With talon and wing, Gawd directed us into the single passenger car on the train, nestled up against the crippled engine. From the reek of dander inside, this was clearly the house of Gawd. Or, at least, her office.
[…]
The room was spartanly furnished, save for the desk with a glowing terminal and a tattered black flag on the back wall showing wicked talons coming out of darkness. Gawd strutted around behind the desk, placed her talons on it, and faced us. I shook my head, trying to clear the webs of too little sleep when I caught myself musing that she’d look really attractive if she was a little closer to my age and, you know, a pony.
“First things first,” Gawd glowered at the three of us. “Who are you ponies, and who do you work for?”
Calamity bristled. “Ah could ask ya the same thing!”
“Mind yer manners, pegasus! You’re in our territory and in my home. I ask, you answer.”
I put a steadying hoof on Calamity’s flank, indicating that this was okay. Stepping forward, “I’m Littlepip. This is Calamity and Velvet Remedy. We’re just passing through.” We also had an increasingly desperate need for a place to sleep, but I wasn’t going to reveal that, much less suggest we sleep anywhere near here.
“Did Mister Topaz give you permission to cross our territory?”
Something made me suspect a trick question. But before I could formulate a strategic response, Velvet Remedy asked, “Who’s Mister Topaz?”
The grizzled griffin leaned over the desk and locked Velvet Remedy with her one good eye. “Say again?” She stared at Velvet appraisingly.
Velvet Remedy stood up straight. “You asked us about Mister Topaz, somepony I’d never heard of before. I asked you who that was. What’s so difficult about that?”
I had to force myself not to facehoof.
However, Gawd apparently saw something in Velvet that impressed on her that the unicorn was sincere. The griffin sat back, “You really don’t know, do you?” A smile slowly crossed her beak, her scar turning it into something unpleasant. “Well now, isn’t that interesting!” She tapped her talon-tips together as she considered us.
“Well?” Velvet Remedy prompted.
Gawd leaned back, smiling quite a lot now. “Mister Topaz is the lord and master of Shattered Hoof and all territories adjacent.”
Calamity nickered. “Ah call horseapples. This ain’t anywheres close t’ Shattered Hoof Ridge.”
Gawd rolled her eyes. “No. But you are less than half an hour’s flight from Shattered Hoof, the rock-breaking compound, which was named after Shattered Hoof, the battle.”
“Rock-breaking compound.”
Gawd facewinged. “Really? Surely you understand rock-breaking.” She stared at out uncomprehending faces, then sighed. “Sometimes rocks have gems in them. Unless you got a unicorn who can tell you which ones do and which ones don’t, y’have to break them open to see what’s inside. Fer crying out loud, you had to have passed at least one of the rock farms in order to get here.”
Velvet Remedy raised an eyebrow, confused. “How do you farm rocks?”
“Ugh. Easy. You pick a plot of land where rocks have shown a higher likelihood of hiding gems and you farm them!” We were clearly not impressing the griffin with our ignorance. Waving a talon, “Some ponies even used to rotate the rocks around from one field to the other to help improve the chances of gems…”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I blurted, interrupting. It wasn’t like the gems grew in the rocks like seeds, after all. My mind twinged.
Calamity only made it worse by suggesting, “Ah think it’s tradition.”
“Well it’s a stupid tradition,” I argued back. “These are rocks. Gems aren’t magical; a rock isn’t going to be any more likely to have gems in it if you give the rock loving care, or extra sunlight or better dirt to sit on.”
“Well, gems could be magical. Ah mean, how many magical artifacts use gems? Y’need gems t’ build magical energy weapons. They use ‘em t’ focus an’ amplify th’ energies.”
I stared. First, that was way more technical expertise on anything related to the arcane sciences than I ever expected from Calamity. Second, it had never actually occurred to me that gems might be magical.
Gawd sat in front of us, impatiently waiting. After a silent pause, I turned back to her. “I think we’re done now. Please continue.”
Pip, you live in a world where pegasus can manipulate weather and walk on clouds, unicorns with infinite probabilities to do magic and earth ponies capable to grow trees in a short time…
I like the idea that rocks actually slowly grow due to radiant magic meaning that they can actually be farmed. After all there are magic rocks and you do see some rocks grow cough crystal castle cough so i dont find it to far fetched that it can grow more mundane rocks slower.
Pip, you live in a world where pegasus can manipulate weather and walk on clouds, unicorns with infinite probabilities to do magic and earth ponies capable to grow trees in a short time…