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Description

OAT.MEAL  
vol 1 MISTFORD  
ch 2  
pg 12  
by oatmeal155  
any feedback would be greatly appreciated  
cover: cover  
ENP: Enp  
first: _  
ch.2: ch.2  
prev: >>  
next: <<

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redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
@Oatmeal155
 
my only real suggestion would be to try to spread out your composition more. you do a great job of giving the sort of claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in a confined space, facing uncertain doom, but it is actually hard to figure out what’s going on sometimes. more open areas to give an idea of the size of things. like in the upper left panel there, who the heck knows what they’re standing in front of? but the middle right panel is much better, showing that it’s most definitely an ornate double door. if the upper left panel weren’t there at all, you could have stretched the ones to the right out more, having more freedom to represent the portrait they’re looking at. if the “pitter patter” panel were just stuffed into a horizontal gap below the top panels, the second row could stretch more too. or maybe even put the rainfall silouette as its own panel on top of the comic.
 
I get the impression it’s a limit of your medium though. with traditional art you have to deal with running out of space on the page. but that makes it all the more important to spend a lot of time planning on how to arrange things so they don’t look too cramped or cut off.
Oatmeal155
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

the generic looking dude
@redweasel  
Yeah its pretty slow. Most of it is me trying to be atmospheric. Other is me trying shovel in a bunch of setup.
 
I don’t really have experience with writing stories or stuff.  
I’m going try to be better  
But thank you for the feedback.  
Let know if you have ideas on how I can improve.  
Thank you
redweasel
Duck - "someone befriended them, saved them, coaxed them out of their shell, and showed them that sex is nothing to be afraid of. I’m kind of envious of that rape victim"

Fuzzbutt
okay I’m fairly sure “wait in the parlor” does not mean “go drink his alcohol cabinet” by any standard of ethics.
 
this is frustratingly passive plot, but it’s a really nice build-up, whatever it’s building up to.