SO, GUYS,, I OWN A… UM…. A SPACE PROGRAM! YEAH! AND I WAS DEVELOPING A BRAND NEW SSTO (SINGLE STAGE TO ORBIT) PLANE, EVERYTHING WAS LOOKING GOOD, NICE ENGINES, GOOD LIFTING SURFACE, PERFECT CoL - CoM POSITIONING; BUT, BUTT!!! A CERTAIN (what race is Kekere? Ian? IAN!? A Dik-Dik, thanks Blerf e.e ) A CERTAIN DIK-DIK DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT 1.8 TONS OF TWINKIES IN FRONT OF THE CRAFT, MESSING MY PERFECT (Shush Ian, same thing!) as I was saying, MESSING MY PERFECT CoL - CoM POSITIONING AND MAKING MY BOOTYFUL SSTO FRONT HEAVY. MAKING US UNABLE TO KEEP STABILITY AS SOON AS WE ENTERED THE THIN PART OF THE ATMOSPHERE! (Shush Star! Its the truth!) (No, Ian, above the troposphere e.e It is) A.K.A. wait, how was it called? uh… lemme do some research… STRATOSPHERE! THAT’S IT! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG, OF COURSE, I’M A ROCKET SCIENTIST! ANYWAY! OUR CRAFT WENT ALL WIBBLY WOBBLY, ENTERING INTO A VERY BAD STALL, THAT EVEN AS THE AWESOME PILOT I AM, COULDN’T RECOVER, I TRIED THO! THERE WERE BILLIONS OF TWINKIES FLYING AROUND AND ALL THE CREW WAS ALL FWOOSH, WOOSH! WHY IN THE HAY WEREN’T YOU GUYS WEARING YOUR SEAT BELTS!? WHAT THE HAY MAN! (Shush Ian, it was safe) SO, WE HAD TO JUMP ONTO THIS BIG ELEPHANT’S BACK, WHO, FOR SOME REASON, HAD AN ELEPHANT SIZED PARACHUTE ON HIS BACK, AND A WEIRD BLUE ALIEN STICKING ON HIS EAR, AND WE JUMPED!!! WE WATCHED MY BEAUTIFUL SHIP PLUMMET INTO THE SEAS, IT WAS… IT WAS SO HEARTBREAKING… BUT, WE LIVED TO TELL YOU THIS COOL STORY… We recovered 1 box of Twinkies, NOT A TOTAL LOSS HUH?
Many were beached.