“God..fucking…shi…HOLD STILL! I can’t get the eyelash out if you keep fidgeting!!”

atouchpen.png

this picture gave me head canon that princess molestia is so aggressive because she has a fear of intimacy, and hides it by going overboard so that nobody else can reach out to her first. she makes people think she’s a monster to get them away from her, and if she ever stopped molesting she’d be terrified whenever someone tried to even touch her. maybe she wasn’t loved as a child and her parents only ever reached out to her to punish her.
 
…doesn’t really make sense what with laurenfaust being her motherfather. just a compelling idea.

Touch.
 
“Don’t touch!”

“Oh come on, ‘Tia! Getting eye drops isn’t that bad!”

@JP  
This is my head canon for this pic. Perfect.

@Gundlach  
Damnit, that’s too funny. But now I’m imagining it’s Micheal and Gavin co-oping it.

Basically what I imagine whats going on is the guy saying “You’re resistance only makes my erection harder!”

If you ever have the need to conquer Equestria you should take a laser pointer with you. Their giant, squid-like eyes are their weakness.

@Background Pony  
Now I have an image that the first pony this guy has met was Lyra and now thinks that all ponies want to be greeted by poking them in the face with his fingers.
 
Darn it Lyra!

Surgeon Simulator 2013 anyone? Anyone? No? The fuck?

Celestia hates wristwatches and ban then in Equestria

On his barenaked back on the hardwood floor of his home, he came to a few stark conclusions:
 
This winged unicorn with the flowing, ethereal mane was real, and her sexual lust for a different male species was definitely real. Her face close to his, he could feel her warm yet inviting fur, smell the intimate feminine aroma from her soft body, and taste her breath. Her appearance was definitely a surprise, as she had more of a human like appearance than that of a horse, with her vaguely human yet sexually alluring eyes.
 
But he then came to the realization he was getting molested by a pony princesses. And he definitely wasn’t into the whole cross-species sex.
 
“Don’t worry. This won’t hurt” she said as she pressed her lips against his.
 
Thinking quickly, he used a tactic he learned from years of watching Navy Seal specials on Discovery: he poked a finger into her eye, forcing her to pull away.
 
“Why, you…”
 
Her horn glowed & he flipped over on his hands & knees…

Lyra finally goes too far!

“Don’t let them touch you! They’re infected with every disease known to mankind!”

Shhh, no more tears now…
 
Only rape.

@The Smiling Pony  
Outside the “Many deal with humans invading ponyworld, or saving them from invasion.” you could replace the “HiE” with just plain Fanfics in general.
 
Turns out you don’t need a Human in the story to ruin things. But they are not helping either.

@Firefanatic  
“I don’t know if I can last that long, Your Higness.”

“You think I’m pretty, I get that; but would you just keep your paws off me for ten seconds?!”

@Huehuebr~  
They are.
 
@TexasUberAlles  
I know. Choose to not care. I believe in you.

@B2C  
I care a lot.

@The Smiling Pony  
>The vast majority are self inserts or crossovers.
 
These are not always bad.

@Background Pony  
Multiple reasons, good sir/madame!
 
The vast majority are self inserts or crossovers.  
Most are very poorly written.  
They make a point to compare our world with the pony world.  
Many deal with humans invading ponyworld, or saving them from invasion.  
Worse, it’s Joe Average Brony suddenly in Ponyville.  
They bring up really bad theories about time travel, alternate universes and the like.
 
In the odd times that I want to read a fic about ponies, I want to read a fic about ponies.

@The Smiling Pony
 
Why do you hate HIE fics so much?

Someone is about to lose a finger.