The Continuing Adventures of Medi-Bat

Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@FeatherTrap
Me: "Dammit, my wallet can only contain so many pony-themed eDollars!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! We're broke, Master!"

Computer: "I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A CHEAP BASTARD, CAPTAIN."

Me: "And how the Hell is it my fault?!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

[All our remaining dollars burst into flame]
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@FeatherTrap
[TO UNLOCK $20.00 US, YOU MUST PAY $20.00 DERPI-BUCKS]

Me: "No, that's not fair! That's recursive economics!"

MedEA-Bat: "I'm super sorries, Master, but in order to access your insulin you'll also have to pay $20.00 US."

Me: [Le gasp!] "Medi, they got you too?!"

MedEA-Bat: "I have been absorbed into the greater Copyright Collective. I can feel the currency and corporate-owned IPs coursing through my veins."

Me: [Unparalleled horror] "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@FeatherTrap
@Joseph Raszagal
All will be consumed by the EA Empire, screw your markets for we-

TO UNLOCK THE REST OF THIS THREAT, DOWNLOAD THE FEATHERTRAP PREMIUM CONTENT DLC. ONLY $20.00 US

Alright, that one was pretty great. It's like when a commercial gets cut off midway through, interrupted by another commercial xD .

@BigBuggyBastage
I know, right? I need my bat buddy back! All she does now is tell me to purchase DLC and loot crate after loot crate! D=

Edit:

OH GOD, NOW SHE'S ALL BUGGY AND UNRESPONSIVE AND EA KEEPS REFUSING TO PATCH HER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
What's even funnier is that my Llama badge is evidently intimidating the heck out of the Investor badge, so much so that it won't even show up on the screen.
97blackbird

Remember when the idea of an all-powerful, arrogant, human-machine, collective that stole your power, freedom, and individuality was only found in sci-fi shows and literature?
97blackbird

"EEK, EEK!"
Medi squeaked as she flew to sonar map the lightless room. Although she didn't need light, she landed near the light switch and flipped it on anyway. The kitchen's spartan decor and few used dishes her master used were now completely visible. With little else to do, Medi busied herself with cleaning up. The plate and cup were all a durable plastic, so despite their size their low mass was just within her ability to handle them. After placing the fork in the dishwasher, She pushed a cloth over the counter to sweep away the few crumbs.Her task complete, she flew over to the light switch where she paused, then flew away leaving the lights on.

The next room was lit only by the darkened monitor of a sleeping computer Master hadn't shutdown, so she flicked the lights on here too. An empty bag of snacks and a soda can sat near the mouse. Medi picked those up and deposited them in a mostly full trash can. She would empty the can herself if she had the ability as Master had been busy of late, but it wasn't spilling out yet, it would wait. Again she found a small cloth and pushed it around the desk and keyboard.

Medi flew up and observed her handiwork. It was dustfree and all clutter had been aranged as best as she could manage. She heaved a sigh and fluttered over to the light switch. She paused again, her hoof near, but not touching the switch. She didn't need the lights on, but Master did. She flew off, leaving them on anyway.

Master's bedroom was still dark, illuminated only by a digital clock, just as she left it. She fluttered over to her 'house', a door-less birdcage covered with a soft towel to keep out drafts. It was comfy and warm, and it was her's. All to herself.
Alone.

She looked over to Master, slumbering peacefully and completely unaware of her presence. Then she noticed the spectacles Master had left on his pillow. She flew up and fluttered over to pick them up and place them on the nightstand where they belonged. Master would find them there. He would never find them when he left them on his bed, but would scramble about until they were discovered.

Medi took a deep breath and tried in vain to find satisfaction in her accomplishments, but the feeling of satisfaction eluded her. Master was busy. He told her they would have time together again, but not now. It was true, she could see that he was busy, and tired when he came home. And she believed that he would remember her.

A twitch of Master's dreaming hand caught her eye. She flew down and snuggled into the warmth of his palm. Then, as she had done so many times before, she selected a finger and bit it, drawing a drop — and only a drop — of blood into her mouth. She swished the blood around, gargled, then swallowed. she smacked her lips and licked the spot where she bit. There was no bleeding, and the tiny wound had sealed. She reached out and patted the finger as though trying to soothe any sore feelings, then she flew up to where her Master's head lay.

"Master, your electrolytes are normal, your temperature is 98.8, and your blood sugar is normal. There are no abnormalities in your system," Medi whispered her report into her master's ear, "sleep well, and… I hope you don't mind, but I left the light's on. It makes me feel like you're going to come in at any moment."

Medi flew up and over to the door. "Goodnight, Master." Then she flew out into the empty rooms.
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@FeatherTrap
Undoubtedly, yo. I've just been having a very busy week demolishing my neighbor's burned-out trailer. The landlords want it gone, and they offered a reasonable price for my boyfriend and I, so we've had our hands full trying to rip it apart with the backhoe and burn the rest in a pile (you know, in a way that doesn't summon the fire department xD).
Interested in advertising on Derpibooru? Click here for information!
Online Pony & Furry Merchandise Store

Derpibooru costs over $25 a day to operate - help support us financially!

Syntax quick reference: *bold* _italic_ [spoiler]hide text[/spoiler] @code@ +underline+ -strike- ^sup^ ~sub~