Arrogantly Marry Vinyl Scratch. That’s what I get for being Arrogant.

Grudgingly Stoned With Vinyl Scratch. Damn, that sounds like a fun night.

Happily stoned with Pinkie Pie…  
Is that bad?

Epicly abandoned in bed shackles by RD.  
And of course this would be just my luck.

I generously receive oral sex from Twilight Sparkle!  
Everything Went Better Than Expected

Quietly divorce Octavia.. what?

Ravenously make out with rd. huh.

Where is the R in the middle?

Quietly shot by that little bastard Spike. Knew I shouldn’t have given him that silencer.

Grudgingly get my pants stolen by Celestia. John Joseco, did you put her up to this?!

Calmly masturbated by Twilight Sparkle.
 

Happily masturbated by Octavia.
 
I feel like I should return the favor…

ferociously receive oral sex from Fluttershy and Rarity

Masturbated by Octavia and Pinkie Pie. I have two last names.

I MADE THIS DINNER FOR YOU DERPY.  
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.
 
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY, BUT I FEEL THE URGE TO YELL EVERYTHING I SAY BY USING THE CAPS LOCK ALL THE TIME!
 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Derpily abandoned in bed shackles by Vinyl Scratch. ’Bout par for the course, what with my luck. I get a roll in the hay with DJ PON-3 and end up in shackles.

I quietly have drunken sex with Octavia.

th–THERE’S NO R IN THE MIDDLE

I drunkenly beat up Big Machintosh. Welp, better call the ambulance while i’m ahead.

wait what i get happily castrated by fluttershy o.o um

I drunkenly fondle =D…Spike. Damnit!

I ravenously have drunken sex with Spike.

Uhhh…. Happily beat up Big Macintosh… One does not simply beat up Big Macintosh.

Since I don’t have a middle name, let’s say I generously party with Spike (hell yeah!)

I boastfully make sex with Pinkie Pie….  
Someone shoot me.