In Deep Space… Nobody Can Hear How Poorly You Sing
[Somehow, even in the empty vacuum of space, I’m still a roadie. Yes, even after “borrowing” a Starfleet science vessel and battling the Borg, I’ve been returned to the old trappings of plugging in amplifiers and working out the kind of auto drum program that all bands-minus-drummers are familiar with.]
“How come the only thing you can play is the violin, Master?”
Me: [Tsun-tsun dere-dere] “H-how come your guitar’s so small, huh?”
“That’s not even a real comeback, Master.”
Me: [Do_you_wanna_do_this_or_not.png?]
[Medi relents with a shrug and strums out an E chord on her aforementioned adorably small guitar, because like Mr. King once said, “All that shit’s played in the key of E.”]
“Master, you did make sure to have some cookies first, right?”
Me: “Yeah, my sugar should be up. Why?”
[Another tiny batpony shrug]
“You just tend to get really excited whenever we play. I just wanna make sure you’ll be alright.”
Me: [Giving her a little pat-pat on the head with my index finger] “You can be a super smart aleck sometimes, hun, but at least your heart’s always in the right place. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” [Insert wiseguy grin here] “I mean, it’s just Smash Mouth. How excited can I possibly get?”
[Welp, here goes!]
Me: “Some~
[Door opens. It begins.]
body once told me, the universe might roll me
I ain’t the brightest star in the sky
She was lookin’ kinda down, stuck there on the ground
As I blasted off, with a middle finger goodbye”
Medi: “Well the light years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’
Warp Factor Nine and the engines keep runnin’
Didn’t make sense not to explore for fun
It’s a deep space party, French kiss the sun, son”
Me: “So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with jackin’ a ship from Starfleet?
You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never sparkle if you don’t glow”
Medi: “So?”
Together: (Unchanged) “Hey now, you’re an All-Star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold”
Medi: “It’s deep space and they say it only gets deeper
Like an endless mountain that only gets steeper
But not everyone can make the climb
With altitude sickness not far behind”
Me: “The ice on Mars is gettin’ pretty thin
The water’s gettin’ warm so you might as well swim
The cosmos wide open, right in front of me
In every galaxy another possibility!”
Together: “Hey now, you’re an All-Star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold”
Medi: “A captain once asked me, what else unknown is out there to see?
A few new moons, some space (SF) Debris?”
Me: “I said, how can you be bored, ‘cause there’s so much more!”
It’s a brand new venture, this is just the ground floor!”
Medi: “Well the light years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’
Warp Factor Nine and the engines keep runnin’
Didn’t make sense not to explore for fun
It’s a deep space party, French kiss the sun, son”
Me: “So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with jackin’ a ship from Starfleet?
You’ll never know if you don’t go, GO!
You’ll never sparkle if you don’t glow, GLOW!”
Together: “Hey now, you’re an All-Star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold”
[As the music winds down, we both fall to the deck covered in sweat. Keep in mind, it’s not that it’s a particularly long or exhausting song, but hey, I’ve always been known to jump around like a spastic monkey on meth while performing and my medical officer isn’t very different in that regard. We devolve into laughter, clutching our tummies while, presumably, the computer mocks us out of earshot.]
Me: “We set off for deep space unknown!”
“Just one weird guy and a tiny bat pone!”
Me: “Fought the Borg and drank some booze!”
“Alarm clock rings and we hit snooze!”
Computer: “WHAT DOES THAT LAST LYRIC EVEN IMPLY, CAPTAIN? THAT YOU ARE BOTH LAZY IN THE MORNING? THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE; THE TWO OF YOU NEGOTIATED A SIX YEAR FINANCE CONTRACT WITH THE FERENGI THIS MORNING, QUITE FAR FROM A ‘SIMPLE’ OR ‘LAZY’ BARGAIN.”
Me: [Coming down from my giggle-fits] “Computer… let it rest. We’re having fun. That should be all that matters right now.”
[Medi flits up in the air and lands on my nose in a perfect three-point superhero pose]
“Yeah, we’re All-Stars. Right, Master?”
Me: “Right.”
[And the next song was just as embarrassing… probably… definitely…]
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(I think the hardest part about doing these is editing everything so the italics, bolds, and whatnots all work out in the end. My eyes hurt xD . Anyway, love you guys!)
