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April 7, 2019  
Dear Friendship Diary,
 
It turns out that Lucky Shot was a dragon from another world this entire time! His name is Fibriel. Very exotic, our dragons are usually named stuff like Chunk and Fester.
 
You’d think that kind of backstory would turn out to be a villain but he seems nice. Well. Nice compared to Chrysalis, anyway. He kind of draws pictures of me and the girls being sl ska Rarityish unladylike but gosh, I’ve never had a boy tell me he wanted to pound my express such attraction to me before.
 
You know, over the ten years of mayhem, the guy could’ve had the decency to stick his beak (??) in and Mary Sue us to victory at least once, but nope. He says he doesn’t have his full strength because our world’s magic is different, and that he was sent here to learn not to be a glory-hogging wannabe hero and therefore had to let us solve our own problems, and all that crud. Maybe ten years ago I would’ve respected this faithfulness to intercosmic protocol, but then my house blew up and I’m 50% sure he could have at least made my house not blow up if he’d helped. Protocol can suck an egg.
 
Applejack and Rainbow Dash can’t stand this guy. He seems to think Applejack is some kind of fertility goddess (when we all know that’s Princess Celestia, please ignore the sweat stains on this page) and called Rainbow Dash “impishly adorable”. Rainbow Dash apparently perceives no greater insult than to be called adorable (as opposed to “wickedlicious” or some other bizarre aberration) while Applejack is always embarrassed to remember how supremely hot she is, and an embarrassed Applejack is an angry Applejack. I suppose their reactions could be a classic emotional inversion to deny their repressed desperation for a romantic connection… in layponies’ terms “tsundere”… but every other time I’ve presumed I understood how my friends thought I have consequently caused a disaster, so I should probably discard that thought.
 
I should also discard the thoughts of how he could top me silly and ruin me for all other stallions (who are VERY interested and I am NOT desperate I will have you know.)
 
Ending this journal now bye.  
~Twilight Sparkle
 
P.S. She’s desperate. ~Spike