The Continuing Adventures of Medi-Bat

97blackbird

Ahhh! He's here!
Stop talking. Stop talking.
You don't want to be retconned!

We love the evil mouse….

It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after aaalll….
97blackbird

@Communist Starlight
"Quack! You don't want to do that, Evil-Mouse!
There's a really big fan base. You'll make them mad! So mad, they'll not buy your inflated tickets to see the new 'Star Disney' addition or drink the overpriced blue milk."

(just read that in Don Duck squawking)
97blackbird

@Joseph Raszagal
IMO-Lucas himself put the franchise in ICU. Disney moved it to life support.
Evil Mouse don't need to squeeze to snuff the life out, its like flickering candle right now. I still haven't seen the last one. Don't even think about it till topics bring it up.
What about y'all?

Probably the best thing to do is let the franchise lay low for a while.
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@97blackbird
While this nonsense began with a thorough trashing of the prequels, I'm in complete agreement that the new trilogy is a pile of hot garbage. The third one… hoo-boy, there's some rage inducement there.

If you wanna get into spoilers, I'm happy to oblige. Of course, I also recommend watching it for yourself, that way your hatred can be all the more solidified via firsthand experience.
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@97blackbird
Pod racing, MASSIVE & STUPID overuse of CGI, shitty scriptwriting, and of course Jar Jar, killed my love of the franchise.

I'm only kidding about the pod racing. But I do like the old theory that Jar Jar was actually a deliberate, manipulative villain. It explains so much.

As for the Corporate Mouse episodes, I haven't been interested in the slightest amount in seeing them. That's how bad Lucas fucked up, IMO. Like I said, I really used to be a fan.
97blackbird

After seeing the Phantom Menace, some friends and I were discussing the film. Jar Jar came up and comments were made about his speech and character design.
Funny friend mentions that they could have used the Jedi Mind Trick on Jar Jar to raise funds.

"Just imagine Jar Jar fighting the suggestion to put his tongue to good use and arguing: 'But Mesa no suck c*ck!'"

"Then Qui Gon waves his hand: 'Yousa will suck c*ck.'"

The image of Jar Jar carrying a sign advertising that service springs to mind every-time I see the character. Now try to look at Jar Jar with his shock-numbed tongue hanging out and not imagine a satisfied customer zipping up.
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@Communist Starlight
I think he was saying he hasn't seen any of the newer films.

@BigBuggyBastage
The Pod Racing arcade game with the forklift-style manual grip controls was legitimately one of the only good things I've seen come out of the prequels. Another would be some of the Clone Wars content in Star Wars Battlefront 2 on the PS2. Everything else can take a hike xD .

@97blackbird
Jar-Jar: "Me'sa no prostitute! Me'sa has self-respect, me'sa treat my body like a temple!"

Qui-Gon: [Waves hand] "Nope, you're a whore."

George, far off in the distance: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@Communist Starlight
You haven't watched Clone Wars?
Big mistake!
Drop everything now, and watch it!

@Joseph Raszagal
I think he was saying he hasn't seen any of the newer films.

Quite correct. I've seen the three Lucas prequels — I had to force myself to, no pun intended. We're all human, I realize mistakes can be made, and so I kept hoping that Phantom Menace was just one big, ugly, putrid fluke. Before that point, perhaps showing my naiveté, I'd believed Howard the Duck was the only truly "bad" film Lucas made.

But by the third film, I'd lost hope. I shouldn't have been laughing at Anakin nearly burning to death, after his duel with Obi Wan, in Episode III: Revenge of the Shit Sith. In fact, I remember commenting aloud in the theater, once he caught fire, "wow, talk about a bad fuckin' day!" It made others in the audience laugh, so I didn't feel too terrible. I had ZERO emotional resentment toward the supposed villains. Palpatine slightly terrified me in the original trilogy, when I was a small child, and here he was, getting his ass handed to him by Samuel L. Motherfuckin' Jackson — god, how cool would it've been to see him go full Jules Winnfield?! But no, we got lines like "no, no, no, you must die!" that sounded as if they were read by some creepy old dude at Walmart who needed to use their inhaler, with Anakin staring on, mouth wide open.

Oh, and if you guys need a good laugh, check this out. It's very relevant. XD

ALL THAT SAID, we did get some good stuff out of these, as Joe mentioned. There was (is?) a tremendous amount of talent in the Star Wars biosphere, so despite my constant railing on the films, I've absolutely nothing at all against anyone who enjoys any of the creative products to bear the Star Wars name. Same goes for those involved in the making of them.

Well, 'cept George.



EDIT: There is no fuckin' way I'd let that Jar Jar creature anywhere near my junk. The only thing I want to see Jar Jar do is attempt to juggle three running chainsaws, and have a horrible accident. :)
97blackbird

@Communist Starlight
No. I haven't seen much of Clone Wars. (that's the animation, correct?) I saw the prequels and that pretty much killed it for me. (Although 'Rogue One' was a very worthy addition, IMO.)


@BigBuggyBastage
Lucas may have a pretty good imagination, but he is absolute shite at dialog. And many of his films have awkward scenes that aren't supposed to be awkward. ("Red Tails" first 15 minutes come to mind.)

Furthermore, I think the first two 'Star Wars' films were good for two reasons. First, they had input from his first wife. I think her contributions were critical in forming Princess Leia into the kick-ass character she is. Also, she undoubtedly helped with dialog in scenes that she felt were interesting. Combat isn't interesting to women, typically; so it is no mystery why we have laughable dialog like, "Break out your visual scanning" during the climax of the film.

Second, Lucas had push-back and limits. Noone thought then that he was a god-tier filmmaker, and so when cast, producers, and crew found something they felt was bad or wrong, they said so, and sometimes prevailed against Lucas' 'vision'. Budget also kept him from doing weird things like having Han Solo be a half-android, frog-like, character. Imagine Leia falling in love with that! (Oh wait, you can… just watch 'Solo' and see Lando and his android…*awkward-cringe)

I paid to see Episode 7. the name escapes me… but most other films post-prequel trilogy I was treated to by my bro's family. His kid loved them. I just sat unmoved and shook my head. I just don't flippin' care. And that's the problem. You can find better stories on fanfic sites. Stories that actually take you on a journey with a character, not just drag you and them along on an event timeline.

The saddest thing is seeing Lucas of 1978 say, "A special effect on it's own is a boring thing. You need to have a reason to watch it" I feel that all the recent films violate that statement and are a series of special effects strung together. Again, "Rogue One" is the exception.

However, I think the franchise can be salvaged. I haven't seen "The Mandalorian", but there's enough good press to convince me it's worthwhile, someday I'll watch it when it doesn't directly feed the mouse rat. And the "Clone Wars" as was said, is also watchable. The serial nature and lower budget of these productions may prove to be the saving grace: A return to bare-bones storytelling and relate-able world-building. Perhaps that will entrance the next generation and keep the Force alive.
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@BigBuggyBastage
I think an interesting thought exercise at this point would be to name things from the prequels that we actually did enjoy xD .

Dibs on the scene where Papa Palpatine talks about Darth Plagueis the Wise.
BigBuggyBastage
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@Joseph Raszagal
Dibs on the scene where Papa Palpatine talks about Darth Plagueis the Wise.

DANG IT!!! XD

I think I liked the idea of pod racing.

At the time, I was a car nut, and into all sorts of racing, so I felt like this should've been…I dunno…more? And I still cannot put my finger on it, but it should've been more dramatic, meaningful, realistic, etc., and left the "comedy" bits in the garbage where they belonged (like Jar Jar, haha :P ). Maybe it was the announcer(s) that bugged me? It was a two-headed alien, right? Constantly telling us shit we were seeing right on the very screen in front of our eyes, and never EVER STFU? Between that dopey character, and the constant cartoony CGI that I was sick of by the 20-minute mark of the movie starting, it kinda grated on my eyes and brain too much to like.

Dammit, you said things we DID enjoy, didn't ya? :/

It was cool to see Samuel L. Jackson in Star Wars. Um…oh yeah, Christopher Lee as Count Dookie!

What else…ya know, this is like going through the leather seats in your car, after your ex-girlfriend slashed them all with a switchblade, and yanked out half the padding, just to get enough spare change together to buy a slider at White Castle. LoL I'll have to sleep on it.
97blackbird

While not perfect, I'd have to say I liked seeing two Jedi casually taking on the internal defenses of a fleet flagship and the conclusion drawn was "a stalemate".
It at least demonstrated that Jedi were powerful entities and worthy of the respect and deference paid them.

"You were right about one thing, Master; the negotiations were short."
97blackbird

@BigBuggyBastage
Pod racing being more of a Death-match, space-faring, version of "Twisted Metal" would have been enjoyable, could still have had comical moments, and surely has the potential to bring the tension needed. I'm sure there are plenty of similar themed games out there. Twisted Metal was just one I remember being a light-hearted, death-match that I believe could be made to fit a PG film.
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@BigBuggyBastage
@97blackbird
There's a good reason why the extended universe and the video games worked more with the Pod Racing. It was a pretty cool idea worth expanding on, it was just bogged down in the film by a terrible child actor. Like I mentioned earlier, that Pod Racing arcade game where you actually sat in the pilot's seat; that shit was sick =D .

If they could have nabbed a better child actor and maybe upped the stakes during the race, it probably could have been straight-up awesome.
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