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Ministry of Image - Fanfiction Printing

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Description:

Story in the description included the comments below.
safe1692190 artist:tahublade7409 applejack168718 rarity180599 anthro257244 plantigrade anthro32095 3d74762 apple16067 basket3051 boots21478 car6002 carrying2196 clothes454444 daz studio810 female1350108 food69214 front knot midriff1353 gloves19715 lesbian96011 mercury (car)7 mercury cougar4 mercury cougar eliminator3 midriff19201 mud2517 panties49765 pants14285 rarijack7011 shipping198372 shoes35774 story in the comments729 story in the source1938 underwear60244

Comments

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TF2Heavy

Yes it was funny happened. I certainly read this tale, but I would like to see it in the form of frames, such as comic books or something else, especially the moments where Rarity began to drive in a car with frantic speed and how she pushes the pedals. I really love anthro-ponies riding cars.
MasterKingfisher

BLINX THE TIME SWEEPER
@Kyrii

here's some more cars that should get pony involvement, Kyrii…

- an Oldsie Toronado
- another Mercury: either the Cyclone GT or Marauder
- the Monteverdi H650/Hai 650
- also the Monte H450/Hai 450
- the Aviator, Lincoln's Ford Explorer
- the Jensen Interceptor
Kyrii
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Takes Half Damage
@MasterKingfisher
Haha, good eye! There's also the big fat "Eliminator" lettering under the rear stripe. Hard to see due to the lighting glare and muck :>

I commissioned this piece from DrCoolCabbage and chose the Eliminator specifically, even giving him the actually car model! (From Forza 2, ported over to XNA, then ported once again to DAZ)

I felt a big Mustang would have been cliche, so I decided to give the Cougar much needed love, and I think CoolCabbage agrees
Mildgyth
Best Pink Pony - For being the first person to reach 50k uploads, managing the site's featured images, and countless other contributions to the site.
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Moderator
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta
“Tada!” Rarity chirped, clapping her gloved hands together as she marveled at her handiwork. Applejack peered down at her “new” flannel shirt, now tied into a knot below her waist to reveal her abdomen.

“Ah coulda sworn ah saw this outta the corner of mah eye in one of them fashion magazines ya speak so highly of.” The farmer mare smirked as she placed her gloved hands on her hips. “Inspired bah Sapphire Shores, bah any chance?” Applejack winked playfully, tongue in cheek.

“Not even close, Darling!” Rarity laughed, taking note of Applejacks heavy sarcasm.

“Yeah, yer right. Dang, I am lost when it comes tah lookin’ fab. This is obviously inspiah’d bah the work of Starstreak-”

“Oh, stop!” Rarity giggled, patting Applejacks waist tentatively. “You shouldn’t be working up such a stench in this weather! This should give your abdomen some much needed airflow!”

“Somethin’ tells me ya’ll just wanted ah peak at mah six-pack-”

“Hush hush, Applejack, I care for your health first and foremost!” Rarity continued to pat the farm mare’s sides, tentatively tapping her gloved fingers against bare fur. “But…” Rarity slowly ran her fingers across Applejacks belly. “Fitness, through work and pleasure is a healthy contributor to…” Rarity began to blush as she pushed her palms into the farm mares muscular abdomen. “…extended living and…” The Fashionista bit her bottom lip as she ran her gloves down Applejack’s belly, tapping every ab with a single finger as she did so.

“Ya’ll need ah mangifyin’ glass er’ sumthin’?” Applebloom asked out of the corner of Rarities eye, unsure if she wanted to know what the Fashionista intended to do with her older sister. Rarity recoiled, her blush growing as the two fumbled their hands away from each other. Apple Bloom blinked, shrugged and then proceeded into the house with a spring in her step. “Ahm comin’ Sweetie Belle! Rarity just lost her contact lens in mah sister’s abs again…”

“So, you whana get started while Celestia’s sun is young?” Applejack inquired, trying to break the tension with a chuckle, something Rarity was more then willing to partake in as the two began to walk away from the house.

“Well, that is what I am here for, am I not?” Rarity laughed, doing her best to keep up with Applejacks long strides.

“That’s the spirit, Sugercube!” Applejack replied, passing the Fashionista a thumbs up. “Ah doubt any of use want ah repeat of last month so today’s job ain’t gonna be hard on the ankles!”

“Absolutely, Darling!” Rarity piped up in agreement, trying her best to push those painful memories to the wayside. “While I may not be quite the Appletree bucker like you, I feel my skills would come in quite handy in a pinch on the farm!”

“Darn tootin’!” Applejack chirped. “You got yer work duds in the car or-?”

“Why, Applejack, these are my work duds!” Rarity replied earnestly, flattening out the wrinkle in her dress. This gave Applejack a moment of pause, besides the gloves, her dress wasn’t exactly what she would call ‘Working Overalls’ and her boots weren’t any better, despite the tough leather and heavy buckles they seemed better suited for the town then the apple orchard, especially considering Rarities tendency to avoid any and all mucky obstacles across the damp dirt, still wet from last nights scheduled rainfall.

“Well, alrighty then, Rares!” Applejack rolled her eyes with a sarcastic smirk on her face, knowing all too well trying to get Rarity into proper working gear would be like reasoning with a brick wall. The two continued to traverse the property and made their way to the barn. “While ya’ll sure as hay ain’t gonna be puntin’ any tree’s, ah feel ah’ve got a job right up yer alley!”

“Oh, do tell, Applejack!”

“Me an’ Big Mac were tidyin’ up one of the dry storage sheds on the edge of the property fer some long overdo spring cleanin’! An’ lo an’ behold! Under ah tarp and ah hundred pounds of junk lay Ma and Pa’s ol’ prahde and joy!”

“A classic car?” Rarity’s interest suddenly spiked. Beyond her most notable hobbies and enthusiasm for fashion, Rarity had a soft spot for classic equestrian vehicles from era’s long past. Beautiful chrome, splendid curves and idealistic trims with matching stylization made her spirits soar! “Oh my stars, darling! I would love to help you bring such a faded family heirloom to a proper shine!”

“Yer’ more keen on this then that short Applebuckin’ faze last month!” Applejack applauded, stopping in her tracks as she began to yank on the latch for the barn door that towered over them. “Original tires were flat as pancakes, oil was turned tah sludge, break fluids wer’ the kiss o’ death, bahtry belonged in ah museum, fuel lahns backed up and ah family of Raykin’s needed tah be ahvicted from the engine block.” Applejack shrugged. “Nothin’ me n’ Big Mac couldn’t fix! But beyond that, it’s in complete workin’ order! It just needs the help of ah proper craftsmare after such ah heavy tuneup!” With one powerful jolt, Applejack pulled the latch back and swung the doors wide open to reveal the vehicle inside. “Lo an’ behold! Ain’t she a beaute?” Rarity coughed as the door uprooted a fine layer of dust as it swung open and she blinked as a blanket of debris particles obscured her vision. “Why, with one word, how would you describe such ah sight?” Rarity continued to blink as the dust settled, revealing the gnarled hulk within.

“Junk…” Rarity muttered, without realizing just how blunt her chosen word was.

“That’s the kinda word ah was thinking of mahself-” Applejack triumphantly stated, before choking on her words. “B-beg yer pardon?”

“I… I mean…” Rarity stuttered, suddenly growing flustered. “Applejack, darling… it’s… it’s in a rather… sad, state of disrepair, don’t you think?” Rarity stepped into the barn, her boot heels striking the floorboard like dulled hammers as she surveyed the ‘wreckage’. The car could barely be identified under such a heavy layer of dirt, scuffs and dulled chrome. It was almost like it didn’t even have a tarp on it to begin with! “It’s going to need more then some tender-loving care to clean up this mess!”

“Shoot, Rares! Yer breakin’ mah heart here!” Applejack frowned, visibly disappointing by Raritie’s lack of enthusiasm for the car. “This is ah bonafahd Couga’ Elimenatah! Mah Pa’ got this fer his weddin’ day! Ah thought ya had a soft spot fer these ol’ rahdes!”

“Oh, I do, Applejack!” Rarity explained, bringing a hand to her chest. “But this… even under so many layers of horrid dirt and dead leaves… it’s so ghastly! Imposing and brutish! It’s… it’s-” Applejack snickered.

“There’s a reason mah Pa had a likin’ fer this muscle! Ma had the same contempt fer ‘er as well but ah single rahde helped change er’ mind!”

“My stars! I doubt we could even get down the road in it’s current state! It looks so thirsty as well-!”

“-Of course it’s Thirsty! The Cobrah Jet 428 wasn’t made fer savin’ gas! Ya’ll have sumthin ‘gainst big-block engine’s, Rares?”

Yes, Darling! A fine Equestrian vehicle has no need for a gas guzzler of an engine making 300 horse power!”

More like 335, 70’ was ah good year fer’ the Cougar

Rarity sputtered in horror. “-Sweet Celestia, Applejack! For what purpose would anypony on Zacherle’s green earth need so much power for!? That is more then double the horsepower of the beloved Corvette!”

“-Coulda’ sworn yer C1 Corvette was sportin’ ah V8 with prahde…” Applejack finished, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth with playful mirth. This revelation took Rarity aback. For all her knowledge of vintage and classic cars, she knew surprisingly little of their inner-workings.

“-Well… I… I am driving a restoration Corvette! With a modern engine!” Rarity huffed, stamping her boot in abashed defiance.

Mahdern as in original factory sealed 53’ Blueflame l6! Which ah helped restore!” Applejack replied, her tongue pushing out further. “And Ah’ve been doin’ yer brake fluid and oil changes all this tahm! Makin’ damn sure tah give that eight cylindah engine ah good ol’ shine!” Rarity huffed in her usually hoity and high pitched tone. Sighing, Applejack bent over and retrieved a bucket of water. “Nevermind that, sugar cube. Ya’ll agreed to help with some work today, and ah would like to bring er’ inta town one of these days. Can’t do that without yer handiwork!” Rarity relaxed her shoulders, trying hard to find anything of redeeming value in the sad, dilapidated wreck that stood before her.

“I’ll try, darling…” Rarity sighed, taking hold of the bucket handle. “I am known for my stubbornness after all…”

“Darn tootin’!” Applejack winked, patting Rarity on the shoulder. “Make free use of anythin’ in the barn tah help bring some life back into this beaute! Don’t worry ‘bout makin’ a mess, s’long as ya bring er’ back to her former glory! Unless this is ah job ya can’t handle-”

I spent half of Winter-Wrap-Up trying to pamper up a pile of twigs Twilight called a nest. I failed

“-Doubt anypony could blame you there, Sugarcube!”

“-but I will not fail today! This may be a nigh impossible job, but I am more then willing to help lift some work off your shoulders, Darling!” Rarity flicked her mane over her shoulder with her usual flair.

“Knew you were the right pick fer the job!” Applejack chuckled as she stepped out of the barn, offering a wave of her hand. “Who knows! Ya’ll might even take a likin’ to ‘er!”
Mildgyth
Best Pink Pony - For being the first person to reach 50k uploads, managing the site's featured images, and countless other contributions to the site.
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Moderator
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta
@Mildgyth

Rarity slapped her hands free of any dust particles as she surveyed the tools at her disposal. Buckets of water, a spare vacuum cleaner, gallons of soap and paint cleaning solutions, sponges, rags, polish, files and a lengthy hose. Rarity took a deep breathe and exhaled, bringing her eyes to the wreck that stood before her in it’s imposing glory.

“Rarity, you’ve done worse. You’ve seen worse. Well, ensembles and outfits that is…” Rarity reassured herself, moving closer to the mess with leery steps, the floorboards creaking under her boot heels. “It just needs a proper shine. Sure, it hasn’t been waxed” Rarity jolted as her foot hovered over a splotch of oil on the floor, slamming her foot down a safe six inches to the left. Breathing a sigh of relief at her brush with a leather emergency, Rarity straightened her stance and continued forward. “-waxed in… give or take twenty years. But no matter! My fabled Corvette was a sorry sight when I saved it from the junkyard, I’m certain I can bring the smile back to this rowdy behemoth!” Rarity stood tall over the hood, surveying the eons worth of dust and debris that coated it’s hard surface. Running a single finger across, Rarity squeaked and grimaced at the massive lump of debris now resting on her gloved fingertip. “but old habits die hard...” The unicorn gulped loudly, only to catch a glimmer of hope. Deep in the crevice she had created, glistened an orange hue. “Oh, what a delightful complexion!” Her spirits returning with proper vigor, Rarity tapped her horn with a giggle and summoned the proper cleaning utensils and dirt dissolving solvents. “Well, Mr. Engine Displacement! You may be a thirsty ruffian and sport a face only a farmer could love, but I promised my dear Applejack I would make you the talk of the town!” Rarities horn glowed as the hose hovered above, ready to strike. “And I must say, for a brute, you have such a magnificent coat under all this grime!”

And with that, soapy Armageddon commenced.

Rarity assaulted the muscle car from all sides. Torrents of water and car-paint friendly solutions drowned the dirt and grime under a barrage of sponges and rags that produced an avalanche of foam and bubbles. Waltzing around the vehicle in confident strides, Rarity meticulously scoured every inch of the frame with a keen eye, focusing her magic with precise intent.

Slowly but surely, the glowing hue Rarity discovered on the hood began to spread across the frame as water dissolved the soap and dirt alike. Rarity knelt low to survey the smaller details of the muscle car, in particular, the silver cougar emblazoned with sheer pride on the protruding nose of the hood. Bringing her eyes along the black stripes streaking along the trim, Rarity giggled at the letters exposed under her onslaught of sponges.

“Eliminator…” Rarity muttered, running her gloved palm over the name displayed on the stripe. “Such a ruthless name…” Her eye was soon drawn to the vibrant colors ripping through the grime that now oozed down the side panels and onto the floorboards. The orange bodypaint was certainly worn from neglect, yet it still breathed life into the hulk that stood before the Fashionista. “Well, it’s not the first time a Goliath has shown his softer side to me.” Her onslaught continued, more and more grime peeled off the frame as the hose danced across the roof and sponges retreated back to the buckets to relieve itself of it’s dirty payload.

As buckets poured over the entirety of the muscle car, Rarity levitated several sets of rags to her side and began to ring them through the grill with quick, hasty movements. “Somepony has not been flossing their teeth, it seems!” Rarity laughed, squeaking as she swung her boot out of the way of a river that was now streaming out of the barn doors, bringing with it a swamps worth of debris. Composing herself, Rarity stepped back to admire her work. “Oh my stars!”.

The front grill was completely black! Despite her desire for the chrome hulls of vintage vehicles, there was something alluring about the aesthetic of the Cougar. By all means, it was a thug of a vehicle, but as more and more of the muscle car began to emerge from it’s disgusting prison, the more she was finding herself enticed by the brawny framework and sharp ridges. Running her hand along the stripe and pressing her fingers into the damp steel, Rarity giggled at the beautiful contrast between the clutter and the shiny Cougar that now stood dead-center in the barn.

There is a reason Applejack was so fond of this car, and now, Rarity was beginning to understand. Gripping the hard ridges of the car almost felt like she was caressing the firm biceps of Applejack herself…

Rarity shook her head. “Compose yourself, darling! You have a job to do and a farmer to impress!” Summoning the hose, Rarity squished sponges across the spoiler at the rear as she ran the hose into the wheel-wells and undercarriage, growing so enthralled by her successful cleaning job she didn’t even notice the spiders scurry over her boot to escape the watery assault as their webs washed away in the ever-growing stream of soapy debris.

Whipping her forehead with a bare forearm, Rarity uncapped a water bottle as the last of the soap dispersed from the body.

“My my my… how you have grown on me, you sly devil…” Rarity purred, taking a long satisfied sip from her bottle before surveying her handiwork. “Amazing what a Unicorn could do in only half an hour! Oh, who am I kidding, I am Ponyville’s most esteemed seamstress! Polishing a dusty car could been done in a pinch!” Satisfied with her quick work, Rarity dropped most of her cleaning supplies and summoned the vacuum cleaner with a single flick of her horn, dragging the beat-up device in her gait as she swung open the doors of the Cougar Eliminator and went to work.

Dust and dead leaves billowed out of the interior as Rarity helped unseat rubbish from the seats and dashboard, flicking her mane and trying her best to avoid the cloud of dirt she was creating. Thankfully, her quick interior job was nowhere near as intensive as the exterior and before long, the car was as clean as it has ever been since Bright Mac hid the Cougar under a tarp all those years ago.

“Well, Rarity, you were quite the narrow-minded mare when these barn doors opened an hour ago, but now, you’ve made a genuine piece of art out of a barnyard wreck! All you needed to do was give it some tender-loving care!” Rarity congratulated herself with the clap of her hands, flicking spare specs off her gloves as Celestia’s sun shined through the cracks in the barn and reflected off the now spotless air scooped hood.

But something was amiss, this victory felt hollow. Rarity had so much time left before Applejack returned from the field! And the car couldn’t just spend the rest of the day in the barn, especially considering how long it stood in a dark corner, forgotten…

Rarity brought a finger to her bottom lip, tapping the floorboards with an impatient foot. “Parking you out infront of the farmstead would simply be picturesque! A fitting reward for a hard-day’s work on Sweet Apple Acre’s!
Mildgyth
Best Pink Pony - For being the first person to reach 50k uploads, managing the site's featured images, and countless other contributions to the site.
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Moderator
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta
@Mildgyth
Rarity firmly believed even Applejack could have heard her startled yelp the moment she kick-started the Cougar and it ROARED to life on one turn of the key. And yet here she was, a mere hundred feet outside the barn.

Utterly terrified of what she was behind the wheel of.

“Yer just gonna sit here all day behahnd the wheel of this monsta’?” Apple Bloom inquired curiously from her seat on the steps leading into the farmhouse.

“Well… I… I drove far enough as it is!” Rarity stuttered, huffing in her signature hoity manner as she patted the steering wheel with caution. “Applejack is such a hard worker! Seeing this beast on her doorstep in such a pristine state would lift her spirits like a fine glass of rye! Such a display would not have been possible without my cautious driving skills-”

“You drove out of the barn like Dance Fever pelvic thrusting his way across a disco floor.” Sweetie Belle deadpanned, looking up from her homework, much to her older sisters high-pitched disdain.

“Sweetie Belle! What a ghastly thing to say!” Rarity gasped, bringing a hand to her dress in an appalled manner. She wasn’t exactly wrong, though. With every step on the gas peddle, the car shot forward like a bull charging like he caught a glimpse of a red cape! No matter how Rarity pushed or tapped the pedal, the Cougar’s engine roared and it’s tires tore up the dirt road with hostile intent!

Or that’s how Rarity interpreted it, anyway.

“Well, I’m not wrong, Rarity! This car just wasn’t made for somepony like you!” Sweetie Belle explained, getting up from her seat next to Apple Bloom as she gestured at the engine block. “You did a great job cleaning up the Cougar but maaaaybe you can leave your present alone for Applejack to appreciate? You know, with a full tank of gas?”

“Ya’ll could at-least switch off the ignition, Rarity.” Apple Bloom suggested, growing wary of the low rumble the Cobra Jet engine was transmitting into the ground. Rarity frowned, she intended to be the one to present the car to Applejack with her usual flair but the idea of waiting for so long in such a stuffy interior wasn’t doing her mane any favors.

“You have a point, Sweetie Belle.” Rarity sighed in defeat. “You know me, I always like to give my accomplishments a bit of magical glamour and style, If Applejack could appreciate this muscle car back when it was a junkheap in the barn, then she would be more then happy to see it cleaned up without any additional flair at the wave of my horn!” Rarity hovered her hand over the key in the ignition, only for her ear to twitch at the sound of Fluttershy’s wing-beats approaching the farmstead from the lonely main road. “Oh, whatever could Fluttershy be doing out here for?”

“Fluttershy was goin’ tah do ahr Bahology homework” Apple Bloom started, only to cough as Sweetie Belle love-tapped the farmfillie’s side with an elbow. “HELP with ahr bahology homework!” Rarity chirped in a chirpy tone.

“Oh, what a splendid thing for her to do! I hope you thank her up and down after all is said and done!” Rarity smiled as Fluttershy touched down on the dirt road, shedding a piece of paper or two from her satchel of books. “I doubt she knows much about car’s, especially one like this. But I’m certain she could appreciate the color I brought to such a beautiful shine!” Rarity pulled her hand away from the ignition and placed it onto the headrest of the passenger seat. “Oh, I simply must know how last nights dinner outing with Discord went! I hope her evening blouse made her the star of the night!” Rarity swung her leg over the center console as she attempted to climb out the passenger side door to greet her dear friend, only for her ankle to wack the stick shift and her supporting foot to slip into the footwell.

Pushing the gas pedal to the floor.

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom flinched as the Cougar’s front wheels leaped off the ground and the engine hauled the nearly 2-ton muscle car into the Orchard, clouding the two fillies in a cloud of exhaust and dust as Rarity’s blood-curdling shriek somehow dwarfed the deafening roar of the V8 engine.

Welp, she’s deahd…” Apple Bloom deadpanned in shock as Sweetie Belle cupped her mouth in sheer horror.
Mildgyth
Best Pink Pony - For being the first person to reach 50k uploads, managing the site's featured images, and countless other contributions to the site.
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Moderator
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta
@Mildgyth
Rarity flailed her arms and legs as the torque pushed her back into her seat, grabbing the steering wheel out of sheer unadulterated horror as the Cougar stampeded through the Orchard in anything but a straight line.

“STOP!!” Rarity shrieked, stamping her boot down into the footwell, trying in vain to hit the brake. “STOP!! PLEASE!!” In her hysteria, Rarity’s flailing hands and exasperated shrieking clouded her judgment as every attempt to stop the car ended with the Cougar only going faster, ripping through the orchard maze in a deafening orange blaze of glory. Blinking away tears, Rarity frantically scrambled her hand over the stick shift, trying in a frenzied vain attempt to shift the car into a lower gear, but the breakneck speed the car was traveling proved too much of a distraction for the fashionista to bare, especially considering the massive apple tree that was quickly approaching her large-nosed hood. “FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, STOOOOP!!” Rarity pushed against the steering wheel as her foot frantically tried to find the brake in her hysterical panic attack to no avail. The heavy weight of the vehicle coupled with the lack of power steering forced Rarity to utilize her magic to veer the car out of the path of the tree.

Straight off the path and into the dense forest of apple tree’s, resulting in a crescendo of distraught wailing as the Cougar now veered into the path of a fence. Freezing up, Rarity shut her teary eyes and the braced for the impact, the shattering glass, the sensation of steel crushing her limbs and bones, readying herself for the bitter end.

Rarity bit her lip hard as wood splintered off the front bumper and bounced off the frame. No glass shattering, no steel buckling under pressure, no pain…

The car didn’t even slow down!

Rarity opened her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, panting away her anxieties as her boot soon found the brake she so desperately sought for as the car tires veered back onto the main road outside the orchard.

Straight into the path of an oncoming 18-wheeler.

Rarity shrieked louder then ever, so loud even the truck driver jolted from his seat as fashionista slammed the gas pedal to the floor, ripping the Cougar off it’s front wheels as the heavy frame careened over the cold shoulder and swiveled back and fourth off the road. Peering behind her for the briefest of moments, Raritie’s eyes widened at the site of the massive Peterbuilt jack-knifing it’s trailer just a mere 10 feet behind her rear bumper. Pulling her eyes away, Rarity shifted the stick into the highest gear and floored it once more. The surrounding foliage and roadsides turned into a blur as the orange muscle car tore it’s way across the countryside to avoid certain death.

“FOCUS, RARITY!!” The Unicorn squealed through bated breath, not once relinquishing her steel grip on the steering wheel as she eased off the gas to regain traction on the asphalt. “FOCUS!!” Rarity knew that her spastic flailing would eventually be the end of her behind the wheel of the nearly two-ton barge now soaring down the road like a wrecking ball. With a firm grip and restrained breathing, Rarity braced against the torque of the engine and focused on the road. With every push on the pedal, the unicorn eased her aching calves as a surge of energy pierced her boot and ran up her leg. The pit in her stomach no longer choking her of air, Rarity took her eyes off the asphault and peered into the rear view mirror, finding that the 18 wheeler had regained it’s traction and was returning to the road with a very disgruntled but nonetheless unhurt driver behind the wheel. Sighing in relief, Rarity blinked away her tears and wiped her sweaty brow with her glove. shuddering at the sensation of her soaked leather, Rarity winced as she took a quick glance at the speedometer.

She was going well over 100 miles an hour!

Easing off the gas, Rarity straightened her shoulders and slowed the muscle car to well below the intended speed limit. It was in this slower pace that Rarity slowly but surely became accustomed to the fierce engine at her command. The torque that pulsed along the entirety of the frame to the heartbeat of the engine that growled with a thirsty muster. Every push of the pedal sent the same energetic jolt through her boot that coursed over her entire body. The sheer strength of the engine at her disposal that scared her so was no more… now… it became a tool at her whim. One for her to command. Blinking at the sight of a passing sign that advertised Sweet Apple Acre’s cider, Rarity nodded to herself and peeled off the road and back onto Applejacks property.

Crawling over wet grass and muck, Rarity Slowed the vehicle to a halt and breathed deeply, bringing her hand over the keys in the ignition once more.

Only to hesitate.

“Oh now, Rarity… you’ve had your fair share of fun.” She uttered with half-hearted sincerity. A brush with one’s own mortality is not something she particularly enjoys, even considering the number of dangerous adventures and exploits she has partaken in with the company of her friends. Wrapping a classic muscle car around a tree or wedging it under the wheels of an 18-wheeler are definitely not one’s she will look back on fondly. Yet… Rarity squirmed at the prospect of what she was experiencing behind the wheel of the Cougar. The power that surged up her legs, the torque that delivered such a delightful sensation in her stomach! “But… call it delirium of a disordered mind… I think I’m starting to grow accustomed to this brute!” Rarity tested this theory by pushed her sore foot into the accelerator, revving the engine. Rarity bit her lip as her body quaked at the raw energy that rumbled the steel frame with every push of the pedal.

A grin began to spread across her face as she pulled her hand away from the ignition and placed it firmly on the gear stick, revving the engine with growing bliss before pushing the stick forward with one violent thrust of her arm.
Mildgyth
Best Pink Pony - For being the first person to reach 50k uploads, managing the site's featured images, and countless other contributions to the site.
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Moderator
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta
@Mildgyth
“Oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness!” Fluttershy cried aloud as she rushed through the apple orchard with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle in hot pursuit.

“PLEASEDON’TBEDEADPLEASEDON’TBEDEADPLEASEDON’TBEDEAD!!” Sweetie Belle squealed in terror, sprinting not to far behind, her eyes darting from tree to tree in a fruitless attempt to spot the fabled Cougar Eliminator somewhere in the foliage.

“Cahm down, Sweetie Belle! Ya’ll ain’t gonna find Rarity flailing ‘round the orchard like yer sister!” Apple Bloom deduced, attempting to reason with her upset friend.

“Oh my goodness, Rarity can’t even muster the courage to drive her Corvette on the highway! We need to find her before she gets herself hurt!” Fluttershy mournfully declared, frantically peering through the aisles of apple trees.

“Well it can’t be that hard tah fahnd ‘er! That there Cougar was as braght orange as tha evenin’ sun! We just need tah look fer the tree with the giant car innit-!” Apple Bloom pondered aloud, much to Sweetie Belle’s high pitched and tearful displeasure.

“Oh… have you girls spotted any tire-tracks? Deary me, maybe she careened straight into the forest!” Fluttershy cried, doing little to hide her anxiety. Apple Bloom was moments away from running back into town for some much needed backup, only for her ears to pick up the sound of a familiar engine roaring to life somewhere in the distance.

“Ya’ll hear that!?” Apple Bloom inquired through two set’s of squealing voices. The sound grew louder and louder, accompanied by a hoity scream from an even louder set of lungs. “Raritie’s ahlave! Thank Celestia!”

“But for how long!?” Sweetie Belle wailed as her sister’s uproar of laughter was approaching with alarming speed.

“Listen to her screaming! She probably doesn’t even know how to stop that beastly hulk of a car!” Fluttershy whimpered, Stepping back from the trembling treeline as apple’s and leaves cascaded down from their branches. All of the sudden, the bush at the very end exploded into a flurry of twigs and shredded vegetation! Cowering in fear, the trio blinked as a muscle car emerged from the flying debris and slammed into the muck, spraying strands and globs of mire in all directions.

“RARITY DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO STOP!! I CAN’T LOOK!!” Sweetie Belle sobbed, obstructing her vision with her palms. Apple Bloom simply blinked in response to the carnage.

“Ah don’t think she intends tah stahp…”

“SHE’S GOING THROUGH HER DEATH-THROES!!”

“Look’s lahke she’s havin’ fun tah me…” Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow as Rarity continued her whooping and hollering, doing donuts in the clearing not even 30 feet ahead of them before peeling out of the underbrush and tearing down the road, leaving the trio in a rather confused state of shock.

“AND TO THINK, I HESITATED!!” Rarity cheered, hopping up and down in her seat as she tore through the orchard, enjoying every sensation that coursed through her veins, for the mare finally understood the appeal of the Cougar with delightful enlightenment. It was a reflection of the farmers own endurance, of her own self-worth and power. Rarity always assumed a big, burly muscle car was an echo of the driver’s anxieties and faux stature of egotism and misinterpreted vigor. In reality, driving a car like this was about control and determination.

If the makers of this beauty did not have that philosophy, then Rarity was going to be damned sure to change that sentiment, because she was at the reigns of this beast now!

Throwing her weight into the steering wheel, Rarity shifted gears and swerved through the biggest puddle yet, splashing the surroundings and the entirety of the Cougar in thick mire. This act caused a hearty giggle to arise from the Fashionista, at the expense of the vehicle losing traction and fish-tailing around the corner. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as the car now had the mobility to avoid several apple tree’s as it veered off course and through the rolling hills of Sweet Apple Acres, spraying mire in her wake as the heavy frame shifted up and down over the terrain. Apples bounced, leaves flew and mud sprayed into a furious storm of vehicular debauchery. Shifting gears once more, Rarity swiveled the wheel and rectified her destination, forcing the engine to gulp down another gallon of gas as she veered around another corner.

Straight over an abandoned applecart!
Mildgyth
Best Pink Pony - For being the first person to reach 50k uploads, managing the site's featured images, and countless other contributions to the site.
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Moderator
Humata, Hukhta, Hvarshta
@Mildgyth
Applejack heaved as she thrust her boot heel into the base of the apple tree, knocking the last few apples from their perches and into the right basket. Wiping her brow with a confident smirk, Applejack pulled her battered headphones out of her ears, putting an end to Coloratura’s newest Country-inspired album.

“Gotta say, listenin’ to some good tunes helps pass the afternoon workload as quickly as breathin’!” Applejack declared, satisfied by another hard days work. “Ah owe Rainbow Dash some well deserved gratitude fer her advahce! Still hafta return this here MP3 play-” Applejack seized up as the fence behind her splintered under the brute strength of an unstoppable force skidding to a halt. Spinning on her heel, Applejack gasped at the sight before her. “Heavens to Betsy!” The farmmare honestly couldn’t decide who she would focus on first, the Cougar Eliminator that now looked grimier then it once did in the barn or the trail of destruction in it’s wake! Judging from the mess, it looks like the brute launched off the applecart that Big Mac said he would pull back to the farm last week!

Suddenly the muddied muscle car door opened, revealing a frazzled yet excited Rarity, who ginger sunk her once pristine boots into the muck, something she spent much of the day avoiding in the slightest quantities.

Yup, going to have to focus on that revelation, I tell you what.

“OOOH… I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!!” Rarity hollered, thrusting her clenched fists into the sky in an impromptu declaration of victory against the back roads of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Ahm… happy tah here that, sugar cube!”

“I HONESTLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED THE PEDAL TO THE FLOOR-!!”

“That honestly sounds lahke somethin’ Pinkie Pah would do-”

“I EVEN JACK-KNIFED A PASSING FREIGHT TRUCK-!!”

“Well it sounds lahke yah had quahte the eventful-Wait what?”

“I’M ALSO RATHER LIGHT-HEADED FROM THAT APPLECART JUMP-!!” Rarity bit her tongue and gave out a hoity squeak as her boot slipped in the muck and sent her tumbling into Applejack’s open arms.

“Whoa nelly! Watch it with that there horn of yer’s! Ya’ll could poke an eye out with that thing!” Applejack chuckled, holding the unicorn close as she staggered on wobbly legs. “Deep breathes, Rares! Take yer tahm! Let the Adrenaline subsahd!” Rarity followed the farmers orders to a tee, doing little to hide the pleasure she sustained from brushing against Applejacks six-pack once more.

“Oh deary me!” Rarity cooed, running her hand through her eloquent mane with a subdued giggle. “Pardon my… excitement… from today’s rather enthralling learning experience! 335 horses in one massive displaced engine can shift a ladies nature!” Rarity giggled away as her adrenaline rush subsided, bringing with it abrupt horror.

The car, covered in so much mire and debris it rendered her initial cleaning victory from this morning a moot point. The wreckage she left in her wake. The stack of apple crates that she nearly upended crashing through the fence and nearly ruining an entire days harvest. Suddenly, the events that transpired in the last few minutes quickly dawned on the fashionista.

“Oh my stars!” Rarity barked, her tone high pitched. “Applejack! I’m… I’m… I’m so sorry!

“Really, It’s all-”

“I was so foolish to believe rolling the Cougar out of it’s shelter was such a good idea! The body is even more worse for wear then this morning!”

“No need tah be so hard on yerself-!”

I never intended this to go so far! I was so arrogant to think!”

“RARES!!” Applejack yelped, placing her hands firmly on the unicorns shoulders. “It’s fahn! In fact, ah couldn’t be happier!”

I take full responsi” Rarity choked on her words. “Happier? Applejack! Darling-!”

“There’s ah reason this here muscle car was so well loved by mah Pa! Shoot, Ma put more of ah beatin’ on the body then anyone in the clan!”

“But-but I made such a mess! I-I devalued the Cougar! There isn’t exactly a surplus of these lying around in warhouses-!”

“And it’s alright! Ahm just happy you finally see value in er’!” Applejack smiled, pulling Rarity closer. “Seein’ here caked in muck don’t bother me none! That’s what she was made fer! Tah have a barrel o’ fun!”

“Really?” Rarity asked softly, her anxieties melting away as she gazed into Applejack’s beaming facial features. “I intended to park the Cougar in front of the farmhouse in all it’s defiant orange glory as a surprise but… I suppose this will also do… that is, if you aren’t mad about me putting so much stress on the frame!”

“Shucks, Rares! How did ya expect I got yer l6 Blueflame? Sure didn’t get it through bargainin’, that’s fer sure! If savin’ Equestria Faust knows how many tahms can give us the prestige tah pop out another vintage engine with one holler, I bet mah brightest work duds the two of us could put in a good word tah give the Eliminator a limited reproduction run fer spare parts!” Applejack smiled, patting Rarity on the cheek, causing the joyful unicorns knee’s to wobble further. “Besahds!” Applejack ran her hands down Raritie’s dress and grabbed her by the waist, lifting the fashionista up out of the mire and onto her shoulder without even breathing hard. “Ah’ve already got me ah Rarity!” The unicorn uttered a hoity squeal as Applejack lifted her skirt to reveal her triple diamond cutie mark.

“Oh Applejack, you sly ruffian, you!” Rarity laughed, her booted legs kicking as Applejack swung her to an fro. While today did not go as according to plan, and she certainly could have forgone the brush with death, Rarity couldn’t deny the mirth she now felt for the Cougar Eliminator and all it’s rough edges, it was certainly a learning experience she won’t soon forget! “So, Darling, do you have anything in mind for the rest of the day?”

“Well ah’ve got tah track down that truck driver and give him an apology-”

“Parish the thought, sweetie! It was my fault! I’ll give him a free makeover if it comes to it! A lady must take full responsibility for her actions, after all!”

“Darn tootin’! Ah lady like you must also take responsibility fer puttin’ a hole in mah fence!” Applejack piped up happily, causing Raritie’s smile to falter. “Doubt that’s the only hole, either. You up fer some extra handiwork this evenin’, Rares?”

“Maaaaybe?” Rarity mumbled enthusiastically, twiddling with her fingers as a gasp erupted from the treeline. The two mare’s slowly turned to the source of the noise, only to come face to face with a blushing Sweetie Belle.

“I… I found them!” Sweetie Belle called out. “Their fine, Apple Bloom! Applejack just lost her glove in my sister’s panties again!”