MYMC05E5: Mane Smelody Reaction Script (C-i): Jazz finds out why ponies buy the hoof polish

Background Pony #D766
Pipp Petals: Jazz, are you seeing this?
Jazz Hooves: Yeah, I guess ponies really want to remember their time here.
Pipp Petals: We’ll sell out of these treatments by the end of the week if this keeps up! We’re hitting our stride!
Butler: AND we’ll be able to cover all our pending litigation liabilities!
Jazz Hooves: Well, ponies did like our hooficures before.
Pipp Petals: I know, but not like this!
Butler: I can’t remember the last time ponies stood in line at Mane Melody AND inside this salon for THIS long for a hooficure! It’s almost sundown by now!
Pipp Petals: The word of mouth is going to be incredible!
Butler: And soon enough, our merchandise will be broadcasted to the entire Equestrian population through digital billboards, online ads and sponsorship posters!
Hmm, we might even add golden scratch-n-sniff lottery tickets to promote our new brand even further!
Background Pony #D766
Jazz Hooves: [whimpers, coughing]
[Opens a window before Posey Bloom walks into the scene]
A little fresh air never hurt anypony.
Posey Bloom: Puh-lease! You know what we all know. Whatever’s in that shiny hoof cream is stinky to the extreme! Our snouts are falling off over here!
Jazz Hooves: I don’t know whether to agree or be offended!
Wait. If you don’t like the hooficure treatment, why are you all filming it with your phones?
Posey Bloom: Oh, that’s just the “Mane Smelody Challenge”.
Jazz Hooves: The what now?
Posey Bloom: It’s, like, the latest viral endurance test. If you can get through it without your eyes watering from the smell, you tag a friend and they have to do it!
Jazz Hooves: So, our newest hoof treatment is now a joke online?!
Posey Bloom: Yeah, but it’s a really good one! Hey, show Jazz your phone.
Jazz Hooves: Oh.
Earth Pony (live-streaming): Oh! Yuck!
Jazz Hooves: Oh, my. It’s trending?!
Pipp Petals: Whatcha looking at, Jazz?
Jazz Hooves: [gasps]
Butler: Are you referring to the positive trend in our gross profit margins?!
Background Pony #D766
Pipp Petals: What are you gasping at?
Butler: GGASSSPPP, have influencers taken a whiff of our main brand and took them to online review channels??! If SO, then I must obtain contact information, so that our business can do a promotional collaboration with our new potential sponsors!
Pipp Petals: You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
Butler: Or perhaps something scarier—a troll account admonishing our royal family for no good reason!
Jazz Hooves: Yup, that’s it! It was one of those… ghost hunting videos on YouHoof! I’m, uh… afraid! Ah! G-g-g-g-ghost!
(Jazz throws phone out of the window)
Toots: Ah, my phone!
[door closes]
Butler: For shame, Miss Jazz Hooves! This is HARDLY the time to be watching livestreams while at work! You have GOT to remain vigilant for any new customers entering into our establishment for their special hooficures!
Pipp Petals: [snickers] You’re just like Hitch. What a scaredy cat.
Butler: HAHAHAHAH, such a very timid yellow-livered fellow! I honestly cannot fathom the rationality of these towns folk here who had voted him as Sheriff! May the warming sun of Celestia shine upon his soul…
Background Pony #D766
Pipp Petals: Hey, glam-ponies!
Butler: “What is up, fellow Pippsqueak netizens??” This is how you young zoomer folk say it these days, right?
Pipp Petals: Thanks for making today the best day in the history of our little singing salon!
Butler: As patrons of this respected establishment, we thank you for participating in this promotional event! We hope that we can make this an annual occasion to all our loyal clients and subscription members!
Pipp Petals: [deep breath, sighs] Success smells great!
Butler: As we are currently on the scent of a new and improved polish product line, we hope that you will join us again and purchase our upcoming odorless brand as our dedicated test subjects—I MEAN—premium customers!! HMHMH…excusez-moi!
Background Pony #D766
[ponies laughing about Pipp]
[Posey pulls out her phone to watch a livestream]
Shutter Snap: (Live-streaming) What’s up, trendwatchers!? I’m Shutter Snap! Today in trends, everypony in Maretime Bay is lining up at our very own Princess Pipp’s salon to do the “Mane Smelody Challenge”! Can you stand the stink?! [gagging]
Pipp Petals: Hey! Whatcha watchin’?
Butler: Is it a make-up tutorial featuring our HOT NEW brand online??! Whoever this is, I want that livestreamer brought here, so I can hire them as our new advertisement agent!
Background Pony #D766
Posey Bloom: [gasps] Hey!
[Jazz throws Posey’s phone into the trash bin]
Pipp Petals: Why did you just trash Posey’s phone?
Butler: GGASSSPPPP, was the phone decor NOT in theme with our new golden product line??! Why, OF COURSE! We need to expand our outreach with other forms of promotional merchandising if we are to keep Mane Melody from losing its solvency and liquidity!
Jazz Hooves: Umm… everypony should focus on the zen of the treatment when they’re here. Phones are a distraction! [sighs]
Butler: Hmmmm… know what I think of your opinion, Miss Hooves?
I think you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!! Why let these newfangled devices let us be distracted from our work when we should be instead focused on improving and expanding our business ventures beyond this rural town?!
(Throws purple cellphone in the same trash bin)
(Pipp Petals leaves before Jazz apologetically retrieves phone for Posey Bloom)
Posey Bloom: Hmph!
Jazz Hooves: [sighs] Why can’t I just tell her the truth?
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