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redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
“no.”
 
hell no.”
 
”just friends? just friends? you turn me on. I am physically attracted to you. every time I look at you, I think about fucking you. you’re baking the biggest, tastiest treat in the world, and then saying I can’t have it. but you want me to ignore that, and stick around you anyway, just for your convenience. how about a nice cup of fuck you, you selfish bitch? why would anyone that you treat like a venereal disease want to be friends with you? I’m a package deal. you can’t just rip off my dick and keep the parts of me that don’t inconvenience you. no. just friends? no. you can suck my dick. oh wait no you can’t, because you won’t suck my dick. I’m gonna go find someone who I can fuck, and we’re going to be the best, most awesome friends ever, and you can just stay here by yourself, alone.“
 
and that’s the story of how your father and I got together