Crazy Headcanons

Snips became a business like pony selling merchandise but he was better than Flim and Flam because he was selling legit stuff.

When Scootaloo and Rumble got hitched, they vowed to be there for any foals they had.

@DarkObsidian  
That looks geocentric. If we take AJ lassoing the moon from the comics as representative of Equestria’s relation to the moon, then yeah, that model makes total sense, assuming it isn’t to scale. Bright side is, fuel for Pony in Space fics.

Um, I know this sounds a bit silly, but would anyone here be willing to read through the first chapter of a fanfiction of mine and check it for spelling and syntax errors? But it is a semi-dark, futuristic, alternative timeline story about an alternative reality in Equestria in which all the ponies have become immortal. As a German I am of course not a native English speaker and would need a little help here ;-)
 
If anyone is interested, please send me a PM.

Heaven help the pony, mule, donkey, zebra, bison, yak, mole, or mole rat who crosses paths with Gabby’s evil counterpart in the mirror universe.

@Korora  
You Her Royal Majesty of the Highest Order of Griffons, Queen of Griffonstone, Grand and Benevolent Ruler of All Griffondom, Lady Gabrielle of the House of Beak and Talon.

@Brass Beau  
But don;‘t worry - she’s incapable and unmotivated, a decadent ruler who lounges on her throne while her Empire feuds and crumbles.

@Latecomer  
It’s mostly the younger generation that seems susceptible to her influence. The older generation is building resistant cooperative to bring peace back to their nation.

@Brass Beau  
So… fucking zoomers?

The only “normal” ones of the Mane 6 are Applejack and Rarity. Twilight Sparkle has Asperger’s and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Pinkie Pie is bipolar. Rainbow Dash has Borderline Personality Disorder and a crippling, crushing inferiority complex. Fluttershy has crippling social anxiety.
 
Also, when we see Luna at the Nightmare Night celebration, she goes down the list and ticks off all the boxes for clinical diagnosis of severe paranoia.

@Background Pony #BEBC  
Would Rainbow seem “normal” if she was a guy?

@Background Pony #BEBC  
Applejack has survivors guilt and minor obsessive compulsive tendencies. Rarity has minor cases of obsessive compulsion and social anxiety. Her condition manifests in slightly different ways to Applejack, Twilight and Fluttershy. She may have a minor case of clinical depression.  
@Latecomer  
No. She’d be pretty much exactly the same.

@Latecomer  
Not really, no, though she might be closer to being different in a way that’d be a little less noticeable. She’s belligerent and hypercompetitive, with a bad case of what some people used to call “short man syndrome,” in addition to seeming to need constant reassurance from those around her that she really is the fastest, the best, etc. Going through life with a chip on your shoulder and something to prove can really derail and ruin your life regardless of your plumbing, but people usually think of it as a masculine character flaw.

@Background Pony #BEBC  
I wonder if her parents constant praise and encouragement actually caused her inferiority complex via imposter syndrome.

@Brass Beau  
That’s plausible. It’s all very well to have high standards and high expectations, but can be very hard for the kid who’s constantly at the top of her class and still being told “you’re not living up to your potential, you need to push yourself harder, we want MORE from you.”

Here’s a fun one: each member of the Shadow Five knows how to play a classical instrument.  
Lemon Zest plays the cello.  
Sunny Flare plays the violin.  
Sugarcoat plays the piano.  
Sour Sweet plays the flute.  
Indigo Zap plays the trumpet.

Fluttershy and Iron Will used to date, but now she’s seeing Discord. And Iron Will is dating Daisy Jo, one of Applejack’s cows.

Capper Dapperpaws from the movie is not an “Abyssinian” at all. He is a lost Khajiit, and he has wares if you have coin. Catrina from G1 was another.

Pinkamina and maudileena are plutonic rocks that need earth pony magic to grow, because magic is the only way to make quartz and foids coexist in the same rock.

Cats in Equestria are sentient and capable of speech. Opalescence just doesn’t have much to say.

@Background Pony #BEBC  
That look says it all.

@Background Pony #BEBC  

 
What about Celestia? Is she normal, or does she have something too?

@Twiface  
Outside of the guilt she felt over Luna and Sunset she’s pretty well adjusted.

@Brass Beau  

 
Celestia’s personality changes a lot from season to season, depending on the writer. The mysterious immortal chessmistress sun-goddess of Season 1, who plays the long game and has plans that unfold over centuries, does not have much in common with the late-season Celestia who sits around the castle all day personally leading tour groups of schoolchildren and eating too much cake, and who has a crippling phobia of chickens. She can be nearly anything you want, to fit a story. Crazy Celestia can work well for short black humor pieces.
 
I’ve seen one at Spacebattles a few years ago where she has a terrible guilt complex and drinks way, way, way too much, when she’s alone at night, mainly about things that happened centuries ago but that still haunt her. Magical alicorn metabolism means this isn’t as unhealthy for her as it would be for a human, but it’s still an excruciatingly unpleasant learning experience for her worshipful Faithful Student to see her drunk to the point of incoherently wallowing in self-pity.

@Background Pony #BEBC  
There’s nothing wrong with spending time with schoolchildren (Celestia runs her own school, after all) and I think the ‘Cakelestia’ thing is just an overused joke at this point. A crippling phobia of chickens, however, is strange and concerning. Some people might say that the ‘mysterious immortal chessmistress’ thing was just a façade, but I do agree that the writers in the later seasons may have somewhat degraded her in the name of comedy.
 
Does this mean that Cadence is the only well-adjusted alicorn, or does she have problems too? I can’t think of any particular flaws with her myself.