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Typically turned to the funny pages - For Patreon supporters
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Silver Bit -
Ruby -
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Cool Crow - "Caw!" An awesome tagger
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Happy Derpy! - For Patreon supporters
Bronze Supporter - Bronze Patron

Despite your earlier misgivings, Derpy seemed to have done a good job cleaning your house. No, not just a good job — a brilliant job! You didn't think her capable of doing something like this without turning half your belongings into broken shards. Looking back, that was actually an incredibly insulting thing to think.

"Derpy!" you exclaim. She cringes slightly at your voice. That was a bad choice of words, it seems. However, her expression immediately brightens at what you say next.

"It is amazingly clean in here. Look like a job well done. I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Derpy," you apologise, with more than a little shame.

She seems to have forgiven you rather quickly, judging by the hooves currently wrapped around your waist. "It's okay. I know I screw up a bunch of other stuff. I told you I could be good at something when I try, though!"

"Yes, you can," you reply. Your smile attempts to match hers, but it has no chance. Her grin stretches from ear to ear. You weren't sure if that was physically possible, but these are ponies; physics are more guidelines than anything else.

After a moment, Derpy spoke up once again. "Well, I need to go now. I have to get home soon, if I want dinner to get done any time tonight."

"It was nice having you. You did a good job today, Derpy."

Her smile shone on and as she exited the house, closing the door with a little more force than was necessary. It was fine, though. No permanent damage. Except maybe for that little crack on the door frame. It… was it growing? No way. That wasn't possible.

It was soon joined by other cracks, all of them slowly growing and joining together into a giant spider web of cracked plaster. An ominous creaking came from the walls. Shit, was the house going to collapse? The door! Get to the door!

Sprinting out of the house, you don't stop going until you hit the side walk. Turning around was not the best of decisions, as, with a mighty crash, the house so recently cleaned chose that moment to finally collapse into itself. A fine coating of dust covered your body, and a good amount found its way into your mouth.

As you survey the wreckage, only one thought crosses your mind: You're never letting Derpy near your stuff ever again.
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Sure, roughly 3/4's of your belongings would be broken and only half the house would be clean at any time (as the mess of that half was shoved to the other one), but who could fire one so cute?