Shining: Well we most never forget those we love and is reason why we fighting for!  
Newbie unicorn guard: Captain, I don’t have a mare friend yet, not you or captain flash sentry!  
Newbie Pegasus guard: Yeah, both of you a won the heart of two of the Princess,(he do a fake evil smile) Lucky bastard!  
Shining: But is not Stop Us to do our Duty, May be one on mission of safe a town and safe a beautiful mare and fall in love of you, or may be is a mare you know and fall in love you by see the brave pony you are!  
Newbie Unicorn Guard: Yeah, I know a mare…i have a crush on her but she say i am useless and weak!  
Newbie Pegasus Guard: Not me but i hope to found one who love…see Princess breaning the lunch box of Captain Shining armor make me wish to have lovely mare will do it for!(he daydream of it)  
Flash sentry: Or is will never come true if both not finish your training?  
Both Newbie guard: OH Yes sire!  
Shining: Thanks flash, is good to have loyal soldier i can count on, Oh by the way, how Twily going? the last time i see her she be sick!(the two newbie hear it)  
Flash: Yeah but Thanks of Zecora she feel better!  
Shining: Oh is good to know..oh and how your troup going?  
Flash: Doing great, all the them Protect Ponyville from thief and monsters but of course some is Twilight and her friends deal with it but the guards make sure one civil be hurt!  
Shining: Good to know,(he do a fake evil smile and look the two newbie) I wonder are long those two newbie can hold against your last recruit i set you last month?  
Flash: Hmmm the Unicorn here will only 1 one minute and the Pegasus will hold 30 second..Or both will beat up in a second!(both newbie be a little scare)  
Shining: a Second? You mean against You or me Yes!(both Newbie be more scare)  
Flash: Yeah but is too soon for them to challenge Us in a mock battle!  
Shining: Yeah you a right, both are Newbie, only our elite of own troup have more chance!  
Flash: This is why those two elite are the Vice captain Hmm?  
Shining: Ok let go back on training those two Newbie, want give a help My friend?  
Flash: Of course, i will take the pegasus, Ok Rookie, You better hold it and follow me i will not go easy on like captain spitfire will do!(the Newbie Pegasus guard feel like be doom) Oh and remember I am the guard the most fast of all equestria, i first try be wonderboth but i not feel be my place but thanks captain Spitfire for all the training she a give me, I will not be the guard i am today..You know what, I will take to the wonder bolt academia and put you on the dezzietron!(he do a evil smile)  
Newbie pegasus Guard: I am doom!(all Pegasus know of the Dezzietron and many a scare of it)  
Newbie Unicorn guard: Well i not be so doom ha ha ha!  
Shining: What are you laughing?(he do a evil Smile) I will take to tempest shadow to stuff you up!  
Newbie Unicorn Guard: Wait, You mean the Tempest Shadow…the ex-commander of storm king army?  
Flash & Shining: Yes!  
Shining: she the vice captain of ponyville royal guards and she help to train weak guards like you, don’t worry she will go easy on your first month(He do evil smile)  
Flash: and you once you finish the dezzietron train you will join him too!  
Both Newbie: We are doom!  
Flash: Yeah doom but in the end you will be part of the mighty new generation Guards! Oh she train us too, you know and she train the Princess too time to time!  
Shining: OK We don’t have all day, i don’t want be late to night, GOT IT!  
the Newbie: YES SIR!

@Background Pony #3332  
Ha.

Shining Armour: “The first guardpony to laugh will be reassigned to the Badlands.”

Maybe Cadance picked up a little trollestia.

First one to open his mouth is gonna be peeling potatoes.

dt and thumbsup have it.  
Shining’s jimmies remain unrustled, as he knows he gets some of that every night.

“If you recruits have something to say, now would be a damn good time to keep it to yourself.”

Spare him, Ciriliko’s Spanish after all.

Oh, you… :D
 
All that aside, the grammar SERIOUSLY bugs the shit outta me, being the nit-picky person I am.

“Hooves up, who here’s sleeping with a princess tonight? Yeah, I thought so.”

Heeeeeee XD