@Background Pony #1EFC  
Well… guess I gotta go buy a truck, then.
 
… and get a driver’s license.

@ShimmeringStallion  
What actually happens:  

@YetAnotherBrony  
They buy trucks, actually.
 
Then they go pantsless and let it roll out when they open the door.
 
It’s the flaccid flesh carpet, ’yo.

@ShimmeringStallion
 
I wonder if guys with large penises ever buy small cars, as if to say, “My penis is so big, I don’t NEED to compensate for anything!”

@thanatosG3  
CQC ain’t nothin’ compared to SPC: The act of learning everything sensual that can be done during lovemaking to make the experience intense as possible.
 
For that is the power… of Small Penis Compensation.

@ShimmeringStallion  
Or, alternatively, small enough that they shear the fabric enough that the integrity of the straps fail.  
I would buy her a new one anyway.  
And if you think anyone who can do something like THAT is slow and unskilled in CQC, you’re a bit of a fool, because I’m talking about doing this with a handgun, specifically an S&W 500.

@thanatosG3  
You haaaaad to catch me in a debating mood… at six in the morning when I haven’t slept.
 
… So if you shot them, the bullets would have to be MASSIVE enough to completely destroy the tops of the straps, while high enough not to hurt or pierce her skin!
 
The only COOL way it could be done, admittedly, is if you fired from a diagonal standpoint to cover more surface area, but you would give her some gunpowder burns from the only feasible position you’d be capable of performing that action from!
 
… And even THEN, you’d have to wait for the damn thing to drop… AND now you owe her a new bra! AND you’ll need to pay medical bills after she’s done kicking your teeth into your skull!
 
… AND Dental bills!!!

Kay.  
Shoots the tops of the straps off,causing it to slip  
I didn’t touch them. My bullets did.

I make no promises.

Patrick Star: Touch.

Er, what? I don’t speak Italian.

That’s fine, I was planning to avoid the mountains and go straight to the beauty of your hidden valley.
 
No boulders. Got it.

@red_angel
 
Or my lower-decker-pecker-checker.

Mmm, her left “boulder” is smaller…

@Background Pony #32A6
 
Confession time: I actually I did not.

Looks Lima someone watched nostalgia critic little monster review

Fine, then you don’t get to touch the under-the-butt-nut-hut.

Heheh. X3c

@Collin Magney
 
@chi
 
M-muh boulduhs.

Lo have I waited for someone to make the joke and see how my faith has been rewarded?
 

Are you surrrrreeeee?

Now I’m imagining Holder’s Boulder suspended in a giant unibra.
 
The mental picture’s not as weird as the description makes it sound.