Subjects of Equestria! We are pleased to kick off the Nightmare Night Festivities and the 14th anniversary of the return of our beloved Princess Luna! Join us in celebration!
Sounds like you need reconditioning. I suggest that you masturbate using the literal shaved beaver to the absolute minimum extent needed to climax, while directing your thoughts to something more appropriate that you also find appealing. Eventually you should be able to work with just that other thing.