I’m a part-time seller of video tapes, and collector of mares

@AwkwardLuna
I just have this headcanon that most ponies don’t get extremely upset over most minor inconveniences and just sort of adapt wherever they’re put, like plants, rodents and certain small rocks, and they immediately saw the advantages of building an entire underground city while leaving the surface village as a decoy and schmuck bait for monsters, villains of the week and tax collectors. Everything above is now rigged to blow at the touch of a button that is in no way jolly, red or candylike, for safety reasons. It’s blue.

@Podbeing
As far as I’m concerned this is canon now.

“Look, it’s not that we’re unhappy here, Mister Anon…”

“Is it the mildew? I can spray for that!”

“No, it’s not the mildew…”

“Is it about movie night? I don’t have many musicals but I can get more, I promise!”

“No, it’s not about the movies, and it’s not like we don’t watch movies pretty much every night so I’m not sure what why we’re calling it movie night. Besides, the movies are great–I mean, I’ve seen ROCKY and COBRA like thirteen times already. Stallone was pretty awesome in those. Heck, Flitter’s been binge-writing mashup self-insert Batman-Rocky-Five Easy Pieces-Avatar fanfic, Faust knows why, but somehow it’s actually pretty readable. Better than readable, actually, now that there’s a five pony editing team working on it. She’s up to like 1200 pages at last count. But that’s not really the point I’m trying to make here–”

“The waterslide, then?”

“No, that’s pretty awesome. We expanded the pool area, by the way. The Grimtooth Brothers are pretty sure we can squeeze in at least a small waterpark and a full spa behind the machine shop and the mini-mall without compromising either the surface integrity or the structure of the house.”

“I…when did I have a machine shop?”

“Oh, yeah, we put that in Tuesday. Behind the water heater. The mall’s still being worked out, but we’ve already started renting out spaces. It ought to be pretty lucrative and we’ve already got a florists’ shop in there. But–”

“Then what? What can I do to keep you guys here?”

Sigh “Look, this has been a great vacation, don’t get me wrong, but we have jobs we need to get back to, lives…and you are aware this is…technically speaking…kidnapping, right?”

“But…I’m very lonely….”

“I know. Look, it’s fine. We’re not going far, and we’re planning to come back to visit. We’re pretty much moving Ponyville down here at some point since it seems safer than being up there on the surface next to the Everfree if you’re game. We’re even naming it Neo-Ponyville, maybe going with a neon theme? Evangelion was awesome even if it WAS dark as hell.”

“Okay, but…we need mechs.”

“Just give us a month, okay?”

“Okay.”

@Setsugekka
You should regularly let the ponies out so they can invite their friends.

everything is free if youre intimidating enough

Alex Jones liked this post

Can I see the basement.

And then they call the cops.

Or order several pizzas out of hunger and spite

Everybody gangsta until one of them learns how to use a phone

i dont get it

@Einsman
I think you mean
( o )c( o )

( o )..( o)

@Meanlucario
Ahh, so he’s only taking background ponies home. Got it.

For some reason they scream “Let us out” and call me a kidnapper.

Good luck with keeping all 51 happy and satisfied… ;)

@ARandomByStander
Quantity over quality.

That’s too many; You should only take care of 3 to 5 ponies at the most otherwise you will start to neglect them.

Where is this park and are there still ponies in it?

It’s all fun and games until someone calls the cops.

Unless it’s the pony Copper Top, then she, too, will join the fun.

pssst….it’s free squatpones!

@sonicfan
Feed them, pet them and let them roam free. Duh.

And what do you do with these ponies once you have them?

I’m so jealous.
I wish I had a basement.

Do they have to rub the lotion on their skin, or else they get the hose again?