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C Money
Duck - bundle of quacks

Yay! Threeway Dateing!… Oh, wait. BOO! I’m Not Doing That, I’d taste your spit from you kissing Sunset!… Y’know, I’ve been thinking. I don’t think most people go for gingers. Yet we two have been… Guess freckles are cute and sexy to us!

Though being branded as gay is a far less serious crime as beastiality.
FAIC HER IN THE ASS LIKE SHE LOVES JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

60's Bush Fan
A: Bestial.  
B: Gay.
You present as a lose-lose zero sum paradox, some sort of epic quandary for the ages, when it is quite clear that option A is the superior choice.
C Money
Duck - bundle of quacks

Well, I did say that this is our third date together. So that makes her my girlfriend. One does not simply share thier girlfriend. Sorry buddy, her delicious cinnamon mouth is all mine to taste.