Fanfic Writing General

Mr100dragon100
Artist -

reformation is the best
the story is not done yet but how am I doing so far?

this is for a future artwork for my AU with a group of wolfponies who turned normal ponies into them out of revenge

here, is the story and I added (") because is characters talking, tell me if I need it or not because Grammarly won't let me.


"Ah! A Wolf pony!" one mare said.

"There she is, After her!" A stallion yelled.

"Do not worry, my son. I will hide you; those ponies will not find you," one mother whispered.

"There they are! They are getting away!" One pony in a crowd shouted.

For days, innocent ponies in various towns turned into wolves, chased out-of-town or hid legends of a race of ponies who can turn into an animal at will.

Ponies see them as vicious monsters, who attacked ponies for no reason, hunted innocent cows, and stole their food.

Little do these ponies know this is far from the truth, though there was an exception.


Meanwhile. In one woodland. There Is a town that seems stuck in time; even the ponies wore the same clothes their ancestors wore.

Here existed a small kingdom of wolf ponies; how they acted is far from what most normal ponies think of wolf ponies.

All Wolves live in packs, but these had enormous Packs. And each belonged to their private group.

Similar to what ponies call a family.

They hunted deer, wild boar, duck, turkey, and the occasional rabbit in the woods. Raised cows for milk, sheared sheep for wool, raised goats and chickens for meat and eggs, All non-sapient (as in they, never talk).

They are safe within the woods, where they play, socialize, hunt, eat and start packs with each other.

Life for them was peaceful.

Yet, something strange was going on in the kingdom. guard ponies went into four houses, they smelled something strange coming from
four wolf ponies who were out for days and lived in those houses.

Two days later, the king and queen ordered a town meeting.

All ponies came to the throne room to hear what their leaders had to say.

The king named Alistair knight, and the queen fern breeze;

Got up from their thrones, the king said.


"You all may wonder why I brought you all here." Alistair Night announced.

"We heard that four ponies left here did not come back for days, and smelled like regular ponies." Fern breeze said in a severe tone.

"Aaron moonstone, Hazel blossom, Moonlight Hunter and Ivy song!" The king yelled.

All the ponies gasped in shock as the four ponies came up to the king and queen.

"Where have you four been?" Alistair said.

" Have you proofed that we've gone?" Aaron moonstone said in a low voice.

"A guard told us you and the others smelled like a normal pony when you all came back," said Alistair.


Hazel blossom, Moonlight Hunter and Ivy song were showing signs of fear.

Aaron moonstone, yet, tried to stay confident.

"HA!" laughed Aaron; My pack were out hunting when we encountered some normal ponies. though we scared them off, Aaron said.


"Fern, show the entire pack that they are lying," said Alistair.

The queen went back, pulled a book from behind the throne, and threw it at the floor.

The four ponies were deathly afraid.

"This book was the book that transformed our ancestors into wolves; where did you get it?" said Alistair

All four; ponies stutter and whine, "Answer Me!" the king yelled.


Aaron moonstone made a submissive yet angry pose, like a wolf, and explained.

"W-We found some witches, in a forest, we took their book without them knowing we were there,"


"Why, why did you do this?" said fern breeze


"It was years ago; I was only but a little colt. One night I woke up hearing screaming. My mother, father, and I tried to run because some strange ponies barged into our house.

My parents hid me in a bush as they fight off the ponies; those ponies had guns with them.

I saw my father got shot; he still tried to fight,

and my mother; they both won though they had injured my father, and I ran to him.

Although he was unconscious. I then saw what those ponies have caused. Houses destroyed, belongings stolen, and wolf ponies lying on the floor; I did not know if they were dead.

It wasn't until you released your guards and them and you fight those ponies, we won.

Days after that. I found out some of the pack were dead, my father recovered though he could not walk very well, anymore!

After so many years of anger after that day, I wanted to get revenge after what they had caused; seeing that wolf ponies being born was not enough; I knew what I had to do.

I gathered my mate and two others to join me in making more wolf ponies by using a potion to make us turn ponies into one of us.

So in case another attack comes, we'll be bigger and stronger; these ponies will pay for what they had done!"

what do you think so far, it may not be done yet, though what should I work on?
Mr100dragon100
Artist -

reformation is the best
here is the rest, how is it?

Everypony gasped in shock, Even the king and queen!

How could you do this? said Alistair knight.

They might be regular ponies, but they are not like the ones who raided us! said Fern breeze.

The four ponies yelled, whine (almost crying) and tried to make them see their way.

The two rulers roared in anger and turned into their wolf forms to look threatening.

The crowd was in an uproar.

Both Alistair knight and Aaron moonstone tried to one-up each other eventually; Aaron gave in and went to a submissive pose in fear and defeat and backed away.

Then the four ponies heard the king's voice again.

Leave… and never come back! Said Alistair knight in a harsh, angry, low voice.

Three of the four ponies responded to this being unfair. Furthermore, stating that the king is corrupt. Aaron remained silent.

Silence! Yelled Alistair knight.

Aaron, what is your choice? said Alistair knight.

Aaron was silent; finally, he spoke.

We'll leave. Aaron reluctantly said.

Later on, all of the ponies in the town attended the departure of the rouge ponies. All four ponies had tearful goodbyes to their families.

We see why you have to do this, though we won't allow it; it's cruel and will continue to make ponies see us as monsters, now go. said Alistair knight.

After this, The four ponies leave their home forever.

Later in the forest, the four ponies fight; blamed each other for this, but Aaron stopped them.

I know we have failed, it's my fault, yet this is not the end. Said Aaron.

What do you mean? said Hazelblossom

I mean, we have a chance to make a new pack; we just need to find the ponies who turned into wolves, and then we will show what a strong wolf pony pack should be, and we will be the perfect example, come we have work to do. Explained Aaron.

They all followed Aaron; their story ends here, but we will see them again one day, but we'll see if Aaron will succeed in his quest.


this is the end of the story, I feel the ending narration needs to be better but know how it's like a cliff hanger but I want it to sound more epic or natural for a book and not for a DBZ like narration ending, what should I do?
Background Pony #82C5
Prompt 1: Twilight and Izzy visit Hasbro (AU, with ponies of various generations in one world and Ponyland being part of Equus, Ponies on earth)
Prompt 2: Rainbow Dash meets up with Tianhuo (Crossover with TFH, Ponies on earth)
Prompt 3: Rap battle between Twilight and Oleander (Crossover with TFH, Ponies on earth)
Prompt 4: Discord visits the G1 Universe
Prompt 5: Twilight and Izzy meet up at a cafe (AU, with ponies of various generations in one world and Ponyland being part of Equus.)
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