“Join the Royal Guard, the First Line of defense for Equestria in the face of all kinds of threats and dangers. You will be doing a great service for Princesses and Country.  
Here in the Royal Guard you get to face off with freaks of nature, face countless hazards, tedious desk work, endless hours of guard duty, and possibly die a painfully mediocre death at the hooves of some random creature/villain.  
But besides the point, you get spiffy gold armor, ‘if you’re assigned to Canterlot’, wield outdated spears and bows, parade around in style, and get free donuts from Pony Joe’s, ‘if you’re stationed to Canterlot’, and be remembered as one more of the faceless hordes of guards whom roam continuously across Equestria.
 
So join today, and do Equestria a service, ‘if not a favor’.”

Enlist today!