I participated in, then. I'm "101volts" there: Link.