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Celestia: I was asked to test these new blends! I swear! And you cant test this much tea without a bit of teacake; itd be blasphemous.

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gorkspewdium

“Nah, what you really need to worry about is the 85 proof Satyrmeistress(C) I’ve been lacing this stuff with. S’all that gets me through those brunches with that Platinum brat’s great-to-the-nth-degree-nieces.”
kleptomage
Pixel Perfection - I still call her Lightning Bolt
Lunar Guardian - Earned a place among the ranks of the most loyal New Lunar Republic soldiers (April Fools 2023).
Magnificent Metadata Maniac - #1 Assistant
Perfect Pony Plot Provider - 10+ uploads with over 350 upvotes or more (Questionable/Explicit)
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012
Fine Arts - Two hundred uploads with a score of over a hundred (Safe/Suggestive)

I need a cup of the brown stuff, the shade of an acorn  
Made warm by the same source that I take my cakes from  
Using a teapot, a mug or fine china  
Been hooked up to IVs, need constant supplies
 
And a drip for my urges might verge on perverted  
But for earthy brown tea, I’m certain it’s worth it!  
With Sherpas who work herds and use a fresh fountain  
I’ve discerned brews from Peruvian mountains
 
I’ve slurped up a cuppa from an elephant’s trunk  
With a couple of monks who utterly stunk  
I’ve had bourbons with sultans and creams with queens  
And I’ve bathed in Earl Grey–I’m really that keen!
 
And missionaries dismiss me for my single epiphany  
The diff between him and me is a simple sip of British tea!  
So when times are hard and life is rough,  
You can stick the kettle on and find me a cup