Back from oblivion after many months..Actually back from a REALLY deep depression that lasted several months and everything is still meaningless but at least I can talk now
Still a random russian person, wishing for this hell to be over with.
There is no point of hiding your attitude towards the war from government and police if we’re at risk of going out in nuke blast next morning…
I hate this. Being born here and living with hate towards this country for whole life and having absolutely no way to leave this place, flee somewhere more civil.
Citizens are either brain dead because of the propaganda, or too afraid to step up for themselves during all of this. Even if being thrown into prison for 10 years is not the worst scenario right now. There is simply may not be 10 years. Or even 10 months. Hah.
Think I just gave up on during these months. There is nothing we can do, we have no hope to surivive, and even if we do - we wont be able to live normally anymore. Our lives are in hands of one old half-bald crazy man with megalomania and one red button. We are also victims of this war and this is so…stupid. That fact is making me angry but this anger has no way out. I see brainwashed people waving their goodbyes to drafted men and Im angry at them, disgusted by them. They actually think that these men will return, and return as heroes. You CAN NOT be a hero, you are just another usurper and a dead meat as soon as you got drafted. They are sending their friends, husbands, brothers and sons to certain death and proud of it instead of being terrified or angry.
Maybe our contry does deserve all of this.
Maybe it will be better if we all will die in nuclear fire tomorrow.
I give up. I want to forget and never remember. I want to get back to 2014 when I was in coma and still it wasnt so shitty as it is now.
Maybe I just need psychiatrist help, but its pointless. The moment I try to explain why Im in such state - theyll snitch about my attitude to police and there will be no coming back, not speaking about help…