Before you admit you watch My Little Pony.

But does he have a magic gun?  
Where would he even purchase that?

Punch.  
(Wears a pretty hat.)

Garble-satyr goes to the barber to get a shave. Upon seeing him the barber says: “Buy my girl, you don’t need a shave.”
 
Garble-satyr responds: “I’m a man, and I want to show it!” he demands loudly, stomping his foot, “I want a shave!”
 
The barber was taken back, and rose a curious brow. “Alright then.” he says, gently tapping his foot, “You can see my apprentice, he’s been here only a day but I think he’ll do.”
 
So Garble goes to see the barber’s assistant. He raises a hoof to protest but is cut off before he could say a word, “Shave! Now!” the young dragon-satyr says demandingly. The poor young pony concedes, and invites him to sit down and begins shaving.
 
His magic isn’t steady, nor is he precise. Every chance he can he accidentally knicks the dragon’s cheek. He covers the open wounds with wads of cotton as he works, sweating nervously.
 
By half way Garble-satyr stops him, “What are you doing?” he asks. Half his chin covered in cotton balls.
 
“I-I’m closing your cuts.” the new pony says stuttering.
 
The young dragon seems to consider for a moment. “Keep going, I’ll finally have that full beard.”

NOW YOU’RE A MAN!!! A MAN MAN MAN…

Oh realy?