Alternate Endings and Deleted Scenes: Warp the show for fun and profit!

@Jarkes  
So him and Maud - now we just need Trixie to have somehow contributed to her reign of villany.

Here’s one I made earlier - an alternate ending to School Raze, after Cozy is taken away in a cage and/or straitjacket.
 
CELESTIA: And perhaps one day with a lot of help, even Cozy Glow might come to actually understand the true meaning of friendship.  
LUNA: Indeed - and perhaps I, who was once nearly so foolish myself, could be the one to help her.  
APPLE BLOOM: Us too, right?  
SWEETIE BELLE:Of course!/SCOOTALOO: I guess…  
GALLUS: Yeah, yeah, - is their anyone you ponies don’t try to be friends with?  
SMOULDER: Course not - they put up with you don’t they?  
SILVERSTREAM: Ooh, does that mean we might see her back at school next year for like, remedial friendship lessons or something?  
Beat.  
TWILIGHT: Oh no.  
STARLIGHT: No way.  
SPIKE:Never.  
Everyone laughs. Cut to next scene.
 
(This is actually kind of an un -warping, since what we got in canon feels more like something form the preceding pages.)

(Here’s one done in the style of Avengers)
 
Season 8 Episode 26:
 
???: Equesssstriansssss…They are not the cowering wretches that I thought they would be after all these years…they stand…they are united, and therefore cannot be dealt with directly…
 

 
???:To face them…I will need servants…now…where-ever will I find those…?
 

Bump

Are complete episode and possibly arc re-writes too much for this thread?

@lasty  
We could always start another thread that focuses on revamping a season if need be?

@lasty  
Literal line-by-line ones? Probably. Outlines should be fine though.

@Latecomer  
Like what I’ve been doing in this thread, but not following the episode’s story or changing it pretty noticeably.

@lasty  
Well isn’t that just a fanfic?

The Last Problem
 
Twilight: I remember a time when I thought friendship wouldn’t last forever.  
Luster: Really?  
Twilight: Yeah. I even accused my friends of not even caring that I was moving away. Of course, then I realized that that was stupid in just…just so many ways.  
Luster: Example?  
Twilight: I mean, it’s pretty easy to go from Ponyville to here. Rarity travels all over the place just for a slightly different fabric, I don’t know why I thought she wouldn’t swing by to visit me every now and then. The whole thing was like that. Like, they’d been my friends for almost a decade and I thought they just suddenly didn’t care about me for no raisin? I’m embarrassed to even admit I thought that. Because it’s so dumb _{of me.} Anyway, now that we’ve saved those easily-cuttable couple minutes, maybe we can actually find some things out about the CMCs or what the former-princesses are doing or see if the Pillars are all still alive or find out what Flurry and the Cake twins sound like or friggin’ anything about Li’l Cheese.  
Luster: I see what you’re saying. The moral, the ‘friendship lesson’ as it were, is that just because ponies aren’t miserable about you not being as close as usual doesn’t mean they don’t care. Also, that you can be the star student in the Princess of Friendship’s school, even if you think friendship is stupid and a bigger waste of time than debating who Spike will end up with.  
Spike: aww…true, though. Hey, I wonder how our old friends are doing?  
Applejack: Me n’ Rainbow are probably together! We were in love th’ whole time, don’t question it.  
Pinkie: Knocked up by Cheese Sandwich! You are now imagining Weird Al’s sex noises! You’re welcome!  
Rarity: I…guess I progressed? why am i the only one to go gray?  
Fluttershy: i use discord for cheap transportation and free lunches. and nothing else.  
CMCs: School teachers.  
Gallus: Stand around with a spear.  
Sandbar: I screw a yak.  
Yona: Big now.  
Smolder: Use a sextet or something.  
Ocellus: Bring Smolder drinks while she uses a sextet or something.  
Silverstream: I lurk around in the moat outside of a school! It’s not creepy!  
Ocellus: What a satisfying conclusion to our individual and collective stories.  
CMCs: At least one of you got a line in the finale. We’ve been here since season one. We were the b-squad, the second team of important characters. Now look at us. lasty doesn’t even give us our own lines here.  
Ocellus: _{maybe if you three had stepped up your ‘defeating the season’s final boss’ game…}  
Starlight: Office job.  
Sunburst: longing for a mare’s touch.  
Starlight: What?  
Sunburst: Less-important office job.  
Trixie: Starlight’s professional hoof-me-downs and constantly regretting trying so hard to get a job I hadn’t thought through any further than ‘friend close’.  
Tirek, Chrysalis, Cozy: …  
Twist: Acthellerated aging!  
Rainbow: Haw-haw, everyone’s future sucks but mine!  
(other creatures’ future explanations, cut for time. that’s why they’re not just fan-fic!)  
Apple Bloom: Apples and potions! …most of them apple-based.  
Sweetie Belle: The hot one!  
Scootaloo: Living with my aunts. They’re a same-sex couple, you know.  
future-lasty: That’s nice.  
Babs Seed: Cuttin’ hair, ovuh here!  
Gabby: I can smile wider than my own face!  
Gummy: Big now.  
Cheese Sandwich: Straight givin’ it to your waifu every night!  
Granny Smith: Force-ghost. …that’s right. Ah was a Jedi all this time.  
Neighsay: Married a dragon.  
Gar-Gar: constantly throwing up…forever! BLARRRGGH!!!  
rutherford: Explode. Explode again. Many creature celebrate and urinate on yak-chunks.  
Tempest: (holds up a sign that reads ‘Still cool as heck’. even in text, Emily Blunt is too expensive)  
Capper: I got much better at sellin’ folks into slavery.  
Cap’n Caelano: Still mad at Rainbow for that stupid, stupid Rainboom.  
Cheerilee: Teacher at the friendship school. Real education in Ponyville is officially dead!  
Zecora: After the battle, my life turned for the worse. Without intervention, I’d have been in a hearse. Abusing my green dust nearly ruined my life. Now I’m out of rehab and somebody’s wife.  
Treehouse of Harmony: You forgot I was a thing, didn’t you!? …so did everyone else.  
Diamond Tiara: Silver Spoon and I are lasty’s living body pillows! (Diamond/Silver: AHEM!) (sigh) In training to take over Barnyard Bargains.  
Silver Spoon: Professional clapper at elderly stories.  
Flim and Flam: The answers to our future and more can be yours, for the low, low price of the deed to your house!  
Cadance: Immortal and unaging.  
Shining: That’s the nice thing about alicorns. I keep gettin’ older, she stays the same age, physically. Ha ha, yes she does, yes, she does!  
Flurry Heart: In Tartarus. I was…a bit of a rebellious teenager.  
Celestia: Started a metal band.  
Luna: Spending lots of time on gray, sandy beaches by myself. it just feels so right.  
Gilda: I have a couple of friends. Because that’s a good way to define your life.  
Ember: Freely pats Spike on the head. and other places, now that he’s growing up.  
Starswirl: Wishing Twilight still gave a crap about me…  
Somnambula: Hoping I’ll stop being too old for yoga at some point.  
Rockhoof: Aye, ‘tis a bonnie lyfe o’derring-do an’ good-deeds fer me!  
Meadowbrook: Wondering why Rookhoof talks all old-timey like that when the rest of us don’t. And also how I have a descendant.  
Flash Magnus: Still fired after the Sombra debacle.  
Mistmane: my joints hurt. that’s pretty much all i’ve got going on.  
Stygian: thinking and stuff.  
Discord: Already working on my plan of turning into princess Porcina to lure the next generation of villains to their worse-than-deaths. Because I’m so good.  
AK Yearling: On the run from the law as I search for Caballeron’s real killer. Who, er, isn’t me.  
Gruff: Super-dead!
 
(the song wraps up as Luster walks away with her very diverse group of friends)  
Twilight: …wait, she had friends this whole time!? She lied to me! This is even worse than Rainbow not saying she hates pie, and that lie was incredibly hurtful!  
(Twilight send Luster to…i don’t know, what’s a good horse-pun..? alpha back-half-of-a-centaur-i? no. but let’s use that anyway.)  
(Pinkie bursts out of a drum in her pig costume)  
Pinkie: A-th, a-th, a-th-that’s all, Ponks!
 
@Latecomer  
…probably.

Holidays Unwrapped
 
||Pinkie: Soufflees deflate! I want to get this to Rarity before that happens, but there’s travelling!  
lasty: Call her, have her come to you.  
(repeat, subtract some patience from lasty’s part each time)  

 
Applejack: It’s a tradition for the Flim-Flam brothers to show up and trick us every year.  
Twilight: Out of money!?  
Applejack: No, they don’t get none’a that from us.  
Twilight: They wait until you’re not looking and then they steal cider!?  
Applejack: Nope.  
Twilight: They…gather blackmail material?  
Applejack: They’re dishonest, not suicidal.  
Twilight: So, what exactly do they gain from doing this? The whole point of being con-men is to get something.  
Applejack: They do it to get the story goin’, now stop askin’ questions.  
Twilight: Sorry, it’s just…kinda stupid. heh. Almost as stupid as looking into a box with most of the bottom cut out and a deep hole in the ground beneath and not noticing until it was lifted up.  
Applejack: Well, Ah don’t see how that would be considered stupid.
 
Flim: Ha ha! We’ve done it again, brother! I can’t wait to cheat them out of nothing but time again next year!  
Flam: Too true, brother! And the way you grabbed that diamond back from them was so slick, even I didn’t see you do it!  
Flim: …  
Flam: …you got that head-sized diamond back, right?  
Flim: …  
Flam: Oh, Goshdammit!!  
Flim: Hey, you’re the one who suggested we go by the time on the Apple family’s garage clocks instead of any of our own numerous time-pieces!  
Flam: that it was, brother, that is was. come to think of it, do we even dislike the Apple family in this show?  
Flim: i always thought they were kind of nice, to be honest. especially the hot one.  
Flam: which one is the…never mind. you know, in a way, i’m kind of glad this is our last official appearance ever.  
Flim: agreed. after this debacle, i, too, kind of want to die.  

 
Pinkie: I’ll bake a dozen cupcakes and leave them outside principal Celestia’s office. She’ll have to eat them. People still remember the Cakelestia thing and nobody is above the laws of fan-service. Next, I’ll use my licorice lasso to hold the door open while her back is turned to eat unexplained ground-cupcakes. Then, we’ll sneak in, grab the key and be out before she knows it. Because she’ll be too busy stuffing her face with cupcakes that might as well have a ‘free bird seed’ sign in them with how obviously, suspiciously bait they are. Any questions?  
Twilight: How do you plan to bake two dozen cupcakes before the ticking clock thing, (smug Linkara face) hmmmm?  
Pinkie: I’m Pinkie Pie.  
Twilight: I don’t think a licorice lasso is a real thing.  
Pinkie: I’m Pinkie Pie.  
Twilight: And once again, this is trespassing.  
Pinkie: You think trespassing will be the worst thing on my record? Also, I said bake a dozen cupcakes, not two. You need ear-glasses.  
Twilight: We need a different plan.  
Applejack: We got powers! I’m sick’a not usin’ powers!  
Sunset: We used them to fake a snow day like, yesterday.  
Applejack: I’m morally alright with all the problems liftin’ the school would cause, not the least of which is seperatin’ all the plumbin’, which’ll cost th’ taxpayers a ton to repair!!  
Twilight: That’s awful. You’re being awful.  
Sunset: Well, you come up with a plan, then, you’re so smart!  
(Twilight asks to be let in)  
Sunset: _{you’re no fun. also, thanks.}  

 
Dash: Hard to park this time of year.  
lasty: Why didn’t you just ru-?  
Sunset: Why didn’t you just run?  
lasty: Right!?  
Dash: High-speed+ice=Ow! My ass!
 
Dash: How will I find a present in the next five minutes!?  
lasty: if only you were in a mall or someth-  
Dash: Oh, right, I’m at the mall.  
lasty: …do you need me for this part?  
Dash: Who are you asking that?  
lasty: AAAAAA!!
 
Fluttershy: a camera! yay!  
lasty: (waits)  
Fluttershy: with this, i can take candid photos anywhere!  
lasty: (waits)  
(pictures are taken, the scene goes to Snips and Snails)  
lasty: are they…are they not gonna say this one? oh, okay, uh, isn’t her phone a camera? Maybe a better one? And smaller, doesn’t take additional batteries and more likely for her to have on her all the ti-?  
Rarity: Wait, Fluttershy, isn’t your phone a better, more convenient camera than..?  
lasty: Curse word, I should’a skipped this one!  

 
(Rarity swoons)  
Pinkie: Rarity!? What do you need!?  
Rarity: i need…i-i need…a tailor. Because I’ve ripped my pants! _{forgive me, pants!}
 
(Dash uses super-speed to go like ten feet)  
Twilight: Wasn’t you not doing that anymore a lesson not too long ago?  
Dash: Yep, doin’ it anyway! I don’t follow the rules!  
Twilight: it’s not really a rule, it’s just…Pinkie, standing there re-enacting the early 90’s with that boombox isn’t helping anyone but your otorhinolaryngologist.  
Dash: Nobody is impressed by you not just saying ‘ear doctor’. or by lasty copy-pasting the long version.  
lasty: Stop making this a self-insert thing!
 
Applejack: Wishin’ y’all a happy holiday from our cornucopia to yours. Love, Applejack…  
Sunset: Sunset Shimmer…  
Dash: Rainbow Dash..!  
Fluttershy: fluttershy coldsoar o’rapist…  
Rarity: Rarity Unwantedpregnancy Harghis…  
Pinkie: …yeesh, no wonder you two went by first name only. Pinkie Pie..!  
Twilight: Twilight Sparkle…  
Photo: …vhat? I, Photo Finish!, do not vish ze audience a gut holiday! Screw zem!  
Applejack: Ah can’t think of a more appropriate image to end our series on. Kinda sexy, but also, like…really, this is what y’all’re into? And with that, G4 is completely and entirely concluded. See y’all again never!  
The End
 
 
(the CMCs stand backstage, smiling but quiet.)  
Scootaloo: (checks her phone for the time)  
Apple Bloom: (clears her throat)  
(waiting)  
Sweetie Belle: They’ll call us when it’s our turn to give the audience a final good-bye, right?  
Apple Bloom: ‘Course, they will. They couldn’t have a finale without us. We’re the Cruaders, kinda!  
Scootaloo: We’ve been an important part of things _{in another dimension} since the beginning!  
Sweetie Belle: Yeah, you two are right. Eee, I’m so nervous but excited, too!  
Apple Bloom: Ah heard that.  
(smiling, waiting)  
Scootaloo: (makes noises with her mouth)  
(smiling, waiting)  
Apple Bloom: Not, uh…much longer. …now.  
(camera zooms out to show Celestia, Luna and Cadance standing just behind them)  
Celestia: Any second now.  
(camera zooms out again to show Trixie, Flash, Big Mac, Granny Smith, the Shadowbolts and the sirens)  
all: Aaaaaaaaaaaaany second.  
(camera points down to a very angry-looking Spike)  
Spike: …this is total bullshit.||

@lasty  
That is great! I’m guessing you weren’t entirely satisfied with the finale? XD
 
@lasty  
This is somehow such a fitting ending to both the series and these alternate endings. One of my biggest regrets about the show’s concluding is that we’ll never see another one of these. Thank you, Lasty, you were always a joy to read.

@Ardashir  
Thank you!  
It’s kinda like with the first Equestria Girls movie. Not awful, just spent more time on something that seemed odd for Twilight than I would have liked. Except here, it meant no time for the CMCs or Student Six or former-princesses to do anything but make silent, seconds-long cameos or not show up at all. I don’t need a speech from everyone who’s ever wandered into a scene, but to me, they seemed too important to just sort of…acknowledge. So, yeah, not especially satisfying.
 
There will be more. I haven’t done The End of the End, a couple of season 9 episodes, Rainbow Roadtrip, the movie, the first few Equestria Girls things. And there’s been a particular one I’ve been wanting to do. I won’t give away what it is, but it might take me a while to rewrite all the songs in it.

@lasty  
I’m looking forward to all of them.

@lasty  

 
You’re still missing half of Season 9, I noticed. Unless they were in another thread?

@Wiimeiser  
There’s a mini-one right here , which I’m linking to instead of re-posting to prove that I made some of the jokes before seeing them on MLP in A Nutshell. Other than that, I believe all my alternate scenes are here. I’ll be going back through season 9, not necessarily in order, another day.

@lasty  
Better than the episode! Seriously, I laughed myself sick at this. Thank you so much.
 
I especially love the fates of poor(?) Rutherford, Garble, and Ember. But why was Gar-Ger tossing his scaly chunks forever?
 
EDIT: Annnnnd I already read that one. I really am forgetting everything about this site.

@lasty
Heh.

Based on this screencap:

Sunburst: (in mind) Please don’t let this be a dream!
Starlight: cutely stomps hoof to snap him out
Neighsay: turns to Tempest Want to go on a date after?
Tempest: turns to Neighsay Yes! We can do that!
Moon Dancer: You know, I dated him since high school.
Tempest: Shut up.

I know, it’s cringe 🥲

@Decokenite
👌👍

Tempest and Neighsday as OTP?

@Ardashir
Kinda…okay, yes 🥲