“D-do I really have to do this again?”
 
”Come on, Dad! You’ll like this one!” Amethyst Glow nudged her father into the entrance of the Hay Burger, her siblings close behind. “At least we’re not at one of those boring, fancy restaurants!”
 
Royal Splendor gulped. He really didn’t want to go through with this. What would she think of him, going out on dates like this? What if it turned out like last time? Besides, he and his children were just fine on their own…right?
 
”Dad, I promise this won’t be like last time,” Airbrush patted him with a comforting hoof. “This mare is different. I hear she’s a lot of fun!”
 
Fun…right. Roy reluctantly entered the building and let the waitress lead him to his reserved table. As Color Palette fussed over making sure he was neat and tidy, Mozart gave him a look like he wasn’t very supportive of this idea either. At least someone knew how he felt.
 
“She’s here!” Looking out the window, Amy gestured frantically to her siblings. Just like that, the four foals zipped out the back door and into a bush right near the window, where they had a perfect view of their father. With nothing to do but wait, Roy fiddled with his hooves and glanced around awkwardly.
 
BANG! Roy nearly jumped out of his skin as a pony stomped in and said in a deep, booming voice, “Howdy! Is there a ‘Royal Splendor’ ‘round these parts?”
 
“H-here!” Roy squeaked out, awkwardly waving at the pony. As she approached him, he felt his nerves tie into a knot. She was tall, maybe even more so than him, and looked like she could crush a watermelon with one hoof. Was she even a she? He wasn’t quite sure. She looked nothing like how his kids described her…
 
Sitting down heavily, the mare hacked and spat a slimy ball of saliva into her hoof. She held it out to Roy. “Spittoon Spur! How ya doing?”
 
Roy grinned awkwardly, trying to be cordial while avoiding touching her grossly-soaked hoof. This was going to be a long date…
 
%%%%~
 
”You picked HER?”
 
“Trust me, Mozart, it’ll work! We just gotta give them time!” Amy tried to quell her brother as she continued to watch her father and his date.
 
”You couldn’t have picked someone who’s a LITTLE BIT like Mom? Or at least someone he has something in common with? Look at him, Amy. He’s not having fun.”
 
“We did try that. Don’t you remember?” Airbrush piped in. “He cried for an hour after the last date because she laughed and played with her mane just like Mom. It was just too painful for him.”
 
”See?” Amy pointed out. “He needs a breath of fresh air! We’re trying NOT to make him sad!”
 
”Be quiet! I wanna hear this!” Color Palette perched herself on top of her brother, much to his annoyance. The four siblings turned their attention back to their father and listened in…
 
%%%%~
 
”So…” Roy struggled to make conversation. “What’s your special talent?”
 
“SPITTIN’!” Spitoon spit into her mug of beer and took a gulp. “You’re looking at the 20-year champion of the Appleloosa Spittin’ Championship right here!”
 
“That’s…nice!” Roy took a sip of his water, trying to push away the mental image of her saliva. “I…I work for a charity organization. We help ponies in need of just about anything. I started it with…” Roy took a shuddering breath. “W-with my wife.”
 
”You have a wife?” Spur slammed her beer down on the table. “What’re we doing here then?”
 
Roy looked down, a lump forming in his throat. “S-she’s…no longer with us.”
 
”No! He’s getting sad! What do we do?” Amy poked her head out of the bushes in fear, watching her father on the verge of tears. Her siblings looked on in deep concern as well.
 
”Oh…uh, sorry about that.” Spittoon cleared her throat awkwardly. “Those your kids out there?” She tilted her head towards the window.
 
Roy could only nod and utter in a shaking voice, “I-it’s been 10 years…”
 
”That’s mighty unfortunate, but…you’re still mournin’ her? After all this time? That’s what it looks like if your kids are arranging dates for you. You need ta buck up a little.”
 
”B-buck up?” Roy was surprised. Nopony had ever been this direct with him in his life.
 
”Yeah! Ya gotta get back in the saddle! You think your kids want a dad who cries at the drop of a hat and orders water at the bar? Hay no!” Spittoon slammed a hoof down on the table. “You think I cried like a schoolfilly every time I lost a spittin’ contest?”
 
”You said you never los-“
 
”Hay no! I wasn’t a wuss! Sometimes ya just gotta stallion up and move on!”
 
Roy reeled back in surprise. She was right…he really did need to stallion up. He thought of his kids rushing to comfort him every time he broke down, and realized they shouldn’t have to do that. He couldn’t live life in mourning forever. Paint would want him to move on. “I…I understand.”
 
”Don’t ya give me any of that stuttering. Tell me you really heard me.”
 
”I do! I understand!”
 
”There ya go!” She waved over the waitress to pay the bill. “Now promise me you’ll stop moping around so much.”
 
”I’ll try.” Roy nodded weakly.
 
“Attaboy! Shake on it!” Once again, Spittoon hacked and spat on her hoof.
 
Roy looked at the slimy glob on her hoof in horror, resisting the urge to gag. “T-thank you, but I’d rather not touch that…”
 
Spittoon just laughed, slapping Roy on the back with her spit-soaked hoof. “Fair enough, city boy! Now get goin’ ya sweet thang!”
 
Roy said his goodbyes to Spittoon and left to retrieve his children and go home. He had a lot to think about…
 
%%%%~
 
”How do you think the date went? Dad was really quiet after he left.” Airbrush commented. She and her siblings were gathered in Amy’s room, reflecting on the events of the day.
 
”I don’t know, but she was gross!” Color Palette turned her nose up. “I wanted to throw up seeing her spit like that!”
 
”That’s why I said we should find someone Dad can relate to!” Mozart added.
 
”I liked her,” Amy smiled optimistically. “But I agree Dad needs someone nicer. Did you see that mare yelling at him? I think I know exactly who we’re setting him up with next…”
 
Amy’s siblings surrounded her as they looked down at a picture of a familiar gray pegasus mare…