Crazy Headcanons

I wonder how ponies are supposed to hold a pool stick

Ponies have this special magic they can use when they hit puberty in tandem with one or more ponies that is basically metaphorical sex  
They can use it to make babies or they can use it recreationally  
They dont have genitalia, unless they use magic to create some

Scootaloo can belch out the entire Royal Anthem of Equestria after guzzling a liter of soda. She’s proud of that, but she’s also glad she didn’t get her Cutie Mark for it.

Hippogriffs were magically altered pegasai secretly and selectively bred to create a chimeric super soldier race for use in the pony-griffin war and a possible anti-dragon weapon. When the griffin empire fell before such a conflict and a new ruling power never surfaced, a working population of 700 battle-trained and untested mutants were quietly moved to a location outside Equestria’s borders.
 
Gently guiding them back into a civilization-worthy mindset, the crown staged a ‘ground-breaking discovery’ of their young race and worked to declare them vassals of Equestria. A de-facto leader(who would become their first queen) in their ranks rebuffed these efforts, and declared independence from their parent kingdom.
 
It was given quickly and quietly, lest word of their true orgins be spread.

Let’s try something a little different:  
Choose two characters from your watchlist at random, then another two of your choice, and write a headcanon for each one. I’ll start:  
-Moonsqueeze got where she is (the size of a small country) by eating fast food.  
-Cloudchaser doesn’t wear a bra. Or any top, for that matter.  
-Ruby Pinch refuses to cover her midriff.  
-Puppysmiles once survived 5,457,469 consecutive rounds of Russian Roulette.

@Wiimeiser
 
I wonder how long 5,000,000+ rounds of Russian Roulette took.

@YetAnotherBrony  
Assuming each round takes about 20 seconds, a little over three years consecutively.

@Wiimeiser
 
I wonder who stood there for over three years. I wonder why they stood there for three years.

@YetAnotherBrony  
I don’t know. And I don’t know. The number is her S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Stats, that’s why.

I don’t have pony names on my watchlist, so this isn’t part of that.
 
Human Twilight has a pajama top she really wishes she could bring herself to wear to a sleepover. Across the chest, it has some cells of the periodic table: titanium, carbon, potassium, lithium, sulfur, and hydrogen. She feels like it would be fun if her friends acted on it, but she’s afraid of being thought weird for it.

@Nyperold  
>Ti C K Li S H  
Yes, yes.

Stallions can become alicorns, but all alicorns are female.
 
@Ansi-Marelina  

 
Is there an episode that keeps a running total of every time somepony says “peeved”?

Nogan is short for Noganford.

Ponies have both estrus and menstrual cycles.
 
They’re also venomous; their venom is made of theobromine and phazon and is injected through their fangs or retractable spurs on the hooves (unlike the platypus, females have the spurs too). Harkens back to the multicolored reason.
 
On that note, the teeth. They have the same incisors and (pre)molars as normal horses, but the canines differ. For the front canines, only the top two exist, and are extended into long fangs that often stick out of the mouth. The back canines (wolf teeth) always exist. The gap where the bridle goes doesn’t exist, as it’s where the muzzle was shortened (No evolutionary advantage, really)
 
Ponies are tetrachromats, they have the same two cones that normal horses do, as well as an additional two, one sitting roughly at each end of the visible light spectrum, allowing limited access to infrared and ultraviolet. Though they can’t distinguish green and yellow and have limited ability to see red.
 
Puppysmiles has an amaranthine (UV) coat and pink (IR) eyes.
 
Ponies have 69 chromosomes.

@Wiimeiser
 
I headcanon that ponies are omnivorous (in fact, unicorns in and pegasi used to eat the bones of small.animals to ensure healthy horn and wing growth), but giving them large, venomous fangs is a bit much.

@YetAnotherBrony  
Yeah, maybe you’re right. In that case I might remove the venom, though I’ll probably keep the fangs.

@Wiimeiser
 
I understand why you made them venomous though (colorful creatures in nature are sometimes so)

@YetAnotherBrony  
That was based on/inspired by someone else’s headcanon, actually. Forgot where, but it was back in 2015 IIRC.

By the standard of past queens, Chrysalis is a monumental failure.
 
From her development of a method of harvest that keeps her prey alive, to staying in one region too long, to not killing prisoners, to only having one mating drone in her entire life, being usurped from her hive is but the cherry on top of what her mother would call a waste of life and love.

@PonyPon
 
The other queens sound like absolute charmers.

@PonyPon  
We sure Chrysalis is the mother to every Changeling? I mean I know we’re going off of ant and bee mating but there seems to be gender among the changelings and not all of them seem to be related given how Thorax treats his brother despite that if they were all related then the entire hive would have him as a brother, so it seems more likely that individuals in the hive can mate

@EotD  
Perhaps, I always assumed by ‘brother’ he meant he was part of the same clutch.
 
Either way, no idea if they’re reproductively viable, though we did hear implications that grubs are still being made.
 
Also, Chrys only has to visit her Mating Drone every 100 years for one night of passion, giving her body enough genetic material to make eggs for roughly that length of time.
 
When she says her heart has no room, he’s what’s filling it. Though the opinion of her mother on such matters makes her unwilling to reveal such, even to him.

@PonyPon  
Yeah they never were really clear on the whole brother thing

@PonyPon
 

 
That was my assumption as well, since Thorax specifically described Pharynx as his “elder broodmate” in “To Change a Changeling”, which can be interpreted as them being brothers because they were hatched from the same brood of eggs.
 
It doesn’t really set anything in stone, but it does leave both options – “all changelings can breed” versus an ant-style queen-based system – as viable interpretations, depending on how one reads that line.

Sunset Shimmer’s recent visit to Equestria left Princess Celestia deeply concerned. Not about Sunset herself, or her own failings as a teacher, but about making sure nopony finds out where her wayward pupil has been all this time. She’d be a lot less worried if it hadn’t taken until just a couple days ago for Twilight to realize she hadn’t told Pinkie to keep it a secret.
 
@EotD  
Also, even if it does work the same way as ants and bees do, that doesn’t necessarily make Chryssy the mother of all changelings unless you can rule out the possibility that there’s other hives out there.