“They actually thought I fucked Phil and was having his kid! It was all over the news! Gal, Phil, even Mother, you should’ve seen ‘em. They were pissed. I’m surprised they didn’t kill me.”
 
“Uh huh. Remind me to add ‘brotherfucker’ to the list of insults I made for you,” Bedlam smirked, snapping her fingers until a long scroll materialized into her paw.
 
“Shut up!” Firefly laughed. “You wouldn’t dare!”
 
“You wanna bet?”
 
“Fuck you!” Firefly suddenly clutched her belly. “Ooh, she just kicked.”
 
“Again?” Bedlam asked. “Hasn’t she kicked like, 50 times in the past hour?”
 
“55,” Firefly corrected. “Oh yeah, she kicks whenever I curse. And whenever I watch Sex and the City. And even when Gal and I are fucking. Weird baby, I tell ya.”
 
“Are you sure she’s not yours?” Bedlam joked.
 
“Yeah, but she might as well be. Not even born yet and she’s already just like her cool Aunt Fly,” she patted her belly proudly. “Oh, speaking of the baby, Hawk and ‘Brosia are letting me name her but I got nothin’. Any ideas?”
 
“Firefly Junior!” Bedlam offered. “Or V.J. Humper, from that stripper movie!”
 
“Fuck no!” Firefly cackled. “‘Brosia would kill me! He and Hawk specifically said I can’t name her after myself, I can’t name her after strippers, and no curse words. A shame, I know.”
 
“What a bunch of downers!” Bedlam gave an exaggerated groan. “Okay, how about Bedlam Junior? You can’t name her after yourself, but you can name her after your favorite bestie~”
 
“I could,” Firefly pondered. “But they also wanted a changeling name. Like something related to bugs and shit. I’ve been trying to think of something for ages but I still got nothin’.”
 
“Why not both?” Bedlam asked. “Name her after me but also make it about bugs. Something like Bedlam Bug. Or…Bedbug!”
 
“Bedbug! Yeah!” Firefly exclaimed. “Girl, you’re a goddamn genius!”
 
“I get that a lot,” the draconequus nodded pridefully. “You’re welcome.” She held out her paw for a fistbump.
 
Firefly hoofbumped her back. “Alright! Bedbug it is!”