(A three way crossover with JAD, Galloping Steel, and Colt Quest.)
Starring: Treads (G.S.) Sundancer (JAD) and Jewel Family Guards (Colt Quest)
>You are Treads Softly >Filly >And most importantly >The BEST tank commander! “Rrrrrmmmmbbbmbmbmmmmll”
>And by your side was your BEST driver, Little Star! “We’ll show ‘em today, Little Star!” >His plush head droops slightly “I know I say that all the time, but we really will today! I have a secret weapon!”
>You present the most powerful round your behemoth could ever fire >It was FOUR PLY >The Guard will HAVE to take you seriously now! >Tanks ARE real!
>You traverse the yard in your unstoppable cardboard juggernaut
>You grind to a halt “Eeeeeeee!”
>Your screeching brakes catch the attention of a pegasus guard immediately >”Oh! Hello little filly! Quite the impressive armor you have today! Is that a new cannon?”
>You nod gleefully, ready to explain the robust composition of the new main cannon >You got it from a post office! “Sure is, Mister Sir! This one can fire a new round I made!”
>”Who’s this brat? Why is she boxed up like a present?” “BRAT!?” >”Oh, hey Siqueue! Did you want to see little Tread’s new heavy armor?” >”…Her what?”
>”Her heavy armor? She calls it a tank!” >”That’s completely rid-“
>Nopony calls you a BRAT! >You load the 4 ply payload into your main cannon “GUNNER, FIRE!” >Siqueue cocks his head to the side >”Huh?”
>The round flies out at an alarming speed Thunk!
>Siqueue remains nonplussed >…For all of two seconds >Mister Sir struggles to keep Siqueue from assaulting you >”I’LL REND THAT LITTLE TWERP!” >”EASY! IT WAS JUST A JOKE!”
>You ready another round for delivery when suddenly >”HEY!”
>You look in the distance. >There appears to be two heavily armored ponies walking towards the commotion >Not like it matters >Your armor was the HEAVIEST! >Nothing will beat your tank! >You squeeze Little Star totally not because they’re a bit scary.
>”Any particular reason you’re trying to assault a FILLY, Private Siqueue?” >”The little ankle biter was disrespecting a Guard, sir. Completely uncalled for.” >”And Siq’s salty he got rekt by a filly” “That’s right! I’ll take you on any day! Gunner, load 4 ply!” >Little Star droops in response
>Siqueue can only grumble as the blue unicorn approaches you
>”The name is Steel Charge.” >His voice takes on a kinder tone as he speaks to you >”So I heard you shot one of my ponies with something. I take it your ensemble is to blame?“
“It’s a tank! Its got heavy armor, and unmatched firepower! Kneel before the power of tanks!”
>”Unmatched firepower?” “That’s right!”
>At first, he’s somewhat confused >Then, a smile slides across his face and he chuckles >”Show me.”
>The shot rings out >A hefty roll of booty wipe rockets out of the barrel >And strikes Steel right in the face >Time seems to slow as the plushy round squishes his muzzle a bit
>He topples backwards >Steel’s armor clatters as he falls onto his back, and his two friends rush to his aid
>Siqueue sounds somewhat surprised >”Sir?” >Sir tacks on a much less caring, and more deadpan >”Staff Sergeant. Please. It’s just toilet paper.”
>You celebrate your victory in the duel “WOOO! YAY! Another victory for us!” >Little Star bounces and tumbles through the air
>Steel sits up and examines the spent round >”Huh. Four ply?” >He shakes his head and looks at you >Before putting his hoof to his head >”OH! OUCH! I’ve been bested! Farewell, cruel world!”
>He falls back down, defeated >His two friends on the other hoof…
>”I don’t get it?” >”It was JUST toilet paper!”
>HE MOCKS YOUR POWER?! >You’ll show them! “FIRE!”
>Another salvo of rounds find their marks, clunking off the helmets of the two remaining guards
>”Guys! Go down! Don’t make the filly sad!” >Sir just simply nods after the hit >And Siqueue looks awfully mad… >But he won’t for long >Tanks have never let you down!
>”Oh! Arhg! I! Can’t! Stand! Any more! UHRGH!” >Sir falls to the floor, tongue sticking out and legs pointed to the sky >He holds the pose before rolling to his side with a heavy ‘whump.’
>You look at Siqueue >He rolls his eyes and droops his head, just like Little Star >Before falling unceremoniously onto his belly >And quietly saying >”It appears I have been defeated. Noooo.”
>You look around, and note the final armored guard >Reinforcements?!
>You’ll show them! >You’re out of high ply rounds though…
>Little Star shifts on your head slightly >… >What’s that? >… >Brilliant! “Great idea Little Star! As the heaviest armor around, we can just ROLL over her! Let’s go!”
>You engage the engine and lock the turret “Grrrummbblrblrrrrr” >And you speed forward towards your target
>All shall fall before Treads and Little Star! >The best tank team in EQUESTRIA!
>She stands completely still >Appearing to be in her own little world >Soon she’ll be UNDER the world! >Because you’ll run her over >With a tank. >… >Yes.
>You speed up to her “Brace, Little Star!” Thump
>Your advance is halted! >The target appears to be heavier than she looks >You growl menacingly
>And she winces >Probably in pain! >You’ll get her yet
“Reverse, Little Star!” >If at first you don’t succeed..!
>You strike her again >And again! >Each time she winces and looks around, begging for help!
>Beads to sweat trail down her face, and she swallows hard >With a final push, you scrape her armor with the side of the box and put some distance between you two >Surely that will have done it!
>She stands still >Looking quite confused and flustered >Before clattering to her side, legs extended and erect.
>She pauses a moment when on the floor >Then she suddenly opens her mouth >”Oh no. I am hit.”
>Aweso- >”I am bleeding out. Oh no. Mother. Save me. I don’t want to die. It is over. Now I am dead. Bleh.”
>You turn to speak to Little Star privately “Did- Did we go overboard?”
>You look around at the carnage around you >Four ponies lay on the floor >Rounds scattered about >And scuff on the fourth’s armor reveals your relentless brutality
>You hold up Little Star again. “Nopony will know we did these war crimes, oka-“
>”Not bad, little filly!” >Huh? >”You were really great at driving that thing!” >I WAS?!
>”Your armored construct there really showed us!”
>”Might be the best weapon I;ve ever seen, too! >IT IS!? >”Makes me want to get a… what was it, tank? Yeah! One of those!”
>You did it! >Now they HAVE to take you seriously! >Tanks exist! >For realzsies!
>You squeak in excitement and hug Little Star close. >It’s everything you ever wanted! >You got to shoot ponies AND run one over! >And now they love tanks too!
>You throw Little Star into the air and yell “WOO HOO!”
>He tumbles lazily >… “You said it Little Star!”
>Victory is yours!
Whump >”Annoying filly.”
>… >You’ll get him back so hard for this. >And you’ll use FIVE, no SIX ply next time!