@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
Take my advice: As someone whom once had an atrociously horrible year back in 2018
(not helped by my banishment after losing my mind and lashing out at others which resulting in me saying something I regretted later on in life that caused me to hate myself for years), giving up on life is no way how to live.
Believe me, I had a suicidal phase too four years ago. I’ve tried seeking mental help, but my therapist at the time was no help at all which didn’t help my mental state in the slightest.
I thought about taking a walk on the tracks until the next Amtrak came about to bawl me over and kill me right then and there several times but never had the commitment to do so.
Eventually months had past and after that’s when my conscience finally told me something that wasn’t hurtful let alone harmful that could eventually get me killed that no one would ever see or hear from me ever again. I eventually thought, if people don’t love or like me, screw them all.
I can’t please or befriend everyone. I have to hang with my own people.
Your cousin’s death is not your fault. You could’ve saved him, I get that - and I do feel sad for your own loss; but relenting on it and taking your own life will not bring them back.
I’m sorry to say this, but sometimes…
People just don’t want help.
I had worse luck trying to help an ex so-called “friend” see that he’s being manipulated by baizuo propaganda and how wrong and contradicting his asinine rhetoric is, but he never listened.
I even tried to help someone who was trans with their own suicidal phase (not helped by my own at the time), and she kept falling back into relapse repeatedly.
Don’t let your cousin’s death take its toll on you. I am sincerely sorry for your loss, but your life has meaning whether you like it or not.
I’m trying to find my place in life and I’d be damn jovial and over the moon once I find it and use it to be better than other people and I know
you can do the same.
Your life matters, no one elses.
The smartest and most strongest person is the one that looks after themself and not everyone else.
That might sound apathetic and callous, but caring about your own needs is what helps you get over suicide. At least for me anyway.
You can take whatever I say into account or don’t. Either way, your life has more meaning than most people who
waste it constantly.
I have my own life and you have yours - so use it wisely.
Ending it is a bad idea.
Believe me, I know how enticing that feeling is and how it can manipulate you toxicly. But I learned to get over that suicidal thought and be able to survive COVID19 regardless of my reputation and how strangers perceive me.
You can do the same. I know you can.