Crazy Headcanons

@ice1517  
Yep.  
Wasn’t you that posted about that Vinyl POW headcanon?

The Shadowbolts from Equestria Girls have pony counterparts in the Crystal Empire. All five of them were born several decades ago and were flung into the modern day by Sombra, though physically and mentally they’re the same age as most of the other ponies.
 
In addition, Pony!Indigo Zap is Lightning Dust’s great-great-great-great whatever. Zap had a brother who got out of the Crystal Empire before Sombra got to it and started a family. Zap and Dust get along great, though Dust likes ribbing her “Grandma”.

Twilight gets off to smelling, nuzzling and licking the cutie marks of other ponies, and having the same done to her.
 
Babs Seed has claustrophilia, meaning she enjoys tight spaces. She also likes wearing clothes that are several sizes too small for her (like a 12YO wearing a 7YO size). Apple Bloom, meanwhile, is claustrophobic and finds her cousin’s obsessions both baffling and grating.
 
Conversely, Apple Bloom has macrophilia but also has acrophobia.

Sassy Saddles and Fler-de-Lis/Fleur Dis Lee/whatever spelling you prefer are both extremely pure-blooded unicorns, with few if any ponies of another race in their ancestry for hundreds if not thousands of years. Nearly all of these “pedigrees” originated from a desire not to mix the races common in a less enlightened age, but those few that continue the practice generally do so for the sake of tradition or to pass on an “exotic” appearance to their foals.
 
If you’re wondering what a purebred earth pony looks like, Troubleshoes Clyde would probably be the best example. The Apple family tree also has mostly earth ponies in it, but that’s due to circumstance; it’s nearly unheard of for the other pony breeds to have the green hooves that earth ponies are generally blessed with (it’s less atypical for alicorns, but they’re scarce and generally busy with important things), so marrying into a farming family rarely seems enticing to them.
 
In a few years, Spike and Rarity will have a huge argument regarding his crush on her and her habit of flirting with him whenever she needs a favor, and that night Spike will sneak into Carousel Boutique and eat the most expensive piece of jewelry in Rarity’s personal collection.

@HJSDGCE  
yup, that’s was me.
 
wow, I just realised how much of a cruel person I am to Vinyl. First she becomes a POW, then gets physically and mentally tortured, then has to live with the person that done this to her, and dosnt know that Octavia is trying to help her and regrets the torture, then Vinyl starts to suffer drug/alcohol abuse, and also suffers from major depression.
 
I really need to do something to cheer the poor girl up

@ice1517
 
“Happy families (and ponies) are all alike, but every unhappy family (and pony) is each unhappy in their own way.”
 
Basically, happy ponies usually don’t make good stories. However, you should take care to balance happy and unhappy to some degree, as too much unhappy will cause extreme resentment towards you, the author, even making some think you must have some deep, festering hatred for the character when none exists.

@YetAnotherBrony  
You know, I just want a few stories and that that just have happy ponies.
 
Also, I have a lot more depressing shit for Vinyl. (I actuallt like her, its just for some reason, I always want to give her a shit life… Im a monster :C)

canterlot high was visited on separate occasions by GI joe

Luna punishes her Night Guards by assigning them impossible tasks like guarding a cake from Celestia:
 

Despite her fragile appearance, Fleur-de-lis is actually a very skilled fighter, and terrifies even the strongest and toughest of ponies.
 
She is a black belt in several types of martial arts, such as Neighzillian Jiu-jitsu, capoeira, kickboxing, judo, karv maga, tae kwon do, kung fu, karate, muay thai, savate and others. she is also an expert at boxing, street fighting and brawling, and amateur and gecko-roman wrestling.
 
Basically, if you challenge her to a fight, you would end up with a lot of broken bones and eating though a straw for the rest of your life.
 
Despite winning several tournaments and small time matches, she has always denied people trying to sign her up for big league martial arts broadcasts. Fleur says that, even in competition, she would never deliberately hurt some pony, as it goes against her nature, and that no one would ever buy such a thin and sweet mare as a ass kicking machine. That, and she said that “Why would anyone pay to see a math only 5 seconds long?”

@ice1517  
My headcanon Sombra would love to fight with your headcanon Fleur de Lis, though he prefers the bloodiest and most lethal of battlefields because to mere street matches.

Flash is very protective of his female relatives, whom he constantly worries about:
 
His sister Lightning, who had a bad experience at camp and is always morose about it when she isn’t blindly angry.  
Cousin Trixie, who is always on the road alone, and her sister Star, whom had alot of funny ideas about cutie marks before seemingly disappearing.
 
They never come to him for help, but would have a hard time saying no should they ask.

@PonyPon
 
Though even he was hesitant at first to forgive his uncle Wind Rider.
 
Neither Twilight nor Shining Armor know it, but Vinyl is their first cousin.

@ice1517  
I guess whether or not you’re a monster hinges upon whether you want to see her suffer or want to see her persevere. There’s a bit of a difference.

Warning: Friendship Games spoilers: Shortly after Human Twilight transferred to Canterlot High, the Dazlings cornered her and attempted to “persuade” her to build three more of her magic-absorbing spectrometer for their personal use. Thankfully, her new friends showed up and convinced the sirens to back off before things got too out of hand.

@Scrounge  
What a coincidence, I just though up this headcanon: Twilight has a photo of the Siren amulet shards in her office. This means she recovered them. She used the shards as a component of her magic spectrometer, since they respond to magic and can absorb it.

@CobaltTheMadMage  
I DO want to see her have a nice happy normal life, but I keep giving her all the depressing shit for some reason :(

While the Humane 6 combat real magical dangers at CHS, Mystery Mint has her own crew of background humans who regularly investigate events that seem to be supernatural, but inevitably turn out to have been caused by some guy in a rubber mask with access to special effects, a la Scooby Doo.

@redactedpony  
hilarious

Twilight’s spectrometer starts acting strange once it begins absorbing magic. It is pulled towards the magic and opens on its own. Later this pull gets stronger and at a certain point Twilight is unable to force it closed while it drains magic. It’s almost as if it has a mind of it’s own…
 
Midnight Sparkle doesn’t want world domination, or vengeance against Cinch and the students who are mean to her. All she wants is to learn about magic and acquire more. The spectrometer’s primary function is to measure magic and contain it. So what if, after the device absorbed some magic, it gained sentience (like how Spike gained the intelligence required to talk from absorbing magic) and Midnight Sparkle’s desire to have as much magic as possible stems from the spectrometer’s “mind” fusing with her along with the magic. Which would explain Twilight’s radical shifts in personality when she gains and looses the powers.

simon petrikov aka ice king met sunset shimmer once

Zecora is not a full zebra. Her mother was a full zebra, while her farther was earth pony. This was looked down by the majority of her village, as the were(and still are) very intolerant of other races.

@ice1517  

 
You know they actually made an official comic about this…

@I don’t know…  
That wasn’t official.

@PonyPon  
Really… Crap…