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Description
Ah yes. Me. My stallion. and his “wife” that doesn’t know I’ve snuck in again
or alternatively:
“Chryssi, her soon to be hubby plus egg incubator and his 400 peetzer muncher”
or alternatively:
“Chryssi, her soon to be hubby plus egg incubator and his 400 peetzer muncher”
Tags
+-SH safe2193299 +-SH artist:jargon scott3158 +-SH princess cadance40437 +-SH queen chrysalis42502 +-SH shining armor28308 +-SH alicorn318486 +-SH changeling66659 +-SH changeling queen24201 +-SH pony1623512 +-SH unicorn547190 +-SH g42048981 +-SH ah yes me my girlfriend and her x82 +-SH ball5607 +-SH bed58772 +-SH bed mane897 +-SH bisexual6794 +-SH cover3768 +-SH female1824047 +-SH glowing eyes15505 +-SH hilarious in hindsight3844 +-SH horn201037 +-SH horn guard432 +-SH horn impalement983 +-SH hornball854 +-SH lesbian118793 +-SH male557707 +-SH meme94446 +-SH polyamory7962 +-SH ponified meme2355 +-SH ship:chrysarmordance272 +-SH shipping256833 +-SH shit eating grin219 +-SH story in the comments1840 +-SH straight181255 +-SH tennis ball1566 +-SH this will end in death3728 +-SH this will end in pain2663 +-SH this will not end well2488
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XD
True.
But it is ironic that the tennis-ball-on-the-horn joke is now canon.
your current filter.Jargon is nowhere near the first person to use the tennis ball
I like this :)
Thank you :)
Holy hell actual bloody ‘lore’
i love it~
Thanks :)
I kinda like writing dialoguem
Holy hell, I wish I could favorite comments. This is really good character writing.
GABBA GABBA HEY! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
XD Thanks!
Oh my god, that’s perfect!
“Just pretend I’m not here.”
“How can we when you won’t go away?”
“Oh. My bad.”
“Is this a villain thing or something?”
“Yes. No. Maybe. Sorry.”
“Are you actually sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Actually, no, I can’t say that I am. Sociopath here, remember? I don’t regret much. Don’t really have the capacity. Hive queens can’t afford to live with regrets, at least up until now. Survival demands and all. Our dams drill it into us from before we even pupate that we can’t trust anyling, not even our own children, just ourselves. No failures, no excuses. We train, we compete. The losers get cannibalized if they fail too often. Can’t afford to let carriers of faulty genes live. The strongest…well, there isn’t a retirement home for aging queens…”
“I didn’t…I didn’t ask, but holy….you killed her?”
“Of course. If I hadn’t, she’d have killed me. She expected it. It’s how we live. Lived, up until recent events, anyway. I’d have expected it from one of my own children eventually. It’s not a bad thing to fall to one of your own successful children. It means you’ve done a good job raising a successor, and that the hive will be in good hands after you’re gone. That’s something to be proud of. That doesn’t mean we have to make it easy for our successors, though. If they fail, they die and eventually we raise another batch of queens, which also winnows down to one or two eventually. The strong survive, the weak and incompetent perish. Rinse and repeat. If two new queens survive, one inherits the hive, the other one leaves to found her own. Or dies fighting the other for control. Same thing, really.”
“Holy Tartarus, 2 AM is not the time for…goddamn, how does anypony LIVE like that?”
“[Shrug] It’s how we do things. It’s how we’ve always done things. Queens have to be strong, decisive, they can’t get close to anyling…anyONE…and they can’t show weakness.”
“I suddenly feel very sorry for you and I fucking hate it.”
“We compete with each other for limited resources…that is, ponies and other creatures who feel love and affection. There can’t be too many hives, because if there are, their depredation begins causing noticeable damage to the prey, but if there aren’t enough, the race as a whole could die out. The system works, even if it seems heartless to you. It keeps us strong and healthy, and it even let you live in peace, more or less. At least up until recently.”
“Aaaand, there my sympathy went. ‘Prey.’ You do know that’s ponies you’re talking about? Dragons? Diamond Dogs? Griffons? Hello? Actual sapient creatures? You know, people?”
“Yes, Cadance, I know exact what they are. And that’s why we’re here talking, trying to figure out a better way to live, because things have to change. And with your aunt’s blessing, I might add. The hives adapt, or they die.”
“You could always do what Thorax and the others did–you know, create what Twilight called ‘an emotional positive feedback loop?’”
“Ha ha, no. ‘day-glo children’s toy’ is not a good look for me. Let’s try something else and see if actual integration is feasible first. Besides, I enjoy the taste of your love far too much to embrace species transmutation except as an absolute last resort. Do you have any idea how much you positively glow when you’re around Shiny? Or eating pizza? Or eating pizza off of Shiny?”
“Hey, that was ONE TIME and it took forever to shampoo the sauce out of our fur.”
“I’ll gladly pay for the spa AND the laundry if you’d do it again. While I watch.”
“You really are a kinky, degenerate old bitch, aren’t you?”
“One hour ago, we were both showing Shiny what two mares get up to when a stallion’s not handy, so I wouldn’t go throwing the word ‘degenerate’ around if I were you. Hey, I’m almost eleven thousand years old, and do you have ANY idea what kind of perversions you discover you’re into when you live that long? I can tell you stories about Celestia and Luna and they’re barely even a quarter of my age. Besides, you’re only 25 and I remember hearing what happened on the night you graduated CSGU and you ‘got your wings,’ so to speak. Single greatest baby-boom in Canterlot in the last hundred years, so the newspapers said…”
“Good fucking God, I must have been completely crazy to agree to this.”
“No doubt. But it was partially your idea, though.”
“Not the ‘impregnate my husband’ part.”
“No, but that’ll be what determines if this scheme of ours is ultimately successful. Besides, what mare hasn’t went through pregnancy and told her stallion she wishes he had to go through exactly what she is? You’ll be the first in history to actually get the chance. Don’t pretend that doesn’t make you just a LITTLE curious.”
“Okay, you’ve got me there.”
“Besides, I’m sure he’ll look stunning when his wings and chitin begin growing in…”
“…what?”
“Heh…the look on your face is absolutely priceless right now.”
“You are joking right now. Right?”
“Hee hee…”
“Tell me you’re–oh, you asshole.”
“Nope. Not gonna tell you.”
“And…WHY IS THERE A TENNIS BALL THERE? WHY IS THERE A TENNIS BALL ON MY HORN???”
“Gotcha.”
“I WILL END YOU!”
Edited
Unless changelings grow to full size in a matter of weeks, there’s a hole in your theory because Thorax took part in the Canterlot invasion as a drone.
ngl I like that theory actually
At least you can admit you have a problem.
And that Thorax is Shining Armor’s son…
And Chrysalis is secretly in love with him…
And disguising herself as Cadence was a ploy to turn him into the changeling king…
I need help.
Cadance : CHRYSALIS!!!, privacy please
Edited