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Description
A.k.a. The Birds meets The Happening as directed by Tommy Wiseau.
“Seriously though, this movie isunbelievable. It cant fit in any scale. If I was to follow the basic standards in which one judges a movie, then this is probably the worst movie I have ever watched in my whole life.
The acting is awful.
The story is awful.
The editing, the cinematography, the music, the special effects, are awful.
But they are all so awful, so bad, so catastrophic, that its hilarious. Its an awful, bad, catastrophic, terribly hilarious movie. If you need an excuse to laugh yourself silly, dont take a second guess and watch this one.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to kick these birds out of my cinema.”
I have a whole rant about it:
Birdemic is the worst movie ever made. For years Plan 9 from Outer Space has held that record but this movie is MUCH worse. The acting is horrible. The pace is excruciating. The sound mixing is lousy. The dialogue is poorly written and the plot is ridiculous. This brain fart of a movie is the creation of software designer James Nguyen, a narcissist with delusions of grandeur. Nguyen was a good enough software designer to make millions from it but he sucks at film-making. This movie is what you get when you cross a huge ego with a total lack of talent.
The first four minutes of this movie may be the most boring thing you will ever watch. It’s just footage of a car driving down the road. That’s it! No dialogue, no action, just background music and a car driving. After four minutes of this, the guy driving the car walks into a diner and is handed a menu. No birds appear at this point. While eating his food which we never hear him order, he spots an old classmate from school sitting at the table behind him. This sets off an inane poorly written love story that takes up a good forty minutes of the plot.
The birdemic (consisting of eagles and vultures attacking cars and gas stations then blowing up) doesn’t begin until halfway through this cinematic abortion. When it does there is no set up, it just cuts to terrible CGI renders of the birds dive-bombing gas stations causing poorly rendered explosions.
The main cast (all forgettable) first try to fight off the birds with wire hangers yet later somehow end up with guns. For something that’s supposed to be a horror movie, it is extremely lacking in scares. I’m only reviewing it because it’s not scary at all. This hodgepodge of movie diarrhea is just one giant incoherent tirade about global warming. Yes you read that right. The birds are attacking people out of revenge for global warming. While climate change is a rather important problem, a preachy poorly made movie craptacular is not the way to convince people of its importance. I already know how important it is. My home state is infested with gypsy moths due to a warm winter.
All in all, this is the kind of movie you have to watch sped up. I recommend watching it with VLC media player at 2.00x speed. Watching at normal speeds kills too many brain cells. To quote Shakespeare: It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Forget waterboarding, we should use this to torture suspected terrorists. If we force them to watch this movie and its equally crappy sequel back to back then play Rebecca Black’s Friday song in a loop, they’ll tell us all we want to know.
I give this movie only one bucket of popcorn (I’ve seen literal garbage better than this movie) and I’m not sure it even deserves that! (taken from my blog)
Jontron is good. Jontron is great.
slrpnls