The next day…
 
Sweetie Belle: “That was a great idea, Spike! I invited Scootaloo and Apple Bloom over last night, and…”  
Spike: “OH, COME ON!”

Teal deer, Background Pony.

@Background Pony  
Wall of bucking text.

@Background Pony  
TL;DR

Reminds me of a scene from Progress.
 
 
“…oh.”
 
Hoyden chuckled a little while Luna blushed and hid behind her book. Sundance stretched and stood up, edging around Hoyden to slip out of the booth.
 
“I went ahead and ordered you hot oats, they should be here in a minute. And if you two will excuse me I need to visit the little filly’s room.”
 
“Don’t fall in!”
 
“That only happened once…”
 
Hoyden chuckled and leaned back in his seat. When he looked up he noticed Luna was looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face. Hoyden smiled at her in as nonthreatening a manner as he could manage.
 
“‘Sup?”
 
“Um… Hoyden…” Luna began tapping her hooves together nervously, “I have a… query for you. Possibly of a personal nature.”
 
“Yes it’s all natural.”
 
“What?”
 
“Huh?”
 
They stared at each other for a long moment. The waitress arrived with Hoyden’s oats, a plate of waffles for Sundance, and another roll for Luna. Hoyden immediately added some more sauce and tucked in.
 
“What I meant to say is, I had something that I wanted to ask of you while Sundance isn’t around, because she seemed to become rather upset the last time the subject was mentioned in her presence. And if what I am asking is far too personal for you to answer comfortably then by all means you are well within your rights to refuse to answer! But I am very curious and if you could provide me with the information then I would greatly appreciate it.”
 
Hoyden swallowed a particularly large mouthful and shrugged.
 
“Well, you’ll have to actually ask me the question before I can answer or not answer it.”
 
“Oh yes!”
 
Luna leaned forward a little and spoke with what she seemed to think was a conspiratorial air.
 
“Hoyden, what exactly is a threesome?”
 
Hoyden paused in the act of taking another bite, eyes slowly widening in horror.
 
“Well you see your highness, a threesome is when three ponies all get together and rut all at the same time. So when I wished on a star that my mare friend would be into that, I was actually entreating the deity of the night to convince said marefriend to partake in group sexual activities with me and said night deity, i.e. you.”
 
Luna rose from her seat, the booth and the table blown away by an explosion of darkmagic as she floated into the air, eyes burning with evil light.
 
“Pervert! Villain! How dare you debase the goddess of the moon with such illicit and hot sexy fantasies? You will be punished for this!”
 
“No!” Hoyden threw himself on the ground in front of Luna, holding his hooves up pleadingly. “I’m very sorry! I’ll never do it again! Please don’t send me to the moon!”
 
“Oh dear,” said Luna, “you seem to have me confused with my sister. I don’t send ponies to the moon.”
 
“Really? Well that’s-”
 
“I send them TO THE SUN!”
 
“AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!”
 
Luna blinked as Hoyden’s pupils dilated and a small, pathetic, “Nooooo…!” escaped his mouth.
 
“Uh, like I said, you don’t have to…”
 
Hoyden shook his head rapidly and straightened up.
 
“Argh. No, I should tell you, it’s only fair. Though I’ve got to say, I’m a little surprised you don’t know about this, it seems like the kind of thing ponies would have been doing even a thousand years ago.”
 
Luna shrugged.
 
“I am probably familiar with the concept, just not sure about the precise meaning of the phrase as you’re using it.”
 
“Oh, well it’s pretty simple. Uh. Basically a threesome is just when three ponies are… you know, together. At the same time. As opposed to just two.”
 
Luna seemed to consider this for a moment. Hoyden braced himself, then thought better of it and quickly finished his oats, then braced himself again. If he was going to the sun, it was going to be on a full stomach.
 
“Oh,” said Luna, “is that all?”
 
Hoyden gaped.
 
“That’s not what I was expecting,” Luna continued, “but I suppose it’s perfectly understandable. I’m a bit flattered, really.”
 
“…you are? I mean, well of course! It’s a compliment.”
 
“I’m actually more than a little surprised Sundance was so upset about it.”
 
“Well, I think she was mostly upset about me wishing for it on a star,” Hoyden said guiltily, “it’s kind of a silly thing to wish for.”
 
“Yes, I suppose so.”
 
“Oh good, food’s here!” said Sundance as she arrived back at the table, hopping over Hoyden to get back into her seat. Hoyden smiled, allowing himself to relax as the crisis appeared to have been averted. He took a long drink of water while Sundance turned to Luna.
 
“You two seem to have found something to talk about, too.”
 
Luna nodded happily.
 
“Yes! I am enjoying our threesome! How about you?”
 
It was a textbook spittake. Hoyden’s eyes widened, his cheeks bulged, the glass he was drinking from fell from nerveless hooves to bounce and roll off of the table, and he shot a stream of water like a firehose directly across the booth and into Luna’s face. He began coughing while Luna stared at him in shock and confusion, Sundance staring at the both of them in unmitigated horror.
 
“What…” gasped Hoyden.
 
“What…!” squeaked Luna.
 
“WHAT,” said Sundance.
 
“Hold on,” Hoyden managed, “I can explain…!”
 
“Why did you spit on me?” asked Luna, magically raising a napkin to mop off her face.
 
“You surprised me!”
 
“What did I say that was surprising? You said three ponies together was a threesome! There are three of us and we are together, so…”
 
Hoyden let his head hit the table.
 
“That’s… not exactly what I meant…”
 
“Hoyden?” said Sundance in a voice as cold as a grave, “Sweetie? Why are you discussing threesomes with Princess Luna?”
 
“She asked!”
 
Sundance turned her baleful gaze on Luna, who whimpered slightly.
 
“I… I did ask…”
 
“Why?”
 
“Because I didn’t know what it was! And I did not want to ask you because I was afraid you would be angry with me!”
 
“Why would you think I would-” Sundance paused, noted the two ponies backing away from her in terror, sighed, and forced herself to relax.
 
“I’m not angry. Hoyden, go get some napkins.”
 
“Yes ma’am.”
 
He trotted off. Luna sank down into her seat and stared at Sundance with wide, terrified eyes.
 
“I’m really not angry Luna, I promise. It’s just… kind of a sore subject… you see…”
 
She waggled her hooves in the air in front of herself to try and help gather her thoughts. Luna sat back up, still dripping.
 
“I guess technically if three ponies are just doing something together you can call it a threesome, but… usually… and definitely when Hoyden is talking about it… it means the three ponies are doing something… sexual.”
 
Luna’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but she utterly failed to produce any intelligible sounds.
 
“… yeah.”
 
“Hmph,” said Hoyden, returning with a mouthful of napkins. Luna stared at him for a split second before her eyes slid over to Sundance, and then back to him. A blush rose on her cheeks and she quickly stuffed Abacus and her book back into her saddlebags.
 
“Well that was a lovely threesome I mean meal and now I think I will leave you two alone because I have to go clopIMEANGETSOMESLEEp and I will see you at sundown Sundance and then goodbye!”
 
She dropped a few bits on the table and rushed out. Hoyden blinked and spat out the napkins. Sundance heaved a sigh.
 
“Is it bad that the more scared she gets it just makes her more adorable?” she asked.
 
“… I refuse to comment on the grounds that it may incriminate me.”
 
“Oh good, you’re learning.”

@ILikeToSniffFlowers  
i don’t know how to feel about that.

And then this happened. >>5676 (NSFW)

Sweetie: “Spike, what’s a threesome?”