@Lord Of Dorkness  
I’m imagining this poor hapless hedge wizard being followed around by an angrier untitled goose game goose.

@Background Pony #B740  

 
…That’s a freaking brilliant character concept for 5e.
 
Pact of the chain, goose… with just a bit too scary stats & some magic. Is it a demon bound in flesh… or worse, a REAL GOOSE THAT STOPPED PRETENDING TO BE NICE?! AHHHHH~!

There’s a small flock of geese that roam the sidewalks by my work building during certain seasons, and I’ve never encountered any trouble with them, even when walking by them. They’re pretty good at staying in single file when a human passes, too (no idea why they don’t seem to want to stray into the grass).

@Machiavellian Mythos  
A warlock, for making a pact with eldritch entities.

@Machiavellian Mythos  
A sadist.

I was actually friends with a flock of Canadian Geese once. We sat and chilled together. One of them was a tad more bitey towards people and had a crooked jaw, but we were still good enough pals.
 
Does that make me metal or a wizard?

@British-Heavy-Metal-Dude  
@laofuzi  
I dunno if it’d work on a duck, but I heard that if you’re ever attacked by a goose, you’re supposed to grab it by the neck, right behind its head, hold it firmly enough that it can’t escape, but not so tightly that you’re strangling it, then throw the goose as hard as you can. This doesn’t hurt the goose, because this is similar to how they fight other geese, so they’ve adapted to handle being grabbed by the neck a d thrown, but it discourages the goose from further pursuing you.

That’s not just a goose.

@British-Heavy-Metal-Dude  
I haven’t been attacked by any geese as of yet. I seen them roam around munching on grass and pooping on sidewalks back when I studied at university. So as long as you give them a wide berth, respect their presence and have no food with you, they won’t come at you.

i have had a duck attack me once because i had some chips on me. (Fries to any americans)  
That was ever so slighlty very fucking terrifying.
 
Ever since then i have been an enemy of duck kind.

Did you killed her babies or something?

It’s a lovely morning in Ponyville, and you are a horrible goose.

Not even Fluttershy could befriend them.

@Setsugekka  
Cats are like that, same with penguins.

Geese are spawns of hell itself.  
They have no right for teeth on their tongue!

Canada geese are inherently and entirely evil.

Geese are monsters

Geese are not anyone’s friends. Speaking as a person who lives in an area they frequent, geese (Canada Geese in particular) are hateful little SOBs who feel nothing but a combination of contempt and rage for all lifeforms other than themselves.

It is a beautiful day in Ponyville and you are a horrible goose…