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safe2192081 edit174454 edited screencap91493 screencap297270 princess celestia113476 alicorn318212 earth pony512233 pegasus504759 pony1622237 unicorn546571 g42047947 the cutie re-mark3554 alternate timeline3795 animated127185 animation error2573 assault rifle1261 axe2163 batgirl291 batman2350 battletoads29 blaster207 bone4449 boombox359 canterlot guards9 charge163 chun li143 crossover73530 crystal war timeline1662 elite21 fantastic four66 gif49295 gremlin18 gremlins38 grunt (mass effect)7 gun20913 halo (series)588 john-1174 joust16 jousting132 katana1290 knight1357 laser1179 mass effect733 master chief167 mind control4835 needler5 overwatch1755 parzival5 planet doom3 radio794 ready player one15 reinforcement1 rifle4973 rocket1077 rocket launcher664 shepard23 shield2749 sho2 skeleton2554 sombra soldier249 spawn70 street fighter673 stripe12 sword14893 the joker649 the oasis5 the thing (marvel)27 tommy gun282 tracer289 weapon41594
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Background Pony #3C26
This picture raises a good question:
 
why none of the users of the Oasis shapeshifted into My Little Pony characters?
 
Think about it…Celestia and Luna’s godess-like power, Pinkie’s Toon Force, Fluttershy’s control over animals, Rainbow dash’s speed, Big Mac’s strength, Spike’s fire breath, they would have been useful in the battle against IOI.
 
Did Hasbro ask for too much money?
redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
@Havock
 
you act like books don’t have seventeen eyes, nor a whole array of melifluous unctuous palpitaters. books are highly important pseudocrustaceans, not to be trifled with or belittled!
redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
I couldn’t possibly criticize this masterful work of literature. it’s not like the protagonist is literal trailer trash complete with abusive family living together in a shack. it’s not like he’s made out to be the good guy, when he’s doing nothing but breaking into computers and exploiting them for his own gain. and it’s not like the evil corporations legitimately own any of the systems he’s sabatoging. the book might have actually be promoting international terrorism, if the protagonist found a secret vulnerability some early pioneer software developer snuck into everything, then used it to screw everyone in the world over except for himself, for no reason other than trying to impress a hot girl. but thank goodness none of that happens.
 
no, instead the protagonist is a well paid software engineer who’s out of touch with his struggling family ever since he moved out and got a job. with his esteemed work on maintaining the world’s massive supercomputers, he discovers a secret vulnerability has been planted in the global online virtual world that everyone uses these days for all their computer needs. there’s an epic power struggle going on in the shadows, in which many factions fight to win this secret key to everything, and the protagonist discovers that the higher ups of his own corporation intend to use him to find it so they can rob billions by using their control to inflate the currency, throwing the rest of the world into an economic depression. and the triumphant conclusion is where he alone gains the power to control the entire system over the whole world, immediately patches the vulnerability, and leaves everyone standing flat footed who were trying to gain access to it. he and his team are later seen working in computer security, where in virtual martial arts cinematic fashion, they protect the world’s precious computers everyone depends on from being taken over or sabatoged.
 
yep, that’s pretty much exactly how the book goes, sure as the sky is green here on our planet zorklthwap. maybe in a strange alternate universe populated by hairless apes, the book would be unimaginably awful, but here in dimension x71.338.45b I’d bet my third tentacle eye that any of us cnidnarins would enjoy giving it a read.
Background Pony #5BFB
@Background Pony #C5D9
Well, no, I’m afraid that I am quite unwilling to read all the way through an objectively bad, mechanically incompetent book to meet the literary criticism standards of a sealioning rando on a cartoon horse image booru.
You know, it’s not like I’m asking you to like the book or anything. You are more than welcome to have an opinion on it. I just think that if you’re going to start throwing out “objectively bad” as a critique, you should actually have engaged the material beyond glancing at a snippet or two of text.
 
I mean I’ve seen enough comments from you in other places to suspect there are a number of topics you wouldn’t let me get away with treating my own personal opinion as fact on. I don’t think it’s asking too much that you extend me a little of the same courtesy.
Background Pony #5BFB
Because I’ve read excerpts
Well with all due respect, I don’t think it’s fair to judge a book on the basis of a few small sections taken from it at random. I’d have understood if you had made an effort to actually read it in its entirety, concluded you didn’t like it for whatever reason, and left it unfinished. But to read parts of the story with no context or connection to the larger narrative and declare that the entire book must be bad based solely on that? It really makes it difficult to take your denouncement seriously, especially as someone who actually read the entire book.
 
 
@TexasUberAlles  
it reads like it was written in a junior high restroom while ducking out on a pep rally. It’s pathetic, incompetently written, self-insert mary sue garbage made by an incel creeper who apparently thinks empty pop culture references are the very height of literary wit.
I don’t know what passage you read, but that is not what I got from this story at all.
 
 
@TexasUberAlles  
What are you looking for here?
A cogent argument? Informed explanations of the problems you see it as having and why you think they are so problematic? You made an absolute statement that the book was bad… not that you thought it was bad or that you didn’t like it, but basically that it is 100% objectively terrible. And I wanted to know whether there was more to that than opinion.
Background Pony #4363
@TexasUberAlles  
I agree with everything you said. Are some parts of the book really incel-ish? I also don’t get how with just pop-culture references they have made this average looking movie.
TexasUberAlles
Duck - If report count was a score, he'd have the biggest score
Pixel Perfection - I still call her Lightning Bolt
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Lunar Supporter - Helped forge New Lunar Republic's freedom in the face of the Solar Empire's oppressive tyrannical regime (April Fools 2023).
Roseluck - Had their OC in the 2023 Derpibooru Collab.
Flower Trio - Helped others get their OC into the 2023 Derpibooru Collab.
King Sombra - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of The Crystal Empire!
A Lovely Nightmare Night - Celebrated the 12th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Princess of Love - Extra special version for those who participated in the Canterlot Wedding 10th anniversary event by contributing art.

@Background Pony #C5D9  
Because I’ve read excerpts and it reads like it was written in a junior high restroom while ducking out on a pep rally. It’s pathetic, incompetently written, self-insert mary sue garbage made by an incel creeper who apparently thinks empty pop culture references are the very height of literary wit.
 
What are you looking for here? It’s an astoundingly shitty book.
Background Pony #5BFB
@Background Pony #70F3
What exactly makes it as bad of a book as you seem to think it is?

Watch the video, it is 100% accurate, with the sole exception of leaving out how staggeringly cringeworthy the entire thing is.
I did watch the video. And 57 seconds of some expressionless guy passive aggressively pointing out that the movie makes a lot of pop culture references is not exactly an argument. In any case, my original question wasn’t even about the movie. I was asking about the book, and whether you have an actual, substantive reason why you think it’s so terribly bad.