The Continuing Adventures of Medi-Bat

BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@Joseph Raszagal
"Oh jeez, that sounds heckin' adorable! I'll take all ya got!"

@97blackbird
BRB, running to bank and then to buy $100 worth of greasy garbage labeled with the lies 'Happy', and 'Meal'.

Yep, that's my plan, too. LoL

I just wish I didn't have to make another trip around the "restaurant" to have their dumpster within throwing distance. Of course, in certain parts of the 'town' I'm near, just throwing it out the window and onto the sidewalk wouldn't cause anyone to bat an eye — not that I would, but, ya know….
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@97blackbird
@Communist Starlight
@BigBuggyBastage
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Yay, I'll get a promotion for this expert salesmanship for sure! That means I get to replace my tiny paper hat with a slightly better tiny paper hat! I might just make manager by the end of the week if people keep buying like this!"

[Having said that last bit, our favorite little doctor-bat basically ensures that people indeed keep buying her greasy garbage in ridiculously large bulk orders. McDonald's sales figures skyrocket like crazy and the brand expands further, officially opening the very first "restaurant" on the surface of the Moon.]
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@Joseph Raszagal
Anything for our beloved Medi-Bat. :3

That early episode of Futurama came to mind, the one where there's a trashy theme park on the moon, with rides and tourist traps, plus that dumb-but-catchy song: "We're whalers on the moon, we carry a harpoon! But there ain't no whales, so we tell tall tales, and sing a whaling tune!"

Yes, I'll endure even that, for little Medi. She's just so damn adorable.
97blackbird

I paid only $100,005.95 for my Moon-Medibat-McMeal!

That's a real bargain when you consider that NASA paid ~ 1,600,000,000$ for their first trip!
97blackbird

There, there, NASA. Groundbreaking is hard.
Mistakes were bound to happen. Rockets were bound to crash and burn during development. People were bound to get a little hurt in the process.
Especially when you run pure O2 in the cockpit with all those prototype computers and their electric wiring…

But anyway. You did your job, now the private sector wants to do it cheaper and for a profit; and unfortunately, with a bunch of Chinese plastic Kitsch as an incentive to consumers.
Here, Have a Coke and a smile!
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
Just think: in about 50 years, maybe less depending on how the private-sector safety record for space travel unfolds in the coming decades, NASA might morph into something like the NHTSA or FAA, where they're an administration tasked with ensuring space passenger safety.
97blackbird

@Communist Starlight

Bureaucracies never die. They just morph into parasites.

Who's a supposedly good, gigantic, expensive, blood-sucking, unnecessary, burden to the taxpayers and transportation industry?
You are, NASA! Yes you are!
Oh, Look! It's wagging it's bloated abdomen, How cute!
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@Communist Starlight
Strike first, strike often. ;)

jk But to some degree, space has already seen some forms of militarization: spy/surveillance (and a few 'rumored' laser-equipped, weaponized) satellites have been a thing for decades now. If you think about it, ICBMs have had a space component to them since their inception, because they reach a sub-orbital altitude of over 1,000 km, and the de facto altitude to be considered "outer space," the Karman line, is 100 km.

Yes, I love Cold War history and Über-nerd technological aspects of it. lol

@97blackbird
Isn't that something we can sick John Travolta or Tom Cruise on…? Or is that something else entirely?
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
"In space nopony can hear your arteries clogging with thick, life-choking cholesterol! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Now, would you like to make that McDouble a McQuadruple and that small Coke an extra large? Master says that for every order I multiply in size I get an extra juice box during my lunch hour. I'm hoping to get enough to fill a small above-ground swimming pool!"

Me: "I've been playing along with this for a while now, and all the extra money is nice, but how can you keep supporting this so-called 'food', Medi? I thought you were a doctor. Heck, you're my nutritionist!"

"Don't worry, Master, this is just my side hustle."

Me: "Ah." [Puts on a baseball cap and turns it around backwards] "Word."
Communist Starlight

Crushing inequality
@Joseph Raszagal
It is now canon: Medi is a gangster as a side gig.

—————
[Crashing]
Joe: * Sighs * I'll take care of it. [Grabs a broom]
Joe: [Walks into the walk in fridge, seeing the commie drinking all the applejuice, disappointed it isn't alcohol, and throwing it on the ground.] Alright, git.
Commie: [Hisses]
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@97blackbird
Good point. Although it's good to be able to blame someone. ;)

Let's also try to not think about exactly who has the capability of single-handedly launching the largest deployed nuclear arsenal on the planet.


@Joseph Raszagal
LoL! Reminds me of my old endocrinologist in Toledo, who recently got out of the medical business because the insurance companies kept wanting to call all of the shots (no pun intended), when it came to the care of patients. Apparently those insurance dopes forgot the one key ingredient in the scheme, the one that pharmaceutical companies (especially Purdue) were always sure to include: kickbacks. B)
97blackbird

Hello, I sat down to write on this blog, with no real intention to write anything, and this is the result.
I don't know you all well enough to write you, so forgive me.

Location: Mc Moon-ald's. Earth's First Moon-base.

"Are you admiring the Earthrise, little buddy?

The little grey batpony smiled. She hadn't been, but the view even in her peripheral vision was awesome! Medi took a quick sip from her tiny orange juice box to wash down the bite of cheeseburger she had been absently chewing.
"I was just thinking about how peaceful it is up here." She looked up at Joe, who was sitting slightly hunched over in their egg-shaped booth-cubicle. The Mc-Moon-alds was pressurized to allow normal dining, but it wasn't earth-sized and it's dining areas had to conform to the design restrictions demanded of structures dealing with pressure differences. If she wasn't looking at her food or out the window, claustrophobic feelings crept up quickly. She wondered if the threat of violent decompression was truly what made her uneasy, as she wasn't bothered by tiny, confining places on earth. "What about you? Are you thinking of home?"

Joe looked over at their friends. First to the Cat-Commie, still sulking about the lack of alcohol at the first moon-base, and probably a little hung-over from draining his stocks on the trip up. He had only taken two or three bites of the capitalist fare, and his drink sat untouched, ice sullenly melting. Then, a bump and mild oath announced Blackbird unintentionally knocking his head again with a dull thud against sloped back wall of their booth. Only Big Buggy Bastage sat unmoved. His robotic form immediately recognized the restrictive conditions and instantly adapted, but there was really no need for him to do anything but plug in to an outlet and recharge. It was a dream of theirs for this lunch, but the reality was wet blanket. For all of it's novelty, the trip to the moon was looking like a 'went there, got the tee-shirt', kind of experience.

"I'm glad were all together," Joe said, clearly trying to give voice to the positive, "this is an opportunity we'll never have again."

Medi surveyed their friends crammed around the tiny table also and took note of the relative discomfort of each. "It's weird up here," she began, "The sounds here are strange and omnipresent; it's all compressors, and hissing air, and electric humming, and voices that sound hollow echoing off the walls. And yet the outside is dead silent. No sounds come from the window, from outside." Medi shivered, but not from cold. "It's ultimate peace and tranquility, but it's also…" Medi's voice trailed off and she stared at her tiny piece of cheeseburger.

"You wanna go home?" Joe asked?

Medi looked up and nodded. "I know back there it's all screaming and insanity, but this trip isn't the pleasant respite I had hoped." Medi's lower lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears in the low gravity. "I don't want to be ungrateful, I love you, Joe," Medi turned to their friends "I love you all and I really appreciate the trip and our time together, but I just wanna be back home!"

"Fine by me!" Blackbird announced. He loudly sucked at the last drops of his coke through the straw. "No refills! This place is worse than socialism!"

Medi gave a brief, but relieved chuckle.

"And how would you know that!?" Commie Starlight retorted, bristling at first, but just as quickly settled. "Home is good. There is vodka at home and there is none to be had here." He sat up and preened a moment. "Home is good," he declared again, "I too desire to go home."

Big Buggy Bastage unplugged. "The best travel is traveling in agreement."

"Travelling with friends!" Medi leapt into the air and struck the very low ceiling due to the fractional gravity, but bounced off and flew to each of her seated friends to give them a fuzzy hug and excited "EEEEEEE".

And so, despite the exotic location and the expense, they would only have the one meal at the Moon-ald's, not caring to spend any more time doing other tourist-y diversions other than each buying an over-priced tee-shirt, and chipping in to buy a custom tee for their Medi-bat friend — their fuzzy, and adorable, center.

When the hatch opened to the return rocket, Medi led the way, speeding through the portal making it clear to them all. It was not the trip they had hoped, but it was the trip they needed. They were all reassured of what was important. The conditions at home were not ideal, but it was living! Up here was tranquility; completely devoid of conflict, but an artificial peace. The only life at moon-base were those who were shuttled in, preserved for a time, and then shuttled out. No real life stayed there because death was there. It was a cemetery. Enjoy what is offered, look nice, stay in your box, and you have ultimate peace. However, ultimately, you're dead.
Home was a messy, smoky, cauldron of chaos, destruction, and conflict. But it also had creation, rebuilding, and life. And with that life was friendship. Earth was the place that set the example for them all on countless trails and dirt roads all over the globe. A branch from a bush may be crushed and trampled, but it will continue to send out new growth, even if that new growth is also trampled. Again and again, the bush will continue to push forward new growth until the branch's new shoots rise untrampled and green. Yes, untrampled and green, full of life because it has persevered and crossed the path where those who travel selfishly and without regard for other life tread. And having persevered through those injuries and insults, they now bloom!

Medi hugged them all as they came through the airlock. They were all going back home, even though home wasn't a pleasant, peaceful place to be then, they chose to face it because that is life. A constant struggle. Absence of a struggle is artificial and leads to death. Medi and her friends chose life.

The rocket blasted off taking the group of friends and leaving the dead world behind. They had found the moon was just as peaceful as advertised. So they left it behind.
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