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Page 1310 - Kirin’s Empire, Part 2
Author: SanneNC
Guest Author’s Note: “Credit to my friend Andrew for coming up with the sock puppet joke during the first session of our campaign.
Granted, his version of the joke didn’t involve getting rid of the emperor first - he was just planning to roll bluff while the emperor was still in the room in order to convince the guards that the sock puppet he was holding was the true emperor, not the guy sitting on the throne. Thankfully he made it as an OOC joke and didn’t go through with it, because I have no idea what I would have done if he did.”
 
Transcript:  
Twilight: You are called to meet the Emperor in the throne room of his winter palace, and as you are shown in you all take note of the luxuriant splendor the emperor surrounds himself with, as befitting the regal kirin presiding over his surroundings from the dais before you.
Twilight: He is sharp, severe, and looking down at you with a stern and impassive gaze.
Twilight: This kirin holds untold political power and influence, and should he deem it, you will not linger long in his presence, and he certainly won’t trust you with the quest he called you here for.
Twilight: So, knowing exactly who you stand in the presence of… what will you do?
AJ: Well, probably not insult him.
RD: Pah, he can’t be that tough, we could take him.
Fluttershy: Oh dear…
PP: Who knows, maybe he’s a level 20 wizard!
Rarity: If he were, I doubt he would call a band of adventurers for help…
Rarity: So maybe some of us “diplomancers” could gain an upper hand in a battle of semantics.
PP: I could roll bluff to replace him with a particularly convincing sock puppet!
Twilight: Uh…
AJ: Well, taking over an empire wouldn’t be the strangest way I’ve started off a campaign…
RD: I can distract him with a few firebals, just say the wods.
Fluttershy: I don’t think we should…
Twilight: Um???
PP: Does anyone have a sock I can borrow?
AJ: Lemme check…
Fluttershy: Guys…
RD: I say we just take him out.
Fluttershy: Um…
Rarity: Who has the highest bluff?
PP: Ooh! Mine’s a +4!
AJ: +3 for me.
AJ: Fluttershy, what’s yours?
Fluttershy: +6?
RD: Just roll initiative already!
PP: Not until my sock puppet is ready?
RD: Really?!
Spike: So how’s it feel being on the other end of the GM screen?
Twilight: You are enjoying this way too much and I hate you for it.

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redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
that’s the point where you start generating armies of high level npcs on the spot and just keep escalating it until the players are all dead, or captured and executed, and dead.
 
then you ask if they want to try again.
 
there’s departing from the normal campaign, and then there’s suicidal metagaming on the assumption the GM will feel too intimidated by the players to allow their characters to die.
 
though if they really do want to try running an empire, you can always stop the game to start hashing out a totally new one along those lines. they’re supposed to bring that up before the game starts, but if brilliance doesn’t strike them before you introduce the emperor, it’s still doable. they have to be willing to help though, and able to come up with some very good reasons for everything not going horribly wrong, and why they have been granted an audience when there’s no obligation they feel not to just stab him in the face.
 
that being said, “hey look it’s an emperor let’s kill him just because lolrandom” doesn’t really deserve any response other than taking it to its logical, and very lethal conclusion, as dramatically and full of humiliation as possible.
 
I guess ultimately it depends on what kind of group it is, and what they expect from each other. RD really pulled a dick move there though, not caring about twilight’s inexperience or hard work. but that’s why she’s the element of honesty loyalty!