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i think your dialog is genius, this is hottest instant loss I’ve seem to date :)
I’d counter that there’s an “Oh Celestia it feels so good …” to bridge the gap between the two, especially given this is an instant defeat type scenario, but I see your point. Could’ve and likely should’ve expanded that bridge between the two.
“I didn’t insult you! J-just please get off of me!”
Into…
“F-fuck me harder! P-please! I’ll be a good bitch! I promise!”
I won’t lie, I think I wrote a bit too much in that regard, and I think I could’ve made it flow a bit better, but how is it conflicting at all? Not defensive or anything - I genuinely want to know for the sake of improvement.
Best to give her mouth something to do next time. That should teach her to watch what she’s saying. And perhaps give her little ponut some stretching.
That’s certainly by my experience.
Nah, she’s always been a bit slow on the uptake. It’ll take another dozen mating presses and a few suspended congresses before she learns.
Edited