Dem eyes tho.
 
 
_{^{Black cats are the sexiest cats.}}

All I know is, if a black cat tells you something is unlucky, you should probably listen to them. They know bad luck.

“Ah, um, what I mean to say is… that is our Lucky-Luck Gem. It brings lots of great luck to you. All you have to do is keep it in your pocket, rub it maybe, point it at people and say, ‘activate, gem!’ And stuff like that. Guaranteed luck. Trust me.”
 
“But you just said it brought ruin to people.”
 
“Yes.Yes I did say that. But I made a mistake. The Misfortune Malachite is, uhhh… is right here! In my pocket. In the jacket that I’m wearing which is also invisible. And I’ll hold onto it so you don’t get what’s coming to you. I mean: what you deserve. Gah. I’m bad with words today. Just take the gem, would you?”
 
“… ok. Sounds legit.”

“So why is it in your treasury, instead of dropped into a volcano or something?”
 
“We use it as a trap for greedy fools. We warn them and if they take it anyway they get what they deserve.”
 
“Holy crap, that’s vindictive.”
 
“So do you still want it?”
 
“Oh, hell no.”

But it comes with a free frogurt!

Dang, Malachite is just bad news everywhere.