“Ladies and Gentlemen! You’ve read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature’s mistakes! I give you:
 
The average mare.
 
Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of pony-kind’s importance. Also note the club-hoofed social conscience and the withered optimism.
 
It’s certainly not for the squeamish, is it?
 
Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them… they snap.
 
How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today’s harsh and irrational environment?
 
I’m afraid the sad answer is, “Not very well.”
 
Faced with the inescapable fact that pony-kind’s existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this… any other response would be crazy!”