@Background Pony #299C
 
I wonder.

@BarryFromMars  
That’s so sweet, but will they ever marry?

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
I found the pieces I was talking about.
 

 

 
I’ve no idea if… Oh, Ponevangilist. Ehehe. :)

@BarryFromMars  
I can’t find any typos at all, and you’re welcome for my patience. I wonder if the one who gave the Bible to Berry Punch was a Ponevangelist? ;-)

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
First, thank you.
 
I may have given off the impression that nightmares were happening more often than the were though. In August 2012 as I mentioned before that stopped a great deal, I walked into a Church on my own accord with great difficulty then. Funny thing is there was a Berry Punch image that showed up a few weeks earlier of her emptying a bottle with a smile on her face.
 
And no, first off let’s start saying I was born by C-section because I was tangled so everything since I was born has that in its past and it’s not like I dwell on it and maybe it doesn’t mean as much as I may think it does. Sometimes I did feel absurdly alone after my Xbox Live days where I was genuinely uncaring and abrasive to anyone who was the same way to me. I felt like my life was going nowhere so I eventually stopped although it wasn’t all at once, when I got my driver permit in 2011 I was getting extremely bored of many video games. It’s not like there’s a lot there of any significant meaning with a lot of games to me, like making pudding or going on bike trails is more fun than that and not near as harrowing.
 
Oh BTW, guess what? I recall an image of a Pony giving a Bible to Berry Punch. Hah. I trusted Jesus to help me out in 2012 and the more I listen the better it gets. I used to worry a lot even after I started attending the local Church but eventually stopped. Thank you for your patience as well.
 
I may come back to this to post more, the thing is I’m tired now. I’m typing but maybe I made typos more often than I realize too.

@BarryFromMars  
Well let me tell you something. I’m the one who posted almost all the Background Pony comments on your drawings. I’m glad to hear that the nightmares have been fading a bit. Well, you know, I’ve been praying for you almost all the time since you started telling me about your nightmares and some of your other problems. I try to do it as often as I can. (I know your name since I saw your DA account). As you talked to me, I wondered if you thought nobody truly, genuinely cared about you in the world, and thought that I would do the best I could to make you feel like someone did care by encouraging you in your artwork, and talking to you sometimes. I really do pray for you often, you know, and I hope God richly blesses you one day. And about my depression, that’s how I used to think. It was when I realized that God truly cared about me, no matter how dejected I was, that all the depression went away, and I became very joyful. I wanted to share with you 1 John 4:18, which really helped me in that season “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” So you can know that in your worst moments, someone you didn’t even know was praying for you, about a year and a half now, and I still pray for you now. So if you feel like nobody cares, Turn to Jesus. You are precious in his sight.

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
Well it’s not “Constantly” (they’ve not been happening much lately) but plaguing is an accurate way to describe when they did happen years ago. I did too dwell on negatives a lot which is why I had a rough time starting my drawing even when I did draw what may have looked perfectly fine. I was still drawing notes like “AGH HELP ME” or even in 2010 or 2011 “GO TO BED EARLY YOU SCHMUCK” (negative reinforcement, if that’s what it’s called, didn’t help) but outside of listening to Joy Division (“Dead Souls”, “Novelty”, “Shadowplay”, etc) I’m not reminded a lot of nightmares a lot. Even if I do listen to J.D. (or Seasick Steve for example, “Back In The Doghouse” etc) it helps, perhaps weird to think but it does because I”m not searching for destruction there but am just thinking “Man I feel crummy here and somehow I’m not feeling so bad…” I can’t say it’s fear with me unless I had a strenuous nightmare; depression did set in sometimes and most recently did a few hours before you posted that.
 
I have to admit here as cliche as it may sound I did find help in Christian teachings which is why Berry Punch lost appeal as a drunkard being my favorite pony. I don’t think my parents were the best of help with Christian teachings but maybe I wasn’t receptive either?
 
BTW, sometimes in my experience listening to other peoples’ judgments of me didn’t lead to the best thing. Sometimes their judgments may have been correct while I read them wrong or they were incorrect and I believed them anyway. Of course, there still could be the time when it’s correct and I realized it which is fine… But if there’s a comment like “He’s always doing things on the wrong day” and I don’t have other time to do it when else am I supposed to do anything? The part on the car had to be re-attached or it would fall off.
 
With you it sounds to me like you’ve been going through some sort of identity conflict like you were fine as a kid and started believing something else contrary to what was alright later on. Disassociate with the latter, I’d say.

@BarryFromMars  
Hm, you know, I think you think a lot like I do. I know how your nightmares have constantly been plaguing you, so you probably dwell on them longer than you should. And when you hear something or see something that reminds you of them, it makes you think “Wow, that’s exactly what I’m thinking of.” And it makes you feel like you’re closer to dealing with the pain of it, but it also makes it a little harder to deal with simultaneously. And when you see a good hero character facing something similar, it helps even more. It makes you feel less lost, and a bit more centered. Because I used to do things like that. Like when I’d hear a song from when I was a young child, I would think “Wow, that makes me so relaxed, it’s exactly like me.” So I’d be happy, but at the same time it would make me sad thinking “But I’ll never feel that way again.” But only with you it’s worse, because instead of depression like with me, it’s fear. Right?
 
@BarryFromMars  
And I was wondering what that picture was about BTW.

@BarryFromMars
 
There are a lot of Joy Division songs which fit incredibly well with Background Pony. Because of my fascination of connections between one Joy Division song and Background Pony (with my particular interpretation of the song) I drew this:
 
>>760870

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
On some accounts yes though I’m not 100% certain in regards to the entire B.P. fanfic though without spoiling it she was pretty amazing considering circumstances in that fic though at the same time the circumstances weren’t “normal” either and it echoes similarities out of my own past nightmares. I may be the only one holding such a view of her while and after reading that fic. THAT FIC, UUUGH. It’s such a mess and she has such a beautiful heart in it ultimately. I also have a pendant like her cutie mark (I don’t think this is a pic of mine):
 
>>732561p (deleted)

@BarryFromMars  
So is Lyra still the one for you, maybe?

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
I’d regard her as already taken. Canonical or not doesn’t matter to me as much, my interest in Lyra was due to a fanfic.

Hm, good point, wouldn’t want that. So maybe Brownie Bun’s a better match for you. You draw her a lot, and who can resist this. Which you yourself uploaded.  
 
Though she’s not canon, and maybe she’s taken?

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
I can’t say yes exactly (I don’t think it would be the best for me to get together with a drunk or imagine it either unless she changes shortly later) though I wouldn’t mind drawing her not as a drunk. Berry Punch has had little characterization otherwise, “drunk” is the major choice for her in the fandom as of 2016 (and it was even in 2011) and though there are hints in the show towards it (the one in the “Do Princesses Dream…” episode where she lets go of her light, balloon head is possibly a reference to it ) she does have a few images where she’s a wine-maker and/or taster. There’s also the grape stomping in one episode with Cherry Berry who may be related.

@BarryFromMars  
Do you still pine for her, Barry?

@Background Pony #0BD3
 
The conversation in the Derpy image did have some bearing on it. I started drawing it on the 12th or 13th, right after the conversation started.

Did you draw this cause you started thinking about her because of my comments on you possibly having a crush on her before?